The Heart Doesn't Lie
by Natfanfirst
Summary: AU Jolie Fic. Natalie Is a police officer and FBI agent John comes to Llanview to attend his mother and Bo's wedding. Will circumstances bring John and Natalie together. Read and find out. Please review!
1. Chapter 1

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Chapter 1

"Johnny, you made it" Eve said to her son as he ran into the church just in time to help his brother Michael give her away at her wedding to Bo Buchanan. John was running very late, he was actually suppose to be here in Llanview last night for the church rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner but he was stuck at FBI headquarters filing paperwork on the latest case he was on. He knew he had to get it done if he wanted to take his two weeks mandatory leave after a big case of this type, the two week leave usually didn't matter much but this time he really needed the break. He also thought it would be great to spend some time will his mom and his brother, Michael.

His brother Michael had gotten Married over two years ago and he even has a kid that Johnny never even met, something Johnny regretted. Johnny had been so busy jumping from one case to the next in the last four years that he hadn't taken time for anything or anyone, and that was exactly how he liked it, well for a while anyways. He lived for work, it took up all his time, he didn't have time for things like family, marriage or children nor did he want those things, since his fiancé left him for another man five years ago he swore off life, love and just about everything but his work.

"Johnny, I'm so glad you made it Bro, it's been along time," Michael told him as he hugged him with a slam on the back

"Glad to be here Mikey" John told him and then they heard the wedding march start.

"Its time boys" Eve told them and they each took one of her arms and lead her down the aisle. John didn't like this type of stuff, he hated to be in the center of everything, he was so thankful that he knew no one would be looking at him, his mother was the star today, she was the beautiful bride. When he got down the aisle near Bo and the rest of the bridal party, John was unsure what to do, did he sit or was he to stand, he was suppose to be a groomsman also, him and Michael along with this Bo's twelve year old son. He whispered to his mom before he helped hand her hand over to Bo and she told him to stand next to Michael on the alter and he follow his lead. John could do that he thought, he took a look around the church, pretty nice he thought, a lot nicer than the church they use to attend in AC.

John continued to glance around the church in amazement as the ceremony proceeded, after a few minutes of searching this place of god he looked at his mother, the woman who gave him so much in life, the woman who gave up so much in her life to take care of her boys, he smiled seeing how happy she was and how beautiful she was when he noticed a few more red heads on the alter standing next to her, there was a short redhead with a loud laugh and he knew that was Michael wife because of the wedding picture they had sent him, then there was a blonde, a dippy looking of a blonde and then he saw another red head, he saw her from the side, she had long hair that reached the middle of her back and he couldn't see her face cause she was turned facing his mom, he moved a little to try and get a look at her face and he almost fell off the alter, Michael saw him and caught him before he did.

"Thanks Mikey" John whispered into Mike's ear

"Any time Johnny anytime" Michael whispered back noticing he was still straining to catch a look at Natalie.

"She's Bo's niece, her name is Natalie" Michael whispered into his ear.

"Thanks Mikey" John said and Mikey chuckled a little.

The ceremony finished up and Eve and Bo were announced husband and wife. They kissed and then they started to walk down the aisle together. John was clueless what to do next when he noticed Michael take Marcie by the arm and walk down after his mom and Bo. Then it he boy, Mathew he thought he remembered his mom saying his name was, Mathew joined the blonde and they too walked down the aisle, all that was left was the faceless red head and him, she turned to John and smiled. John was stunned by her, by her smile, her beauty, her face. He didn't quite understand what it was but he was motionless for a few minutes when he heard her speak.

"It's our turn to walk down the aisle now" Natalie told him as he couldn't believe her voice, it sent chills down his spine. Natalie put out her arm for him to take a hold of and she laughed by the confusion evident on his face.

"Just take my arm and walk" Natalie told him as everyone started to notice they weren't keeping up with the rest of the wedding party. John came out of his gaze and took her arm, she guided them down the aisle to meet everyone else.

John joined Michael and Marcie as he let go off Natalie arm. No words were spoken and he watched as she walked over to a few men and started laughing, he watched her closely thinking he had never seen a more beautiful site when Michael spoke to him.

"Johnny, earth to Johnny, Natalie's not the only person here you know?"

"I know" John said still not taking his eye's off of her, Natalie had even noticed him watching her, she looked him straight in the face and at first she smiled but then she thought it a bit stalkerish and looked away. John saw he was making her nervous so he looked at Michael.

"What happens now?"

"You really don't know anything about weddings do you?' Michael told him and he shook his head no. Michael explained about going to the reception and dancing.

"Dancing!" John said a little to loud cause almost everyone looked at him

"Mom, didn't say anything about dancing," John said getting nervous cause he just didn't dance.

"Do I have to?" he asked Michael like a child

"Yes, John you're a big boy you have to dance like the rest of us in the wedding party" Michael told him when a light bulb went off in his head

"Do I get to dance with her?" John asked excited for a few minutes at the thought of holding her body close to his

"Yeah, actually I think you luck out and she's suppose to be your partner" Michael told him and John grinned a sexy grin.

Everyone headed over to the palace hotel for the reception, the band played the first dance for Bo and Eve and they went out on the dance floor and started dancing, next thing John knew Michael and Marcie was guiding him to the dance floor for it was time for the wedding party to dance, John walked out to the dance floor and he saw her come over to him.

"Mikey says you're my partner for this dance," John told Natalie and she nodded yes. Natalie put out her arm and John took her hand in his and started to just move his upper body somewhat.

"I'm John, Eve's son" John told her introducing himself

"I know Eve talks about you all the time," Natalie told him purposely not introducing herself

"And do you have a name?" he asked softly as he started moving his feet a little.

"I know you already know it, so there's no need to tell you again" Natalie told him looking him straight in the eyes

"And what would make you think I already know your name"

"You asked Michael"

"How did you know that?"

"I'm good at reading people, I'm a cop" Natalie told him as she saw the surprise look on his face.

"No, I know women cops, you're to beautiful to be one" John said and he saw her smile fade.

"I'm sorry did I say something wrong, I was just stating the obvious, the obvious that you are beautiful, and your not like any cop or agent I've ever worked with and I've worked with quite a few."

"Thanks, that was nice of you to say but, I just.. well it's been real hard for me to play things down."

"What so you mean?"

"It's hard to get the other cops, men cops to take me seriously cause of the way I look, that's why I'm so glad to be home and working her for my uncle, when I was in the academy you wouldn't believe the things I had to go thru, the things I had to prove just because I wasn't ugly and because of well...well.. never mind"

"No, tell me what you where going to say, because of what else"

"You know it's not important, it's not something I want to be saying to a new in law"

"Come on we're family now just say it now I'm curious"

"Okay, because of my breast, my chest size, you wouldn't believe the jokes I had to endure, the comments. Don't get me wrong I can handle the wise ass remarks it was just tiresome when my instructors were on the ban wagon too."

"Are you kidding me?" John said with a serious look on his face.

"That's awful, you were discriminated against because of your breast size" John said and then he actually thought it was kind of funny, not what happened to her but what he had just said. John started to laugh out loud a little.

"Of all the discrimination in the world you've got boob discrimination," John said completely laughing. Natalie however didn't think it was funny. She stopped dancing and looked at him.

"I've gotta tell ya but, you do have a fantastic set," John said still Laughing when he saw the steam come from her head and then he sobered from his laughter when he felt her slap him across his face.

"Go screw yourself" Natalie told him as she slapped him and walked off the dance floor towards Rex.


	2. Chapter 2

ABC owns them

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Chapter 2

John felt really bad about what happened, he didn't mean for her to think he was laughing cause she had big boobs, it just came across funny to him, he was by the bar a few minutes after the slap and he noticed she went outside the back doors alone, he followed her out.

Natalie went outside to get some air, at first she was beginning to think John, Eve's son was a nice guy, a decent guy like Eve had always claimed him to be but then she sort of opened up to him about something, opened up to him which was something she just didn't do and definitely not to someone she just met. And when she did he made a big joke of it, well it wasn't a joke, she told herself and then she thought about what he had said and she grinned a little thinking the way he said it was sort of funny. She heard someone clear their throat and she looked up to see John Mcbain standing there.

"Hi, I'm John Mcbain, Eve's son " John told her with his hand out for her to shake.

"What are you doing?"

"I'd like a do over, if that's alright with you?" John told her softly as she thought about it for a minute; she extended her hand out to his and they shook. Natalie felt chills down her spine at his touch; there was just something about the contact of their hands that caused her to get the chills.

"Natalie Vega, I'm sorry, Natalie Buchanan" Natalie told her

"I'm sorry I said those things to you in there, they were in appropriate and rude and I deserved that slap. I hope we can just maybe forget it and be friends." John told her as he watched her eyes carefully. She had the most beautiful eye's he had ever seen, they intrigued him, everything about her intrigued him, he was getting more and more anxious to learn more about her.

"Forget what?" she said and she smiled at him. she looked inside thru the window and saw everyone dancing again and a sadness came over her eye's. She looked back at him and he saw it.

"Are you alright?" John asked

"Yeah, I'm fine, weddings just make me a little sad sometimes, I think I'll go for a walk, see ya" Natalie told him as she started walking thru the outside dinning area over to a little garden path.

"wait" John said as he called after her. Natalie turned back before she was on the garden path and saw him run after her.

"Can I keep you company on that walk, I'm really not into weddings" John told her

"Yeah, I kinda guessed that" she said as he walked along side her. They walked in silence for a few minutes when John was curious and had to ask.

"Can I ask you something? And you don't have to answer it if you don't want, you can just tell me it's none of my business but.. well why did you first say Vega for your last name?"

"Normally I don't tell strangers my business but I guess we're sort ot family now and well if I don't tell you Michael or Marcie will so I guess I will"

"I'm just not use to being back to Buchanan, my divorce was just final about a week ago, although we've been separated for awhile, it just became final. So I just forget sometimes."

"It wasn't easy on you was it? The divorce I mean, do you still love him?"

"I'm sorry, I know these are personal questions lets forget I asked them, so is it always so cold here in September?" John said trying to change the subject.

"No, it wasn't easy on me, I'm much better now, and no I don't still love him, it just makes me sad sometimes to think about everything that had happened."

"I usually don't talk about things like this but for some reason I feel like I just want to tell you everything"

"So then tell me, because for some reason I'm really curious to know all there is to know about you"

"Really, you're not just using that as a pick up line?"

"Hey, If the boob line didn't tell you how bad I am at pick up lines, hell how bad I am at talking I don't know what will" John said and they both laughed

Natalie went on to tell John about being Married to Chris for a few months when she made the decision to go into the police academy, Chris was against it but it was something she wanted at the time, something she wanted so bad to prove to her self she could do, so she went to boot camp and after a few weeks she got to come home, she was all set to surprise Chris when she came home and found him in bed with someone else. She told him how devastated she was and how she couldn't forgive something like that, and how Chris the man she thought was the love of her life didn't even try and get her to forgive him, as if he was glad she caught him.

John and Natalie walked full circle around the outside of the palace talking and laughing, it seem to come easy to the both of them, something that usually didn't happen for John, he usually didn't open up to anyone definitely not talk this much to anyone but she made him want to, somehow with out even trying or hoaxing him into it he told her stuff, even stuff about Caitlin his once fiancée. They were in the middle of laughing at a lame joke that John had just told when they came back to the doors they entered from awhile ago, Natalie Saw Jessica looking around.

"There you are, come on its time for Eve to throw the bouquet and she said she wouldn't throw it till you were inside and ready to catch it"

"Jess, I don't think so, I hate that tradition, can you just tell her something for me, maybe like you couldn't find me"

"NO, absolutely not, the bride wants you there and you are going to be there" Jess told her forcible and started shoving Natalie towards the door, she looked to john briefly for help but he just laughed at her face and followed the girls into the reception. John stood back some from the chaos occurring on the dance floor, their was about ten women on the floor including Natalie waiting for his mom to throw the bouquet, he noticed how all the other woman seemed so interested in catching it and it looked that if Nat's dress had pockets her hands would be inside them so to assure she didn't catch it. He saw his mom throw it and she threw it straight to Natalie and she had no other choice than to put her hands out and catch it, she smiled and shook her head as Eve and Bo gathered around her, she was laughing a genuine laugh and he almost melted on the floor, she was so beautiful, he thought, undeniable beautify and she was so unique of a person, he watched her stand next to Eve as Bo got ready to throw the garter, Michael came by and without realizing it at first he shoved him out onto the middle of the floor so he could participate in the wedding ritual.

Bo threw the garter and it came right at John and he had no other choice then to catch it, actually he grabbed it quickly cause there was at least three other men charging at him for it. He smiled not knowing what came next to this ritual, next thing he knew they had Natalie in the middle of the dance floor sitting on a chair, she was holding the bouquet and he stood frozen for a few minutes watching her joke and laugh with her uncle, then they called for him, he walked over slowly and they told him what he had to do with the garter.

"You mean I have to put this up her thigh?" John questioned Eve as he became embarrassed, how was he going to touch this beauty's silky thigh with his fingers and not want more, how was he going to hide the erection that was starting to form in his pants as he thought about it, he shifted himself and he knew he would have to think unpleasant thoughts to get thru this next ten minutes with little embarrassment, he walked closer to Natalie as they instructed and looked into her baby blue eye's and he knee led down next to the chair as they watched each other, she smiled at him and he thought he was going to lose it right then and there. He pushed the garter up and over her toes on her leg, he noticed the red polish and her toenails and he fought back a sigh, her leg was so sexy he thought as he slowly pushed the garter up passed mid calve and he slowly pushed it a little further up just above her knee, he stopped thinking that was a good spot, not wanting to torment himself with going further when he heard everyone start to chant to go higher, red in the face with embarrassment he smiled up at her, giving her a look asking for permission, she smiled back probably just as embarrassed as he and he proceeded to push the garter up her silky thigh to a spot he would think incorporate if it was his daughter or niece but the crowd didn't seem to worried about it. He stopped and let his hand linger on her thigh for a moment and then he had to get out of there, his erection was hardening more and more as he stayed an looked at her. He smiled at her and excused himself once it was over. He walked back outside so that the brisk air could help him regain himself. He heard the door open and he didn't turn to see who was there for he knew it was her, unsure how he knew it was her but he did.

"Pretty embarrassing stuff huh?" Natalie asked him, as he didn't face her. he was afraid to, his erection was just becoming under control and if she was to close right now he might do something to embarrass the both of them. Natalie noticed that he seemed distant, different from earlier, he was acting weird almost like he didn't want her around.

"Are you okay? Is everything OK?" she asked him as his back was still to her.

"Fine, I just need a little alone time," John said and as he said the words he cursed himself and her damn beauty, her damn silky thigh.

"Okay, I'm...I'm sorry to interrupt" she said softly in a disappointed voice, she turned to go back inside and he heard her mumble.

"It was nice meeting, I hope you enjoy your visit here in Llanview" Natalie said and she was gone. John looked back after he heard the door close and he could see her thru the windows, she had gone up to a blonde headed man in the corner and the man put his arm around her. A feeling of jealousy came upon him and he wasn't sure why, he had just met this girl, not a girl, no Natalie was much more than a girl she was a woman and he knew it. He also knew he would have been going into uncharted Waters had she stayed outside with him and not get his hint to leave. He had a feeling, a feeling he was unsure of what come upon him the minute he saw her. At first he thought it was just lust, some sort of sexual desire for her and her amazing body but then she opened up to him, he opened up to her a little, he wasn't even thinking about her amazing body or her beautiful face any longer when he felt aroused again, just the thought of her, her whole package seem to leave him out of control. A few minutes later John was still outside when Michael walked out.

"There you are, mom's been looking for you, I think she realized you hadn't been officially introduced to our new dad"

"What?"

"You know what I mean Bo, our new step dad, and I gotta tell ya John dad would like him, he's a good man, some of the Buchanan's are a little, well lets just say uppity sometimes but Bo and Natalie are real treasures, really truly nice people. Come on"

Eve saw her boys walking towards her and Bo; she smiled at John and introduced them officially.

"It's nice to meet you John, well officially anyways, I know I saw you with Nat and the garter but it's nice to actually get to shake your hand son" Bo told him as he shook his hand.

"So your mom says you've got a few weeks off and you'll be staying in Llanview and catching up" Bo told him and John nodded

"That's great, well be away for a week but after that we'll be back, I don't know if your mom mentioned this but you can stay at our place for the week if you want?" Bo asked him

"Thanks, that'll be nice" John told him

"John can I ask you a favor while I'm gone?" john nodded

"Your mom told me all about your extensive FBI career, and well I don't usually ask this of someone and someone who I know is on Vacation but.. but if you could do me a favor and watch over the police department a bit while I'm gone, nothing major just check things out every couple of days for me, and if there's a problem I can be reached, I wouldn't ask but my chief of detectives just quit last week and the officer filling in is well... well I don't want to say incompetent but.. he's not that on top of things."

" Sure Bo I wouldn't mind"

"Thanks John that's great, I wouldn't have asked but there's also a big case My niece and her partner are working on, and well.. she my niece, if something happens to her.. I.. well she and I are close , she 's the closest thing I have to a daughter and if anything was to happen to her while I wasn't around, I would be devastated." Bo told John and John shook his head. Eve came over and kissed John goodbye and she and BO left for their honeymoon. Before they did they gave John the key and the address to their apartment, John briefly looked over to see Natalie across the room still joking with the blonde man when he caught her eye, they locked eye's for a minute and then she walked away with the man and left the hotel.


	3. Chapter 3

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Chapter 3

Natalie awoke Monday morning before her alarm clock, she hadn't gotten much sleep last night for she was thinking about John, eve's son who she had just met. She was instantly drawn to him at the church, then when they danced she was intrigued by him but then he went and made that remark about her breasts, not that he seem to mean it, it was a little funny but out of line for saying to someone you just met, definitely out of one for new family. But then she thought that seem to be him, out of line, out of place, now that was what it was, he seemed out of place at first but then outside of the Palace he seemed better, she thought, she could tell he wasn't use to big family events as a wedding, and she also figured him to be the strong silent type never opening up but he seem to , to her, which she smiled and thought was nice for a few minutes till she remembered, remembered his careless attitude after the whole garter, bouquet thing, he was distant, or was he trying to keep his distance from her, did she do or say something wrong. She thought to herself as she decided to leave it alone, put it away, it didn't matter, he was going to be here for two weeks and then leave, she had more important things to think about right now like the case she and Harry were working on.

Harry was Nat's partner, Natalie was usually in uniform being so new to the force when there was a special need for a red head cop. there's this guy, this really dirty, sleazy type guy at this bar just outside the outskirts of Llanview, a portion of the building lays on Llanview soil so it's Llanview's jurisdiction. Well Izzy, that's the sleazes name, he has a thing for redheads, so Natalie begged, and she begged her uncle some more to let her do it, go undercover to catch Izzy for running a prostitution ring out of his bar and for murder. It seems Izzy is coercing his cocktail waitress to sleep with some very important business associates of his, mostly connected associates. Word on street has it when a waitress tells him no, she ends up face down in the gutter, or even the river. There have been three waitresses so far found dead that use to work for Izzy and no real evident to point the finger to him, no evidence to put him away behind bars. That's were Natalie came in and she knew it, she was a redhead, just what Izzy liked, so Natalie went undercover to his club looking for a job. Well it worked, it all came together last week when she walked into his bar called the Red Pelican, Natalie had worn her short black leather mini and one of her lowest cut blouses, he was drooling like a dog she remembered, she also had a wire, for which BO insisted she always where, it was an itty bitty thing stuck in her bra, so small it would never be detected. Of course Izzy gave her a job, she worked for him two days last week, Natalie allowed him to come on to her and she even flirted with him which totally repulsed her but it was her job and if it helped to get him arrested, to get his sleazy ass off the street, she'd do it.

Natalie walked into the bathroom of her apartment to take a shower, she had to go into the station this morning for a few hours and then tonight, tonight she worked at Izzy's place.

John was walking to the police station, he had wanted to spend the day with Michael but he had to work, his mom and her new husband Bo Buchanan had left for there honeymoon last night. They would be gone a week out of the two weeks John had off to spend with his family, his family he thought, he missed them, he thought about it and he had really missed them, not just his mom but his pain in the ass brother too. He thought about his new extended family, the Buchanan's, well one Buchanan in particular, Natalie. His mind was dreaming and thinking about her all last night, he just couldn't get her out of his head; there was just something about her. John walked into the station to check on things like Bo had asked. Not only did he want to check on things but also check on a certain Red head who left the wedding last night thinking John wasn't interested. Well he was, hell he was more than interested in her, he saw things with her, even after only just meeting her, he dreamt of things with her, it was a first time feeling for him, a strangeness he couldn't quite put his finger on. He came out of his thoughts when he saw a receptionist sitting at a desk out side of the commissioner's office, Bo's office.

"Can I help you?" Ann Bo's assistant asked

"Yes, I'm john Mcbain and Bo Buchanan asked me to check on things here at the station"

"Yes, I remember Bo telling me you'd be coming by this week to check in, your Eve's son right?"

"I remember seeing you with Natalie at the wedding yesterday, I'm Ann, it's nice to meet you"

Ann told John he could use Bo's office for what ever he wanted and she mentioned that Danny the temporary Chief of detectives was running late that she would send him in to speak to him when he arrived. John sat back in Bo's chair and was unaware of what Bo had actually wanted him to check on.

Natalie was just about to walk into the police station when she heard Chris calling for her, she ignored him, she just wasn't up to getting into a fight with him today, although they were divorced Chris still thought of Natty as his property, although he was the one to ruin things with his cheating he still expected her to continue to be his wife and when she had filed for divorce he was pissed, but there was nothing he could do about it, so now since he couldn't be her husband any longer he would be her pain in the ass Ex. a goal he set that he was living up to. Natalie walked into the station and over by Anne's desk before Chris caught up with her.

"Natalie! Didn't you hear me calling you?" Chris asked standing by Ann's desk. Natalie just turned slightly towards him.

"I heard you" she told him . John was in Bo's office just looking over the file Ann had given him on Izzy Foley when he heard the commotion outside the office, he looked up and there she was, the one his mind couldn't stop thinking about, he walked closer to the door and he heard the argument between Natalie and some guy getting louder.

"Well if you heard me why didn't you stop so we could talk?"

"Maybe because I don't want to talk to you. Chris look, I'm at work if you have something important you have to tell me this time, call me after my shift. But make sure it's important cause we're not married any longer and I don't need to put up with your caveman shit anymore" Natalie told him and Chris started to get real mad, he grabbed her arm roughly as Natalie got a look of hatred in her eye's.

"Get your hand off of me! right Now or I'll have you arrested." Natalie told him as Chris didn't move his hand off her arm, instead he gave her a make me look.

John saw the man's hand on her arm and he didn't think he just reacted; he walked over to the guy and grabbed him. He pushed him up against the wall and got in his face as he held him by the collar of his shirt.

"The lady doesn't want to be handled by you" John told Chris sternly as Chris looked at John and got the picture.

"Do you understand me?" John told Chris and then John let his grip on Chris fall. Chris walked passed John and then before he could walk pass Natalie he couldn't help himself. Chris abruptly went up to her and took a kiss; Natalie felt him on her and pushed him across the room after she bit down hard on his lip making him bleed.

John saw the punk ass kiss her and he watched as Natalie pushed him clear across the room, he walked closer to them quickly and again grabbed Chris by the collar and proceeded to drag his sorry ass out towards the doors of the station as Chris called out some more rude remarks to Natalie.

"Who the hell is this guy Natty, is he your next victim, poor guy doesn't know what he's in for" Chris told Natalie as John was about to throw him out of the doors of the station, but before John did he gave him a little friendly advice.

"I don't know who you are, and I don't care who you are. Stay the hell away from her, or you'll be sorry" John told him as Chris got a superior attitude and got pissed.

"She's some piece of work my natty, the ink isn't even dry on our divorce and she's already got a new stud in the stable, she's a wild ride isn't she?" Chris told John and John pushed the swinging station door open and threw his ass out onto the concrete.

"Next time you assault an officer like that I'll have you arrested, be thankful punk" John told him as he went back towards Bo's office, he saw Natalie standing in the office when he got in there.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Natalie asked him

"What? I just threw his ass out for you, I think I should get a Thank you"

"A Thank You! you think I should thank you for fighting my battles for me, and in front of the whole department, so now everyone thinks I'm weak, that I need a big bad man to fight for me"

"Natalie I.. I just didn't like the grip he had on your arm, I... I didn't like the way he was talking to you, It bothered me"

"so you jump him and threaten him, who the hell are you? I just met you yesterday why the hell would you even care if Chris put his hands on me or the way he was talking to me."

"I don't know, I just do, I just care that is"

"Next time you feel the urge to defend my honor, don't! You don't know anything about me and you haven't a clue what I can handle myself, what I've always handled myself, so while your in town stay out of my business!" Natalie told him as her partner Harry and Danny the acting chief of detectives walked in. Natalie looked at the men and then back at John.

"Agent Mcbain, I'm Danny Travis and Bo mentioned you'd be coming by this week while he's gone to help, now if you'd like we can update you on what's going on with the Izzy Foley case, right Natalie, we can update him on the case?" Danny said and then he turned to Natalie and asked the questions, Natalie nodded her head yes, Harry started talking first as Natalie calmed down from the confrontation she just had with him and the one wit Chris, she wondered why Bo hadn't mentioned anything to her about having John Mcbain help out , over see the cases in the station this week. Nat, Harry and Danny finished updating John on the case and then they all left Bo's office together, John watched as a still annoyed Natalie walked out of the office, he watched as she became more relaxed when she was away from him, he noted that fact but it didn't make him feel good, he wanted her to be relaxed around him, he wanted her to like him, she seem to be mad at him for throwing her ex husband out of the station, and he didn't quite understand why, yeah, she told him it was because she could handle her own battles and then she said it was because of the other officers, was that it? or did she just not like him? he thought maybe she did yesterday when they walked outside the Palace but then, the whole garter thing happened, he got excited by her and he didn't trust himself near her, especially since she was now family, especially since she didn't seem the type to sleep around. John decided her did all he could do at the station for Bo and he left , but before he left the station completely he stopped and asked Ann if she knew where Natalie was, Ann replied that she had left for the day.

John walked into Rodi's, a bar and grill after calling Michael and making arrangements to meet him for his lunch break here. As soon as he walked in he looked around and automatically loved this place. he loved it even more when he looked over in the corner to see a pool table, he decided to play a few games while he waited for Michael when he wasn't looking where he was going and almost tripped over a person who had bent down to pick up a square of chalk that she had dropped under the table.

"Whoa! I'm sorry I didn't see y---" John said as he bumped into Natalie's bent over behind

"Hey buddy watch your hands" Natalie said as she stood up when she felt someone bump into her and that persons hands smack her right across her butt cheeks.

"It's you, I should have know it was you" Natalie said shaking her head. John was speechless, he tried to form a few words but none came out, he wondered what the hell was wrong wit him, Natalie saw him just standing there not saying anything as if the cat had his tongue and she said excuse me and pushed passed him to go and break the balls for which she just racked. John regained himself after a few seconds and grabbed a stick off the wall.

"Up for a game?" John asked her, Natalie looked at him contemplating if she should or not. she knew she could beat his butt , but ..she was in a bad mood because of him and Chris, she shook her head yes and she smiled. she smiled cause she decided to hustle him, let him win a few , then maybe show him how good at taking care of herself she was.

Four games later John was shaking his head, he had won the first two with little effort and then she had wiped the table clean with the last two, he smiled at her as he knew he had been had. Natalie smiled back at him knowing that he knew he had been hustled. John walked over to Natalie who was still smiling, he was having such a great time, he could now add the fact that she knew how to play pool to the long list of things he liked about her. he walked up close to her.

"I can't believe I fell for that. You're bad do you know that, evil" John told her laughing while standing in front of her, he stared into her eye's as she wet her suddenly dry lips. It took all of him not to jump her right there and then when he saw the desired look in her eyes. They stood still for a few minutes just staring, as they couldn't seem to get enough of each other's eyes. Finally Natalie spoke.

"I've gotta go, I've.. gotta get to work at Izzy's in a few hours...I'll see ya" Natalie told him getting excited inside by his close presence

"Yeah, see ya" John told her as he watched her walk to the door. she turned briefly to look back at him and her mind told her 'what the heck'.

"Do you wanna walk me to my car?" Natalie asked him and he didn't respond with words he flew across the room towards her. They walked out of Rodi's staring straight in front of them, when they reached Natalie's car she turned, she looked into his baby blue eye's and she felt like she was on fire, she didn't understand what was wrong with her but she wasn't going to question it, she threw him back against her car and as she did his hands came up to the back of her head and pulled her closer so he could take her mouth.


	4. Chapter 4

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* * *

Chapter 4

John continued to take Natalie's mouth as she had him pinned up against her car, urgently as if not being able to get enough of each other they continued to make out for a few minutes till Natalie came to her senses.

"Oh, My God, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. this isn't like me, it isn't like me at all" Natalie told him embarrassed by the fact that she made out with him, almost a complete stranger in the middle of the afternoon in a parking lot.

She became more and more embarrassed as she thought about it and she got in her car quickly and sped out of the parking lot.

John could almost still feel her lips on his, he leaned up against a near by car and stood there unable to move for a few minutes. He closed his eye's and relived it, their kissing, it was so intense, it felt so good, she wanted it as much as he had, he smiled to himself now realizing she wants him as much as he wants her, almost from the second they met, and he swore he had never tasted anyone or anything as sweet. He opened his eyes and started to walk towards his car, he needed to get back to his mom's place and take a cold shower, yeah; a cold shower was definitely needed.

Natalie drove home to her apartment out of breath, she still couldn't catch it, she touched her lips with one of her fingers and she swore she could still taste his lips on hers. She pulled into a parking spot and she got out of her car, she went upstairs to her place for a cold shower, yes, that was what she needed, a cold shower and then she needed to get ready to work at Izzy's tonight.

Sometime around eight pm John sat in his car outside the Red Pelican, he had gotten the address from Izzy Foley's file earlier today and he knew she would be undercover at the bar trying to find out information on Izzy, trying to win his trust. He watched as she arrived and walked into the bar, his eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw what she was wearing. He looked away briefly but then looked again, fish neck stockings, the shortest mini shirt he had ever seen and then her blouse. The blouse that there wasn't much too, a red sequin type shirt which looked to be two sizes to small, to small since it pushed her breast up almost into her face. My God! Is that her waitress uniform, he asked himself and got an unsettling feeling, although he quite enjoyed the view he didn't want anyone else to, it took all of him not to run over and throw his jacket around her so no one had the opportunity to look at her. John waited for a few minutes after she walked into the bar and then he went over to the surveillance van with her partner Harry in it. He knocked three times to let them know it was him and he went in to listen to what was going on in the bar. Most of the night was uneventful; Izzy himself was only there for a few hours. John sat there an a few times had to calm himself after hearing some remarks that were made to Natalie by some of the bars patrons, by some lowlifes, he also had to leave the van for a few minutes when it seemed someone, a lowlife copped a feel or to on Natalie, he didn't know why but he was beginning to lose it. Why he asked himself while he was outside the van, why was she making him so crazy, why did he care so much about someone he just met? He had no real answers to his questions and he calmed enough to go back inside the van.

Sometime around three am the bar was closing and Natalie came out and got into her car, they all watched from the van as she pulled away from the bar, John quickly returned to his car in hopes of catching up with her, he ended up following her home. He saw her get out of her car and he approached her quietly. He was walking behind her. Natalie felt and heard someone come up behind her, when he came closer she swung around with her leg and kicked him in the balls. John automatically grabbed himself and fell to the floor in pain.

"Oh, My, God John I'm so sorry, I didn't know it was you, let me help you inside and we'll.. I mean you can put ice on it..I mean them.. I'm so sorry" Natalie told him as she helped to lift him up off the ground, she brought him inside her apartment and helped him to the couch. She went and brought him an ice pack and at first she was about to put it on him when she looked up and saw his face. She smiled and he took the ice pack from her. After a few minutes he was finally able to speak.

"Remind me to never sneak up on you again" John told her with a small smile.

"Are you alright? Are they better? I really am sorry" Natalie told him and he laughed little

"Do you always go around kicking men where it hurts?" John said laughing as she laughed a little too.

"Do you always sneak up on women in the dark early morning?" she said answering his question with a question. They both continued to laugh for a few minutes. Natalie took a seat next to him and she pulled a couch pillow close to her.

"What are you doing here at this time in the morning?" she asked him curious

"I... I. wanted to make sure you got home okay, you know from the bar," John told her

"Were you at the bar?" in the van?"

" Yeah, I was just following Bo's orders to make sure his favorite niece that was more like a daughter to him was safe."

"Well if I'm like a daughter to him then you would be my brother now wouldn't you? And then what we did earlier would be most definitely inappropriate."

"No, it wouldn't I'd be your step brother, no blood lines crossing" he said flirting and smiling back at her

"You know John I'm sort of glad that came up, the kissing thing I mean" she said getting serious again

"I don't want you to get the wrong impression, I don't usually do that, I mean just attack someone in a public place and well...well. You seem to be a great guy but.. you won't be here long and you're sort of family, so I think maybe it's best it never happens again, I mean I'd like for us to be friends, right now I'm not in a good place to be jumping into anybodies bed." Natalie told him and she saw a bit of disappointment in his face.

"Yeah, I think your right, I'm only going to be here short term and Friends would be good, I'd like that" John told her and she smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

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* * *

Chapter 5

John and Natalie agreed to be friends; neither of them felt they were ready for anything more than Friendship at this point in their lives. John had just left Natalie's apartment and was headed back to his Mom and Bo's place when he got in his car, started the engine but didn't leave. He stood there; he sat there in the car for a few minutes. He shook his head and turned off the car, he got out of it and ran back up the three flights of stairs to her apartment. He knocked on her door and was surprised to here her voice so close to it.

Natalie was still standing with her back to her door after she escorted him out of it, they had agreed to be friends, how could they be anything more, he was only going to be in town for less than two weeks now and she knew with the way his kiss made her feel that she was only headed towards a broken heart. She heard a knock on her door and she knew it was him; she slowly opened it as soon as she heard the knock. Before she could say anything, he grabbed her and started kissing her, he pushed her back into the middle of the apartment and they urgently ran their hands up and down each other's bodies. Finally after a few minutes they parted, they looked into each others eye's and then John headed out of the door again, no words were spoken till John turned around before leaving the apartment completely.

"Pool tomorrow? Before your shift at Izzy's? Friends right?" John asked her still breathing a little heavy and she nodded her head yes with a smile.

The next couple of days went fast for John and Natalie; it was about three am when john again for the fourth night in a row watched her leave Izzy's Bar. He followed her home with his car like he had done the last couple of nights and when he parked his car she was out of hers waiting for him with a frown look on her face.

"What's a matter?"

"You don't mind if I skip out on our nightly talk tonight do you?"

"Why whets up?

"It's nothing really"

"Tell me, what is it?'"

"I'm ... I'm just getting a little impatient that's all, I wish it was time already, I wish Izzy would just ask already, I need this assignment over with, I need to get out of that place"

"What happened tonight that I didn't hear"?

"Nothing"

"Natalie, I know you're lying. Tell me"

"I'm just tired of being manhandled that's all, those sleazes with their hands on me constantly, Izzy with putting his whole arm down the opening in back of my shirt, the way he thinks it's so funny to unhook my bra in the back. I think I just need sleep." Natalie told him as she saw his face change; it went from serious to rage in a matter of a few seconds. She saw him get angry and clench his fist together.

"John, please, calm down"

"I've must go" John told her and he left, John drove to the Red Pelican and stopped the car in front. Everyone was gone and he was glad for that, cause with how he was feeling right now, if Izzy was there he might have been tempted to strangle the bastard with his bare hands, he was getting in to deep, much too deep with Natalie, they were suppose to be friends but what he felt went way passed caring for her as a friend. He drove back to Bo's apartment and went in to get some sleep.

The next morning came quick when John arrived at the police station to see Natalie already there, working at her desk. He walked over to her and sat on the edge of her desk.

"Are you feeling better this morning?"

"Yes, thanks, I'm not scheduled to work at Izzy's tonight so ya want to do something? Maybe a movie?" Natalie asked as John just looked away.

"What is it John?" she said as she saw he couldn't meet her eye's.

"Nothing, I'm just busy tonight with Michael"

"That's funny, I just saw him in the park, he says he's working all night? If you don't want to spend time with me be a man and say so, don't lie to me, I don't like people who lie to me" Natalie told him in a bit of a huff and she excused herself and went to get some files from the cabinet. By the time she was done at the filing cabinet, he was gone. She shook her head feeling sad and then she reminded herself that he would be leaving in less than a week.

John walked thru Angel Square disappointed in himself, disappointed cause he lied to her, she trusted him and he lied to her. He had wanted nothing more than to spend every waking moment and even every sleeping moment wit her but he couldn't. He was falling in love with her and he didn't know how to stop it. With every day that pasted he cared more and more about her, he never used the word love lightly but when he thought about her, about Natalie, he just felt it, the word, the feeling. He knew he had to try and keep his distance for the next week, he knew it, he could never be around her and just say or think friend again.

That night Michael had called and told John he was getting off earlier than planned, Marcie was scheduled to sing a few songs at Capricorn tonight and he asked John to join him. The two met up at Michael's house and went over to Capricorn. They walked in and John thought his eyes were playing tricks on him, he blinked several times but it was real, it was Natalie on the dance floor with some guy, the guy had his body up against hers and they were dancing to a slow song that the band was playing. John's heart started beating quickly, he felt like he couldn't breath, he watched for a few more minutes and then the man's hands went up and down Natalie's sides, Natalie pushed back from the guy just as John came in between them and punched the man straight in the nose.

"John, what the hell are you doing?" Natalie yelled at him as she helped Ron Walsh up off the floor.

"I'm so sorry Ron, I'm so sorry!" Natalie told Ron as Michael came over to look at Ron's nose, Michael plugged it wit his fingers and stopped the bleeding.

"John, are you crazy, this is Marcie's brother, what the hell is wrong with you?" Natalie again asked. John was silent for a few minutes when Michael took Ron into the bathroom to take a better look at his nose. Natalie grabbed John's arm and led him to the side of the bar.

"You can't just come in here and punch my date in the nose!"

"Your date? You have a date with that guy?"

"Yes, I have a date with him, not that it's any of your business, he's been asking me to come and see Marcie sing with him for awhile and when you decided you didn't want to hang out tonight, I figured what the hell."

"Maybe you can now explain to me what it is you want from me, why the hell you say one thing and your eye's and your body says another? What is it you want John?" Natalie asked him

"You! I want you, more than friends, more than lovers, forever type stuff, but I know it's not possible, we're friends, you've made that very clear."

" No John you've made that very clear." Natalie said and she walked over towards Michael and Ron as they came out of the men's room. Natalie apologized to Ron. Michael told her his nose wasn't broken but he needed to continue to put ice on it, Natalie helped to walk Ron outside so she could take him home, before they left the bar completely they walked past John, Natalie briefly looked up and into his eye's but then looked away to help Ron out to the car. John stood watching as she drove off with Ron; Michael came over to John with a smirk on his face.

"What Mikey? I'm not in the mood for games"

"Nothing, nothing really but...you seem to be acting like a jealous boyfriend or something when it comes to Natalie"

"We're friends Mikey, just friends, we're family too remember?"

"Alright John what ever you say, what ever you have to think to keep your distance, what ever gets you thru the night"

"Just shut up Mikey, shut up"

"A thank you might be nice I just saved your ass from a lawsuit, the only reason Ron isn't going to suing you is because I pointed out that he'd probably get to use this injured angle to his advantage with Natalie."

"What!" John said and Michael broke out in a laughing fit, Michael shook his head and walked away and went back inside to see Marcie sing, he waved to John knowing he wouldn't be coming back inside. John raced off in his car to her apartment.

John was standing outside her apartment for almost an hour waiting for her, his mind wondering if she was still with Ron Walsh and what they might be doing. Natalie approached her door and she saw him sitting on the floor up against it. He got up and looked at her.

"What took you so long?" John asked and Natalie slapped him across the face


	6. Chapter 6 Smut

ABC owns them

* * *

Chapter 6 - NC-17

"What was that for?"

"Are you kidding me? That was for being such a jerk," Natalie told him as she proceed to go up the stairs to her apartment. John followed closely behind her as he was trying to get her to turn around and say something else to him.

"Natalie please, just let me talk, I.. I .. didn't realize what I was doing" John told her as they approached her door and unlocked it.

"Can I come in?" John asked and Natalie shook her head no.

"Please, maybe we can talk this out, I realize I may have come across to strong"

"Too Strong! You punched someone for dancing with me"

"No I punched him for putting his hands on your sides and moving them back and forth, up and down! "

"This is ridiculous John, just ridiculous, that's how you dance, you touch and it wasn't bothering me so why should it bother you?"

" I don't know why it just did!... It bothers me a lot to see someone touch you, and I don't know why, maybe it's because of the case your working or because I... I.., I just don't know!" John said loudly in the hall as one of the Neighbors came out and asked Natalie if everything was alright, she told him yes and then she opened the door for them to go in. She stared into his eyes as she stood in front of him.

"John this is to complicated, I'm really not in the mood for complicated, I just came out of a complicated separation and a divorce not to long ago, hell most of my life has been complicated, I really don't need anymore complications, especially with someone I barely know"

"Natalie I don't think our friendship is a complication"

"It is when you want more, when I want more, when you're leaving in less than a week."

"Natalie"

"No John, you know what? This is okay, it's alright, even if we kiss again, even if we have sex before you go, it'll be alright, you're right it doesn't have to be a complication, just two people obviously attracted to each other having a little fun, it's probably time I change my high moral standards anyways, look at where they've gotten me in life so far. So..., I can do this, I can be attracted to you, we can go around the block a few times and then I won't have to worry about anything else, it's not like we're in Love or anything like" Natalie said rambling on and on till she finally stopped and looked at him, he had a strange look on his face, a look of confusion or was it disappointment, Natalie didn't waste anytime and she reached up with her hands and grabbed his head, she pulled him into a rough frenzied Kiss, at first John didn't respond but within a few seconds he grabbed her waist with his hands and pulled her body close to his.

John's mind stopped working the minute she forced her kiss on him, his need for her took over, but before that he had heard her words, he was taken back a bit, she was selling herself on this thing between them being casual. That it could be nothing more than that. Was that more about the fact that he needed to leave soon, or was she just not feeling the same things as he? At that moment he didn't care, he wanted her, he longed to touch her and he wasn't going to ignore what she was offering, he would, they would, face the consequences later what ever they might be.

They continued to urgently and deeply kiss as he pushed her up against the living room wall, he moved his hands up and down her sides till he felt a piece of her skin, his body shook as he had moved her blouse slightly up and again felt her soft silky skin underneath, he got greedy, he wanted more, he needed more, he took his hands and went under her blouse with them and gently took hold of her breasts, over her bra he squeezed them tenderly at first and then quickened his motions slightly as his thumbs perked her nipples thru her bra.

Natalie was lost in his mouth and his acts of pleasure, she didn't think, she gave in, gave in to all the desire for him she was keeping locked up inside of her. He began to touch her breasts; he flicked at her nipples over her bra and her desire for him magnified. Natalie brought her own hands to the bottom of her blouse and she pulled it up by it's hem and over her head, he stopped kissing her briefly and helped her pull it off over her head, they threw her blouse on the floor and then he wasted no time finding her breasts again with his mouth this time, over her bra he suckled her nipples till he realized her bra had a front clasp, he undid the front clasp of her bra and her large voluptuous breasts fell out of it, John looked at her for a minute to make sure she was still alright with all this and he knew she was when she grabbed him by the waist and yanked at his jeans till she opened the button, she preceded to unzip him and when she placed her warm hand inside his boxers to feel his length and his need, John shivered, he shook from her soft yet urgent touch, his arms grabbed her up by her ass and her legs wrapped around him as he walked them straight ahead into the bedroom while he passionately kissed her. He threw them on the bed and he landed on top of her, he moved slightly and pulled down her pants, and panties, John then pushed his pants and boxers all the way off of him. He moved closer to her body as he saw her eye's full of want for him, he pulled his body up close to hers slightly off of her and his mouth attacked her nipples forcibly, he took them one by one, hardness by hardness till they were erect and pointing up, Natalie arched her back up as she felt his knee come into contact with her sensitive area, John rubbed his knee up and down on her sensitive spot and he heard her moan. He looked up at her and her eyes were closed, he heard her moan a few more times as he ran his hand up her thigh resting it on his knee that was still positioned on her, he extend two fingers and inserted them into her as he felt her shudder a little on entry, he slowly moved his fingers inside her as he again took his mouth and sucked on her pointy nipples. John took a breath, he was so close and he knew it, she was so close and he knew that too. He heard her call out his name and he couldn't enjoy torturing her any longer.

"Johnnnnnnnnnn" she cried out as he pushed himself inside her center with one abrupt push, he quickly moved himself back and forth inside her pushing himself deeper as she helped him accomplish that task by grabbing his hips with her legs, squeezing him with her legs Natalie meet his actions of urgency till they both felt they orgasms come upon them, Natalie's walls tightened and spasmed till she felt nothing but pure bliss as she looked at him and saw him shudder and rid himself of his juices inside her.

John released completely into Natalie and then opened his eyes, when he did he saw she was staring at him glassy eyed. He slowly rolled off her and onto the bed next to her. He was unsure of what to do next, should he hold her like he so desperately wanted him to or did the puddles that formed in her eyes mean she already regretted this, what they had just done, the love Making they had just finished. Maybe it wasn't, maybe it wasn't even love, maybe they didn't even make love; maybe it was just sex to her, like she said earlier. He took a breath; he waited to see what action she took, what her next action would be to what had just occurred between them. They lay next to each other in her bed silent, neither spoke nor did their bodies touch. Then John saw Natalie roll over on her side away from him and he knew, he knew what it meant for her, sex. John continued to lay and stare at the ceiling, he didn't want this that way, he wasn't in it for just sex, casual sex between friends but it was obvious she was. He rolled on his side facing her back still not touching her when he broke the silence.

"Natalie" he asked softly

"Yeah" she answered just as silent

"I... I.. I didn't hurt you did I?" he asked almost afraid too. They had gotten so carried away, he had gotten so carried away that he knew they were playing on the rough side.

"No, John, you didn't hurt me"

"Can I hold you then?" John asked quietly

"No, I don't think that's a good idea"

"Why? Why not if I didn't hurt you?"

"Because you holding me might hurt me more than anything we could have done in this bed" she told him softly as she closed her eye's realizing, realizing for the first time that her heart was attached, attached to him already, after only knowing him for such a short time, knowing that he was going to be gone soon. She also knew she couldn't, she couldn't let him hold her, if she did, she knew it would be worse when he walked away, when he left and went back to his life, his life that was somewhere away from Llanview.

"I think maybe you should leave, if you don't mind, I think I'd like to be alone" Natalie told him as he got confused and he slowly reluctantly got up, he found his clothes and got dressed, John walked to the door to leave, he turned towards her laying away from him as he spoke.

"I'm...I'm sorry... I'm sorry it's not what you expected," John told her and he left her apartment.


	7. Chapter 7

ABC owns them

* * *

Chapter 7

John got in his car and drove back to his Mom's house, completely forgetting they were coming back tonight he walked in and saw them with Mathew in the living room, they had picked Mathew up at his mom's house on their way home, the three of them were sitting on the couch catching up when John walked in.

"Hey baby, you're back, we've been waiting for you to get in before we went to bed, I want to tell my boy about my honeymoon" eve told him when she first saw him but then she took a good look at him and she knew something was wrong.

"Johnny is everything alright?" Eve asked as she walked over by him

"Yeah mom, just fine, I just forgot you were coming back tonight."

"John are you sure, you don't look so good son"

"Yeah I'm sure I ... I just don't know how to tell you this mom but I got called back to the DC office sooner than expected, I need to leave tonight and cut my trip short" John told Eve and Eve was of course disappointed, they all spoke for a few minutes when John gathered his stuff and left. Bo decided to go and talk to John for a few minutes while he was putting his bag in the back of his car.

"John, wait up a second. I just wanted to thank you for watching over the station, and the Foley case . I appreciate it."

"No need to Thank me Bo, I'm glad I could help."

"Well is there anything about it I should know"

"Not much, Foley hasn't approached your niece yet " John said not saying her name, he couldn't say it right now, right now he wanted to forget her name.

"Is there anything else?"

"No, I don't think so.. Oh, wait, your niece, she's been getting Manhandled a lot in the bar, I mean a lot and I think it may be affecting her, I'm not really sure how much longer she can last in that dive" John told him, he knew it might tick her off what he just told Bo but he didn't give a hoot about it, he just called it how he saw it, and he definitely saw her at the end of her rope.

"Really, do you think she might do something stupid and get herself in some sort of trouble in that place?"

"Maybe if she wants it over soon enough, she's a bit impatient your niece"

"That she is, that Natalie definitely is, you know, Natalie, she's something else, I mean I've never seen someone over come so much at such a young age. Life hasn't always been kind to her. Do you know my niece grew up in AC, not far from where you and your mom use to live."

"What?"

"Yeah, I know it's a bit confusing but Natalie just found out she was a Buchanan about six years ago, we just found out she even existed six years ago. She was kidnapped at birth and no one even knew she existed, she didn't have an easy life in AC, she hasn't had that much better of one since finding us either, I really though, we all thought things were changing for her when she and Chris fell in Love but well...well I guess we were wrong"

"She.. she never said anything about any of that"

"Oh, have you two become close?"

"Friends"

"That's good, see that's why I have such a soft spot in my heart for my niece, no matter how many times she's been down and out she's strong and she some how manages to bounce back up and usually better than ever. I'm sorry; I don't know why I went into all that. Have a safe trip back to DC and we hope to see you back for the holidays."

John got his stuff and left his Mom's place, as he drove around Llanview he looked at all the houses, all the sites, it really was a nice place, a nice town, he almost hated to leave, but he had to, he couldn't be here any longer because of what happened with them, with Natalie tonight, with the way he was starting to feel for her and with the regret he heard in her voice after they made love, had sex or what ever it would have been considered. He was just driving past the block to turn down to go to her apartment when he turned the car towards her building without even realizing it, as if his heart was driving he drove to her apartment and got out of his car. He couldn't just leave without saying goodbye, he thought and he walked to her door.

John knocked gently on her door for a few minutes and he could have sworn he heard a noise near it but when he called out her name she didn't answer him or the door.

Natalie was just getting up from the bed, she had been laying in her bed the past few hours after do left, not being able to move out of it, not wanting to move out of it, she didn't like what her heart was telling her, she was trying so hard to ignore it, she couldn't have a place in it for him already, she thought as she laid there in silence. She had just gotten up for a drink of water and was entering the kitchen when she heard a faint knocking, she had a feeling it was him even before he called her name thru the door, she stopped what she was doing and walked over by the door to be closer to him, she put her back to it and slid down to the ground and sat as she heard him speak thru it.

"Natalie, Natalie, I know you can hear me, please open the door" John asked softly but Natalie was frozen, she couldn't open it, she couldn't chance opening it and letting him in again, letting him completely in, he was a stranger, he would be living soon and going back to where it was he belonged. She held back tears as she shook her head wondering why? Why she felt like she was making a huge mistake.

"Natalie, I.. I just came by to tell you to be careful, on the assignment, I'm...I'm not going to be there and I.. well, I have to cut my trip short, I have to go back to DC for work" John said and then he took a breath, he was lying to her about having to leave early for work. He didn't feel good about the lie he told her and even his mom but what was he going to say, I'm leaving cause I'm falling in love with you and you don't want it, my love that is.

"Natalie please open the door " he softly begged her once more but she didn't. She started to move away from the door, he wouldn't put himself out there again, he tried, that was all he could do.

"Just be careful Natalie, Okay, just don't get hurt" John said as he walked down the hall of her building and left town.

Natalie sat by the door for a few hours just glassy eyed, she refused herself to cry, she wouldn't let herself, finally she got up off the floor, dusted herself off and went over to the mirror on the wall in the Living room, she looked at herself in it.

"It would have been so much worse if he had held me, so much worse" she told herself and she went into bed.

John drove back to DC, it took him longer cause of traffic on hwy 95. He was trying to keep his mind off of her but he just couldn't. His mind kept wondering to what ifs. What if she wanted more from him, what if he told her how he was feeling, what if he decided to stay in Llanview, quit his job and stay near his family, near her, would that have made a difference in the way she was feeling, what if he just decided right here, right now to forget her, forget the week he spent happy, happy for the first time in a long time, although they argued a lot in that weeks time they connected, she seem to open up to him, and he to her. What if he just went on with his life let he always had. His lonely dark life.

The next morning Natalie walked into the station already in a bad mood, she was grumpy by the fact that she didn't get enough sleep last night cause he was all she thought about last night, he left town and she instantly missed him. She shook her head clear of him for the moment as she saw her uncle was back at work and she went into his office to talk with him.

"Hey, how was the Honeymoon?" Natalie asked as she gave him a kiss on the cheek

"Great! Really , really, Great!"

"Okay, ick! You don't have to say anything else about it" Natalie said and she laughed as did he.

"How's things with you? With the case? "

"Fine, I'm scheduled to work at the Red Pelican tonight and I'm hoping to get Izzy to trust me a little more, maybe he'll even decide to make a move or something" Natalie told her uncle as he motioned for her to sit.

"Natalie honey, I really need to talk to you about the case, I'm pulling you off it"

"What! You can't do that, I've been working so hard on it, why would you even think about pulling me off of it?"

"I heard it was getting to you, emotionally, and Honey I know how impulsive you can be when you get impatient for something to happen, I don't want to see you do something stupid and get hurt"

"Who said it?"

" Uncle Bo who said it was getting to me?"

"John Mcbain, but he said cause he was watching out for you, he said you guys were friends"

"No, not anymore we're not"


	8. Chapter 8

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* * *

Chapter 8

"Uncle Bo please, I'm fine, I can do this, I'm not going to get impatient and do something stupid"

"Natalie honey, John is a seasoned FBI agent and if he said he was worried about you getting impatient and doing something stupid than I need to believe him."

"He didn't say that because he was worried I'd get hurt, he wants me off the case"

"Why? Why would he want that?"

"Because it bothers him, it... never mind. But Uncle Bo, tell me what I can do to prove to you that I'll be patient, that I won't get hurt. Tell me"

Natalie begged her Uncle for a few more days, Bo finally agreed to let Natalie work it for the next week, he would keep on top of things and if after that week he felt she couldn't handle it himself, he would pull her off of it, and that he didn't want to hear her complain about it.

-

John was sitting in his apartment the night before he was to go back to work. He had gotten home from Llanview almost a week ago and he hadn't done anything but sleep, eat and think about her, Natalie. He tried all week to get her out, out of his head but everything he tried, none of it worked, every waking thought came back to her and her amazing self. Even when he slept he felt himself dreaming about her, what it would be like to make love with her again, what it would fell like to actually hold her after they made love. He knew it was a losing battle and decided to turn in the bed early.

It was almost three am when Natalie drove home from the Red Pelican, Izzy had been there tonight with a few big wigs as he called them, big wigs she had never seen before, they were being different tonight, acting different as if something was up, they sent a lot of time in the back room all three of them. She tried so desperately to snoop and around and to get back there to see what was going on but she just couldn't find out anything. Natalie pulled into her parking spot and she got out of her car, she flashed back a week ago to when he would follow her home and make sure she got home safe. She smiled a bittersweet smile as she thought of him, what was he doing? Was he on assignment somewhere? Was he safe? She shook her heading wondering how she could have fallen and fallen so deeply and so fast for someone she barely knew, for John Mcbain. She walked into the house and went to bed for the night.

DC FBI headquarters

"Hey Boss, Tony says you have a new assignment for us, something about Gerardo Martino"

"Yup, I just got word He's back to business and this time he's selling out of a bar, I need you two to go undercover at a bar called the Red Pelican in..."

"Llanview Pa" John said finishing his sentence

Two nights later Natalie was drinking a soda as she played pool at Rodi's, it was some time around nine O'clock and she was trying to relax before she had to go into the Red Pelican. Natalie was alone tonight just like every night this week, she wasn't up for any company, Rex wanted her to go to the club so they could spend some time together but she hadn't wanted to actually she hadn't wanted to do anything of late, nothing, nothing but play pool since he left.

John drove thru Llanview and he knew exactly where to find her, he knew if she was still working the Izzy Foley case that she wouldn't be going into the bar till around ten, and he knew, well he guessed that she would be here, here at Rodi's, he walked into the bar. John looked around the bar and he saw her by the pool table, his heart skipped a beat, she looked so beautiful he thought, she was so beautiful. John saw her bend over the table facing away from him and the door, she leaned in and lined up her shot, John leaned close to her ear right as she was about to make the shot.

"Hey" John said softly in his raspy voice, she had heard him as soon as she was mid stream into her shot and she scratched. She had heard his voice and she stood her position motionless after the scratch, she didn't want to dare look behind her in fear that it was all her imagination.

"Natalie" John said as he watched her become unstuck. She turned slowly as if afraid to actually look at him, and then when she did their eye's met. It was an intense stare that went on for almost ten minutes as their eyes focused and refocused on each other.

"You're back" Natalie said softly as her eye's filed a bit with water.

"Yeah, I'm back" John said matching her soft tone, he watched her carefully, not sure if she was happy he was back or sad, he couldn't read her expression. A few more minutes went by and he asked permission to play. She said yes and they played a few games, the question of why he was back never came up. They just enjoyed each other's company. After about the fourth game Natalie while still in a fog, not believing, believing that he was here had forgotten about heading over to the Red Pelican. Natalie's cell phone rang and she answered it, it was Harry and he asked where the hell she was, she covered by telling him she was running late and told him she'd be there in a few minutes.

Natalie turned to John as she hung up her phone.

"I've gotta go, I'm late" Natalie told John as she faced him and stared again into his baby blue eye's.

"The Red Pelican?" John asked already knowing the answer, she shook her head yes.

"I'll...I'll see ya Okay?" Natalie told him as she gathered her uniform that she had brought with her tonight to Rodi's.

"I.. I .. I can't believe your back, I mean, I didn't think you'd be coming back an so soon" Natalie said in amazement, she smiled her first genuine smile since he left, John walked over closer to her, he saw the expression on her face, she could read this one, she was happy to see him. He thought about her words for a few minutes and it hit him, she thought he had come back for her, did she think he came back to be with her, so they could be together? If he would have known that was all it was going to take, to do, to say, to promise, he would have done that the night they made love, the night he left.

John moved even closer to her and his hand tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. His hand lingered on her face as he caressed it, he leaned in slowly for a soft kiss. Natalie accepted his tender kiss and she returned it back just as tenderly. John backed up a bit after they kissed. He kept his hand under her chin.

"Natalie.. we have to talk" John told her knowing he had to tell her about the FBI taking over the investigation at the Red Pelican, he needed to give her the heads up for tomorrow it would happen. He also knew he needed to be honest with her about why he was back, although he would have come back if he thought they had a chance but she had made things not seem to be that way before he left.

"John" Natalie said breathy as her eyes filed with Desire for him, she licked her dry lips and he couldn't resist, he went in for another slow tender kiss. They were still kissing when Natalie's phone rang, she pulled away and she didn't have to look at the caller Id, she knew it was Harry.

"I really have to go John, I'll see ya tomorrow"

"Natalie we really have to talk"

"Tomorrow John, tomorrow, I'm very late" She told him as she ran out the door uniform in hand.

The Red Pelican

"Natasha you're late" Izzy told Natalie as she ran into the bar, she still wasn't dressed yet.

"I Know, I'm sorry Izzy, really sorry, I got hung up at my other job, remember I told you about having the two jobs" Natalie said to Izzy as she put her stuff behind the bar

"You know I could probably help you out with your financial situations, then you wouldn't have to work to jobs, then you wouldn't have to be late for me, my place, you know I have a lot of patrons that like to look at you, when you're not here, my business isn't as good" Izzy told Natalie in his sleazy tone as he eyed her up and down, he took his hand and rubbed it down her back till it came to the small of her back, it took all of Natalie not to throw up her earlier dinner, he seem to be getting off touching her clothed back.

"And how could you do that?" Natalie asked him licking her licks, reeling him in, thinking tonight must be her lucky night, first John comes back tonight, back to her, and now Izzy's finally hinting around to what she had been waiting for him to. She was finally catching a break in the case and soon she would crack it.

"Lets just say, if you stick with me, you won't be hungry any longer" Izzy said starting to salivate at the mouth.

"Go get dressed " Izzy told her as she walked into the back to get dressed, she noticed he followed her, she turned to close the door and his foot held it open so he could watch her dress. Natalie stood staring at him, he wouldn't let her close the door and she knew she'd have to do this to gain more of his trust. She began to undress in front of him, then when her clothes were off she started to put her uniform on, she started with her pantyhose when Izzy stopped her.

Det. Danny was in the surveillance van alone, he had sent Harry out for coffee, things seemed slow, quiet, last thing he heard was Izzy telling Natalie to go get dressed then things went silent, he assumed she was dressing with all the quietness.


	9. Chapter 9

ABC owns them

* * *

Chapter 9

John walked into the police station, he knew it was late but he took a chance that Bo would still be in t he staition, he needed to explain to him about what he and the FBI would be doing at the Red Pelican, that they were investigating the bar and all it's illegal activates now, that the LPD had to stay out of it. he walked towards Bo's office and he knocked, Bo saw it was him and he smiled, he told him to come in and they started to discuss all that pertained to the case and they even engaged in small talk for a few minutes.

Surveillance Van

Harry had returned back from getting the coffee, he had been gone about fifteen minutes, he put the coffee on the counter where all the equipment was and he noticed something, silence.

"What's going on? Where is she? " Harry asked as he heard nothing, absolutely nothing.

"She's changing, so it's quiet" Danny told him nonchalantly

"How long has it been quiet?" Harry questioned having an uneasy feeling about it

"Since a few minutes after you left" Danny said thinking it wasn't along time, but in fact it was at least fifteen minutes

"I was gone more than fifteen minutes, something's wrong, it doesn't take her fifteen minutes to change" Harry said as he jumped out of the van

"I'm going in to find her, call the commissioner" Harry told the acting chief of Detectives

Danny called Bo's cell and he heard Bo pick up.

"Commissioner, we've lost contact with Natalie, it's been at least fifteen minutes" Danny told Bo as he heard Bo scream "What!"

John watched as Bo picked up his phone, he watched and saw the man get a grim worried look on his face.

"what do you mean you've lost contact with my niece, what was she doing when you last heard her?" Bo asked Danny over the phone.

John heard Bo's words to Danny and he started to get upset himself, he started to worry, he walked closer to Bo as he spoke, Bo saw John's concern and interest and put Danny on speaker phone.

"She was going to change, her wire must have been malfunctioning, Harry went into the club to find her" Danny told Bo and John over the phone

"I'm sending cars over there right now" Bo screamed into the phone as he turned to John, they both looked at each other as they heard Danny on the other end of the phone.

"OH.MY.GOD. " Danny said into the phone and it came across the speaker and john swore his heart stopped beating.

"OMG. Natalie, Natalie talk to me, commissioner I need an ambulance ASAP, officer hurt, she's hurt." Danny said as he saw her.

John ran out of the station, he ran so fast he didn't even remember how he unlocked his car; he didn't stop for any red lights. He just raced over to the Red Pelican. John arrived at the bar just in time to see the ambulance racing passed him, he finally came down from his fear long enough to want answers, he stopped at the van, he went right over to Harry.

"What happened? Is she alright?" John said and Harry shook his head not knowing what to say to him, they had blown it, he had blown it, he never should have went for coffee, there's suppose to be two men on at all times in the van. Harry looked at Danny as if asking if they should tell him. Harry saw the look in John's eyes and he knew if he didn't tell him he would probably beat the crap out of them.

"We.. lost contact and I.. I went in to find her, I couldn't, she wasn't there, I'm not sure what happened next I was coming out to tell Chief Travis and I saw her walking towards the van, barely walking, she looked like she could barely walk." Harry told John as John's expressions started to get more grim by the moment

"What happened to her!" John demanded an answer from one of them or from both of them and he wasn't not getting it.

"I saw her first, I was on the phone with the commissioner, she.. she was bruised up , her arms, her legs, even her face, there was even...even some blood but I'm not sure from where. She ... she..." Chief Travis, Danny told John as he couldn't bring himself to say the last part, he didn't even want to think what the last part may have meant, what it most likely meant.

"She what! Just say it!" John yelled at him, he was losing patience on top of freaking out about her.

"She barely had any clothes on" Danny said almost frightened about what he was saying, frightened that something bad happened to Natalie and it was all his fault.

"Did you see him in the bar? Where is he?" john asked and they knew he meant Izzy

"He's gone, when I went into the bar he was already gone, he must have left thru the back." Harry told John as he watched John get even more enraged.

John looked at both Harry and Danny as if he wanted to kill them, because he did, their incompetent may have cost Natalie a lot, a lot of undue pain and harm. He started to move towards Danny as if going for his throat when he regained himself and needed to she her for himself; he needed to be there for her, if she would let him that was. He stepped back a few feet and was about to turn and quickly leave when he left the two of them with a harsh warning.

"I'll have your badges for this, you two better be looking for new employment" John told them as he got into his car quickly and raced towards the hospital.


	10. Chapter 10

ABC owns them

* * *

Chapter 10

John ran into the hospital, he took a look around and ran over to the near by desk in the emergency room. He walked passed five people waiting in line to ask the receptionist something and he spoke on top of a man asking a question.

"I need to know Where Natalie Buchanan is" John said with urgency in his voice

"Excuse me sir, I'm helping someone"

"This if FBI business, where can I find Natalie Buchanan, she was just brought in by Ambulance!" John asked the receptionist hostile, he was impatient to see her and he wasn't going to let anybody or anything get in his way. The nurse started looking Natalie's name up on her computer when John looked away briefly to see Michael walk out of one of the rooms.

"Mikey" John said and Michael looked up from his chart to see John.

"John, what are you doing here, I thought you were in DC"

"Not now Mikey, have you seen her, she was brought here, have you seen Natalie?" John asked again getting impatient

"Yeah...I...I've seen her" Michael told John reluctantly

"Well is she alright? Where is she, I need to see her, I need to make sure she's alright" John told Michael as he looked around the hallway, he noticed that Bo walked in followed by a few other people that he remembered seeing at the wedding, he assumed they were her family. Bo walked over to John and Michael as the rest of Natalie's family spoke with the receptionist.

"Michael how is she?" Bo asked Michael and Michael looked at John. Michael wasn't sure how he was going to tell John and even Bo what he had found from his quick examination of Natalie. Michael knew John had gotten close to Natalie, he knew he cared for her, which he thought was a good thing because she was going to need people who cared for her right now, now with all that she had been thru.

"Michael, tell us" John said, as he looked Michael strength in the face.

" I examined her when they brought her in but it was brief, she wouldn't let me give her a complete exam."

"What? Michael where is she? Is she not here?" John asked confused

"She left, I left the room for a moment after trying to convince her to let me...let me... let me do a rape kit and she was gone when I came back" Michael told john and Bo as he saw their faces get white as ghosts.

"Michael did she... was she... did you see signs of..." John started mumbling out the words but he couldn't form any real sentences at the moment, he was shocked, well shocked wasn't the word because after speaking with Harry he knew it was a possibility.

"I don't know John, I really just don't know if she was" Michael told John shaking his head slightly

"Then what exactly do you know?" John asked

"I know she was beat pretty bad, there's evidence of bruises on her arms, her legs and even...even her thigh. She also had a busted lip which was probably caused by a back handed slap." Michael told him all of what he knew, John walked away briefly from Michael as he was telling them and he started to pace back and forth, he felt his fists clench and he wanted so bad to punch something, to kill something, to kill Izzy Foley. Bo started to open up his mouth and say something when Vicky walked over to the three of them.

"Would someone like to tell me what's going on with my daughter? No one here will give me any information," Vicky said as after she approached.

"Vicky, she .. she isn't here; she left " Bo told him

"And you don't know where she's gone?" Vicky asked looking at Bo, then she looked towards Michael, and then she continued to look and she saw John.

"Mrs. Buchanan, I know you don't know me but.." John started to say to Vicky as her words cut his off

"It's Davidson, not Buchanan and I know who you are, you're Eve's other son, I saw you at the wedding with my Natalie, you put the garter on her leg" Vicky told him

"Yes, that was me. What I was going to say was that Natalie and have become good Friends and I need to know if there is somewhere she would go or liked to go when she was scared or upset, she's most likely somewhere like that, I doubt she's at her apartment." John told Vicky

"That's right Vicky I agree with John that Natalie probably didn't go home." Bo chimed in, Vicky thought about where it was that Natalie felt safe and she remembered.

"The cabin on Llantano mountain, The Buchanan Cabin" Vicky told them as she barely got the words out before John asked someone to tell him how to get there.

"Wait a minute, I'll be going to find her or one of her brothers, I really don't know you, you might make her feel worse." Vicky stated the fact to him when although John understood where she was coming from he wasn't asking her permission nor was there any way in Hell he wasn't going to that cabin.

"Mrs. Davidson I understand where you are coming from but I don't need your permission to go find her myself, I care very much about Natalie and I won't do or say anything to make things worse on her, so I'm going" John told her as he started to walk towards the hospital doors. He heard Vicky call to him to call when he found her and he nodded his head yes as he left and headed to the Buchanan cabin.

Forty-Five minutes later John arrived at the Cabin, he knew it was the right one for it was the only one for miles. He noticed her car the minute he drove up, he went up to the door and was about to knock when he decided against it, what if it startled her, what if she had just fallen asleep. He walked over to the window that looked directly into the living room of the cabin and he saw her.

Natalie sat on the couch unaware of where she was, well she knew cause she drove herself there after leaving the hospital and sneaking back by the bar for her car but she was in a fog, a haze, she couldn't really focus on anything and that in this case was a good thing cause if she did she would be a mess, worse than a mess, if there was any such thing worse than a mess. She was freezing, beyond freezing, she felt ice cold, she had a blanket draped over her that the medics had covered her clothes, her little pieces of clothes that were left after everything happened, after...after.. after. She stopped herself, she stopped her thoughts before she lost it all, all her strength, or what was left of her strength after she had to fight for her life, fight to get out of Izzy's, to get out with something left, something left cause so much was taken from her tonight. She pulled the blanket over herself a little tighter and she hugged her knees into her chest trying so desperately not to feel.

John continued watching her for a few minutes for he didn't know what exactly to do for her to help her. He noticed she looked cold, he didn't smell wood burning so he looked around the property and found a woodpile, he gathered some up, and then he walked into the cabin without knocking with the wood in his arms.

Natalie heard something, someone and she looked up slowly to see John walking in with wood in his hands, their eye's met briefly and she watched as he walked over to the fireplace to start a fire, with out words he made her a fire for warmth, after a few minutes he looked away from the fire and walked over to her. He took his arm and tried to guide her up with it to help her to the fire when she backed away quickly. As soon as his arm was in contact with her she pulled back as if afraid, he cursed himself knowing that he should have known that would happen, she was afraid to be touched and even by him.

John walked back to the fireplace as her eyes and her chin went down to her knees. He watched her shiver still from the cold.

"Why don't come by the fire, it'll keep you warm" he told her as she looked up at him with glassy eye's.

"I won't touch you, I promise " John told her and he saw her debating it in her head

" Can you hold me?" Natalie asked him as she started to get up and walk over to him, he met her half way and he softly put his arm around her shoulders and guided her to the floor, they sat down on the floor and he gently pulled her closer to his chest and he held her.


	11. Chapter 11

ABC owns them

* * *

Chapter 11

John held Natalie gently in front of the fireplace, he wasn't going to ask about what happened tonight, he wouldn't pressure her to tell him, he knew she was in so much pain and she would talk when she needed to, when she was ready. He continued to hold her as he felt her fall asleep, he trailed his hand gently down her arm to pull the blanket that had fallen off of it back on. He couldn't help but notice them, the bruises, the marks, he tried real hard to keep his anger under control, but he was having such a hard time of it. He was angry with everyone, with the whole situation, with the fact that she put her life on the line to try and stop a bad man from doing horrific things and she became one of his victims, and that the men, the trained individuals who were suppose to be helping her, watching her, protecting her, had failed her.

John heard her whimper out in her sleep and he shook his head clear of his anger for those men, for now, because he knew now, right here in this place and at this time things were about Natalie, helping her how ever she wanted and needed.

Natalie continued to sleep and he held her, he had dreamt about holding her so often over the past week but now he was, but as good as if felt to have his arms around her, as right as it felt, the circumstances were all wrong and he knew it. He looked at the top of her head and then he placed a small kiss on it, he would hold her like this for as long as it took for her to be right, and then he would hold her forever, he would never let anything else bad every happen to her again.

Sometime about an hour later John lifted her up while she was still asleep and placed her on the bed in the next room, she didn't wake and for that he was thankful. He covered her up and looked at the large purple bruise that was on her cheek, he skimmed it gently with his finger, when he got his hands on Izzy Foley, he was going to strangle him with his bare hands. He bit his tongue and tried to calm himself down. He wanted so bad to lie next to her in the bed and continue to hold her as she slept but thought it best for him to sleep in the chair next to the bed, John slept in the chair next to the bed when he was woke up by her screaming.

" Nooooooooooooo! Get off of me, get off of me!" John heard her scream out in her sleep as she jumped up to a sitting position

"Natalie, it's okay, it's okay babe, no ones gonna hurt you, no one I'm here, I'm here" John told her as he sat on the bed and pulled her body close to his and he held her. After a few minutes he leaned them both back on the pillows and he held her on his chest before he asked her, before he spoke.

"Do you want to talk about it? Maybe it'll help" John told her softly as he addressed the subject to see if she was ready to talk.

"I don' t know if I'm ready yet, I don't... I don't think I can, not yet anyways," Natalie told him as she draped her arm across his chest and pulled herself as close to him as possible.

"There's no rush, when you're ready then, whenever you're ready I'll be here to listen, I'll be here for you" John reassured her and she closed her eye's and tried to again get some sleep.

"Thank you," she mumbled to him faintly as she fell back to sleep.

Morning came quick and John woke first, he pulled himself out of her grip carefully not to wake her and he went inside to she if there was anything to make her for breakfast.

Natalie woke with an awful headache and pains over most of her body, she sat up and looked around the room and didn't see John. She closed her eye's remembering some of what happened to her last night, what she was so anxiously trying to forget. She climbed out of bed slowly not to cause herself anymore pain and she searched the draws of the dresser in the room for clothes, anything, she needed to get these shredded things off of her, she needed desperately to shower and rid herself of his touch, of his actions, of Izzy Foley the slime who made her weak last night, who made her like this, this morning. She found clothes and headed towards the bathroom.

"Hey, you're awake, I made you breakfast" John told her as he entered the room and saw her entering the bathroom. Natalie turned and looked towards him, but never met his eyes.

"No thank you, I'm not hungry," she told him still avoiding his eye's. John saw her eyes couldn't meet his and he knew she was embarrassed by everything, embarrassed by the fact that the operation went bad. Did she think this was her fault? He asked himself and then he saw she had clothes in her hands.

"Natalie what are you doing?" John asked as he slowly approached her

"I need to shower, I need it all gone, off of me" Natalie told him

"You can't, you know you can't "

"Oh, yes I can, I need him gone, I need to be clean again"

"Natalie you know if you shower you'll wash away evidence, the evidence to put him away for this, away for doing what he did to you "

"And what do you think he did to me? Huh? What do you think he did to me that me showering would wash away?" Natalie asked him boldly

"Natalie" John replied to her questions softly

"No, John tell me since you seem to be an expert on what happened to me last night, tell me what you think he did to me!" Natalie demanded as she walked a little closer to John. She looked him in the eyes this time, straight in the eyes. Her eyes were glassy and he knew his were starting to glass up himself when he said it softly and quietly.

"I think he raped you" John said as he saw her eye's close and a few tears escape them as she kept them closed. He came closer to her and put his hands on her shoulders.

"Natalie, did he rape you? Did Izzy Foley rape you?" John asked her and he saw her open her eye's still shedding her tears. She looked right at him.

"I don't know, I just don't know" Natalie told him softly as he pulled her head close to his chest. John brushed her hair with his fingers as he spoke to her.

"We need to find out Natalie, you know the tests have to be done within twenty four hours for the results to be accurate, you're a cop Natalie and you know that. Let me take you back to the hospital." John told her as he continued to hold her up against his chest

"No!" she said firmly as she pushed herself off of his chest and ran into the bathroom. John went over by the bathroom door but didn't hear the water running, he heard her crying and he could sense she was up against the back of the door. He put his hand to the door as if touching hers before he spoke.

"Why don't you talk to me, tell me about it, maybe you won't need to get that test after all, maybe it'll help you to figure out if you were or weren't." John told her thru the door

"Maybe " he heard her say quietly

"Then come out of there, Natalie, come out and tell me and let me help you," John told her as he tried to open the door and it was still locked.

"No, I'll tell you but... I...I can't face you, I'll tell you it all but thru the door, I can't watch your face, I...I can't see your disappointment in me when I tell you what I did wrong, how it went so bad, so ugly and it was all my fault"

"How ever you want to tell me Natalie, what ever you want to do, but just know I could never be disappointed in you and this is not your fault" John told her as he heard her begin to tell him what happened.

"I went into the bar, he was flirting with me as usual, I was late so he made a remark about helping me out financially so I didn't have to work my other job and be late for his place, I... thought it was going well, I mean, it really seemed like it was going to be the night, he was going to proposition me about sleeping with clients and I would say no, and he would be caught, caught before he tried to kill me like the others, but then... then I went inside to change...and.. and well... he followed me... and he wanted to watch, so, I... I undressed in front of him, that to me wasn't a big deal, it's just clothes right? I knew I had back up, the finest back up right, I trusted they were listening, and then when I had my clothes off, it went ugly... horribly ugly and fast, and no one came, no Harry, no Danny, no one." Natalie told him all of that and then she stopped to take a breath.

"Natalie tell me what he did to you? You have to say it babe, not just to build a case against him but so you can move on from this eventually." John told her thru the door.

"That's it John, I don't think I can ever move on from this, not eventually, not ever"

"You can, you'll see, you will, I'll help you to do it, to move on, what did Izzy do to you next?"

" He...he... he..." Natalie said and then she paused


	12. Chapter 12

ABC Owns them

* * *

Chapter 12

"He...he...he...grabbed me" Natalie told John as she her shook just remembering last night

Natalie continued to sit behind the bathroom door and tell John what had happened to her, the facts that she resisted Izzy when he put his hands on her as she was trying to get her uniform on, the fact that he got pissed and hit her because she was fighting him, not allowing him to touch her, she also told John of how she was waiting the whole time for her back up that never seemed to come, how finally she had gotten out of his grip and started to run when he grabbed her by her hair from behind and yanked her back towards him. Then Natalie went on to tell him that when he hit her that last time, the time after she ran and almost got away from him that he knocked her out, she couldn't remember anything else but waking up and not knowing how long she was out for. She didn't see him when she woke, she grabbed the remainder of her clothes that were thrown around the room and she ran out the back door quickly not hanging any longer to look for Izzy, and that was when Danny saw her.

Natalie turned the knob of the bathroom door and she opened it slowly, John heard it opening and he looked into her teary blue eyes as she walked out.

"See, I just don't know, I don't know where he went and if he...if he.. Well I just don't know" Natalie told him looking strength into his eyes. He reached for her hand and interlocked their fingers

"We need to find out Natalie, we...you need to know" John told her, she looked down briefly at the floor and then back up again into his eye's.

"Will you come with me?" she asked him and he gave her a small smile

"Of course I will, I'm not letting you go thru this alone" John told her and he saw her smile weakly

"Why? Why would you say something like that, why would you do all these things and say all these things to me last night, this morning, I mean... I .. don't understand, we don't know each other that well, I think we've only known each other a little over two weeks. Why?" she asked him, John brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it gently.

"Because" John said and then moved closer to her as he spoke, he pressed his hand to her cheek and caressed it.

"Because my heart doesn't lie, it doesn't lie Natalie and it's telling me that there's something between us, that we can have something amazing together, so amazing that I hope it'll help to erase all the pain for you, all the pain of your past and from last night." John said and he contemplated whether he should kiss her or not, he wanted to so bad but he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. Natalie looked into his beautiful blue eye's and she was starting to feel some of her straight come back as if he was giving her some of his, some of his strength, he was strong and when he said he would help her thru this she believed him, he was already helping by just being here with her and letting her talk. She tried to ignore it but she couldn't, she wanted to feel his lips on hers, she leaned in and softly kissed his lips. John softly and slowly kissed her back, as they finished their kiss they let their lips linger on each other's for a few seconds until he pulled out of it.

"Are you ready?" he asked and she shook her head yes, she threw the flannel shirt she found in the dresser over her torn blouse and they left the cabin and headed towards the hospital.

John and Natalie arrived at the hospital almost an hour later, they walked into the emergency room to look for Michael, when they saw him they approached him. Natalie herself told Michael that she was ready, that she needed to know the truth, Michael asked Nat if she wanted a female Dr or nurse knowing that this was a sensitive subject and knowing that this might he awkward for her. Natalie thought about it for a few minutes and decided no, she knew Michael yes, but she trusted him. Michael told her what room they would be going into for the exam but before Nat walked away with Michael she turned to John, she looked into his eyes as he spoke to her.

"I'll be right here when you done, I'm not going anywhere," John told her as he grabbed her hand gently and kissed the back of it.

"Thank you" Natalie told him as she slowly pulled her hand away. Natalie started to walk towards the exam room with Michael following behind her when John stopped Michael briefly as he followed Natalie.

"Mikey" John told Mike as mike turned back to look at him

"I Know John, I know, I'll take care of her, I'll take good care of her, don't worry" Michael told John as he left John waiting for them in the hall.

John paced the hall waiting, waiting and praying that things were better than he thought, better than they thought, although she would still be scared from the beating that Izzy gave her if she was raped it would be so much worse, so much worse. He closed his eye's for a few minutes as he stopped pacing and stood up against the wall in the corner, when he opened his eye's he saw her standing as quiet as a mouse in front of him. He looked into her eyes and he couldn't tell, he just couldn't tell, then he saw what seemed to be a bit of a smile but not a full-blown smile but not a frown, and she wasn't crying. He watched as her smile got a little bigger. It was good news, he knew it by her smile, he pulled her into his chest and hugged her tightly, and he swayed them back and forth in his arms.

"I can't believe I'm all beat up and I look like shit, I've been thru some sort of hell and I can't help but smile, smile and be grateful, almost happy it wasn't anything more, it wasn't anything like that" Natalie said as John continued to sway them back and forth.

"Thank you, it would have been so much worse if I never knew" Natalie told him as she broke out of his hold on her.

"Can you take me home to my apartment so I can shower and maybe get some more sleep, I'm pretty tired again and I know I still have to give Bo my statement some time soon." Natalie asked and John nodded his head yes, they went to walk out but stopped briefly when they saw Michael come out of the exam room.

"Thanks, Mikey, thanks for everything" John told him as he looked at his little brother.

"You're welcome Johnny, you're very welcomed. Make sure she takes it easy and gets some sleep" Michael told him and they nodded and left the hospital.

John and Nat arrived at her apartment, they went up the three flights of stairs and when they walked to her door John was the first to notice the FBI agents, his colleagues waiting for them at her door. He knew what they were there for; they were there to interrogate her on what happened with Izzy and where he was. He shook his head knowing this wasn't going to go well, knowing that he hadn't even gotten a chance to tell her the FBI was now involved in this investigation.

"Agent Hower, Agent smith, Ms. Buchanan won't be talking to you until she gets some sleep, you can meet her at the police station in a few hours." John told them before they opened up their mouths.

"John, the chief says he wants information from her now, it can't wait till later" John's colleague and friend Kenny told him. Natalie looked between the men and she was confused to what was going on.

"What's going on John?" Natalie asked him when before he could talk agent Hower jumped in to.

"Ms. Buchanan, I'm agent Hower and this is Agent Smith, the two of us along with Agent Mcbain are handling the Foley case and we need you to answer some questions and right now." Agent Hower told Natalie and then she looked away from him and directed her attention to John.

"Where you ever going to tell me?"

"I was trying to at Rodi's but then you had to leave and then with everything, I didn't want to put more on your plate." John told her as he then took her aside.

"You don't have to talk to them now, wait till later when you're rested, lets go in and we can talk" he whispered to Natalie as she took her key out and started to open her lock

"Ms Buchanan, you really need to talk to us now, we need information" agent Hower told her as he saw her start to go in her apartment. Agent Hower approached Natalie a little to quickly and she jumped back a bit when he did. Something that John couldn't ignore.

"Back off Hower, we'll meet you at the station later" John told him as he pushed him away from her.

"We're just doing our job John and you know how important this info is to our case, so maybe you should do your part and get your little girlfriend to cooperate, maybe your career might be on the line if you don't" Agent Hower told John and Agent smith, walked in between the two as he saw John move closer to the other agent, John wasn't one to take threats lightly.

"I said back off and leave her alone, she'll give you a statement later" John told him and he turned towards the open door of Nat's apartment as he walked in to see she had already gone in the shower, he closed the door behind him and took a seat on the couch. A few minutes later he heard the water shut off and she came out in a bathrobe.

"Hey, feel a little bit better?" John asked as he saw her drying her hair with the towel. She didn't say a word and walked over to him.

"You didn't come back here because of me, because of your family, you came back here for work. Am I wrong John, tell me I'm wrong" Natalie said as she looked into his eye's

"I can't you're right." John told her back not wanting to lie again to her

"And let me guess when you left you didn't really have to go back to work did you?"

"No, I didn't" John said as Natalie turned and walked away from him towards the window

"So why did you lie again? And did you just say all those things to me in the cabin to make me feel better cause I was in a bad place. What was all that crap about your heart not lying cause maybe your heart doesn't but your brain and your mouth sure do"


	13. Chapter 13

ABC Owns Them

* * *

**Chapter 13**

"So why did you lie again? And did you just say all those things to me in the cabin to make me feel better cause I was in a bad place. What was all that crap about your heart not lying cause maybe your heart doesn't but your brain and your mouth sure do."

Natalie told John as she slowly turned around to look at him. John felt crushed, her words, she seem to be upset, upset to the fact that he told a few baby lies, lies to cover the way she was making him feel. He felt frustrated all of a sudden, how was he going to explain it to her, he wasn't good with words, but he saw her attitude towards him change just a little, he would have to find the words. John began to open up his mouth not really knowing how to tell her when she spoke first.

"You know what? That's not fair," she said trying to bring herself out of the disappointment she felt when she realized he only came back for work and that he had originally lied to her about why he left.

"It doesn't matter that you lied, or why you came back, I mean, we're just friends, nothing more, nothing less and you were a really good friend to me last night, this morning, I really needed it and you were there for me, so lets forget it, Okay?" Natalie told him trying to make herself believe the words coming from her mouth, the words that they were nothing more than friends. It wasn't an easy task trying to believe it, but what was the alternative, fall in love with a man she barely knew and that lived far away. She shook her head thinking to herself that she wasn't going to chance her heart with falling in Love with John Mcbain.

"Natalie, I...I'm ... I think my heart is falling in Love with you, and... and it doesn't lie" John told her as he walked closer to her.

"John, it may not lie but does it get confused? Because we barely know each other for it to be thinking that. It's impossible to be in Love with someone after only knowing them such a short period of time." Natalie stated trying so desperately to twist things to make him think what he was feeling wasn't love, trying so hard to push the feelings that she was having for him down, to bury them, bury them in a place where she could never retrieve them so she would never get hurt by them.

"No, Natalie. It's not impossible" they both stood silent for a few minutes after John spoke, he walked over to her, looked straight into her eye's and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"We shouldn't be discussing this now, you've been thru so much, you need to rest" he told her tenderly and she backed up a bit and slowly.

"I'm fine John, I'm starting to feel better and I think we need to get this out in the open before...before.. Well we just do." Natalie said as she stood a few feet away from him at this point.

"I think we should still be friends and that's it." Natalie told him as he started to run his hand thru his hair. He moved a little closer to her before he spoke. While still looking into her eye's he told her.

"Natalie, I can't just be your friend, I want us to be more, with every piece of me I want us and know we could be so much more." John said those tender words and then his hand caressed the cheek of her face.

"I know you feel it too, don't just ignore it, Cause I can't" John told her and he leaned in and gently kissed her lips. Natalie stood frozen with her eyes closed for a few minutes after he kissed her.

"Lets just try it, Natalie lets just try, Please?" he asked as her eyes were still closed. Natalie opened her eyes and backed away from him, she walked over towards the window again and looked outside.

"I don't think I can..I mean.. I'm afraid to, to give us a try at something more, something that could hurt me so bad... see, this is how I see it, we get involved, my heart goes there to that place, to that place with you, you lie or leave and I'm broken again, I've been broken before, I've been thru that kind of pain and I don't think I can chance being like that again." Natalie told him staring out the window as she felt him walk closer to her

"So, what are you going to do just ignore it? Ignore what we both know you're feeling, ignore this thing between us, and what? Be friends instead and do you really think that's gonna work, do you honestly think that's gonna work, that we can just be friends, nothing more and that we can even be near each other and not want to touch each other, not want more." John told her as he faced her back.

"Yeah, It has to"

"I can't ignore it Nat, my feelings... the way you make me feel, But, if you want to ignore them fine, if you think it's going to be so easy, we'll be friends, and we'll see how it works out, but if we were together Nat, if we gave it a try I would never lie to you about anything of importance and with the way my heart already feels about you, the way I already feel about you after only a few weeks, I know I could never leave" John said as he turned her around to look at him with his hands

"It isn't going to be easy, easy to be near each other and not touch each other, it won't be as easy as you think to fight the feeling you have for me." John told her as he stared into her eyes.

"You think you're that irresistible don't you?" Nat said with a small laugh.

"Yup, I do, to you I am" John told her in a cocky attitude, they both stood staring at each other daring the other to look away and break the connection

"You look tired, why don't you take a nap before you have to give your statement to the FBI" Natalie nodded yes

"Come on, I'll tuck you in before I leave" John said as he guided her to her bedroom, he pulled the covers down for her and she got in the bed. John was about to lean in and kiss her forehead when she grabbed his hand.

"Can you stay till I fall asleep?" She asked him and he smiled

"Sure" John said and then he went over towards her chair in the room, but she again took his hand before he got to far.

"There's room here on the bed," Natalie told him and his smile turned into a smirk

"No, the chair is saver" John told her as he slowly moved his hand out of her grip.

"Yeah, this friends thing is gonna work all right" John said quietly and sarcastically as he took a seat in the chair, he watched her sleep.

John hadn't realized how tired he himself was, he had fallen sleep in the chair when he was awoken by moans. He jumped up thinking she was having a bad dream and he saw she was still asleep and she had a smile of sorts on her face, actually not quite a smile but a sign of.. A sign of ecstasy. He questioned himself if that was really what her face looked liked. He remembered there encounter not so long ago and yes, it was, he knew for sure once he heard her moan out in her sleep a few times.

He smiled at he thought that she was having an erotic dream and he also got excited by it, he watched her carefully with a smirk on his face knowing as much as she was fighting him on being more than friends, he was already under her skin. He got even more excited by her obvious dream of pleasure when she moaned out his name in her dream. With a big smile forming across his face at this point he walked closer to her in the bed and knocked right into her nightstand and knocked a picture onto the floor.

The picture made a loud noise and Natalie awoke out of her dream, she jumped up and saw him bending down to pick up the picture, he stood back up and he saw her awake, cursing himself for being so clumsy, he smiled at her.

"I'm sorry I woke you, I was a bit clumsy"

"That's alright"

"Are you alright? You were calling out in your sleep" John asked her baiting her to see if she remembered the dream of him and if she would tell him about having it.

Yeah, I'm fine. I...I think I was having a dream"

"Wanna talk about it? Is it to painful to relive?"

"No...I mean, yes, it's too painful to relive, I'm gonna get ready and go down to the station now" Natalie told him as she went inside to brush her hair and get ready. Natalie closed the bathroom door and then she stood behind it holding her head in her hands. She was dreaming about him, not just dreaming about him but also having an amazing dream about them making love, not a memory of the encounter but a dream of pure bliss, him holding her after wards and all. There was a connection between them in the dream and it made her smile just thinking about it again now. She shook her head knowing, knowing that although she keeps telling him she wants to be friends, that she needs them to only be friends, she knew he was right, she again shook her head not knowing how she was going to get out of this, these feelings with her heart still intact.


	14. Chapter 14

ABC Owns Them

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**Chapter 14**

John waited around for Natalie to get out of the bathroom and he drove them to the station. They didn't talk much in the car, Natalie just looked out the window as he drove and John watched her without her knowing out of the corner of his eye. They arrived at the station and they both got out quickly and went inside to see Bo.

Natalie walked a bit quicker than John and she walked over by her desk, she stopped for a minute and looked for a mirror in her desk draw, she was feeling a bit self conscious about the evident bruises still on her face and when she saw a few officers outside look at her, there looks of pity, as she saw it, she felt worse. John saw her pick the mirror out of her draw and look at the big bruise on her face, he knew it was bothering her to have anyone see her like this. He walked closer to her.

"You're still the most beautiful thing in this station, hell, in Llanview, Okay in the..." John whispered into her ear as he saw her continuing to look in the mirror. She slapped him gently across the chest as a motion to tell him that was enough.

"Like I need you to tell me that" Natalie told him back sarcastically and he laughed as he saw her smile slightly.

John heard someone clear there throat and both he and Natalie looked to See Agents Smith and Hower standing behind them, observing the situation.

"John, we need to talk" Agent Hower told John and John nodded his head yes and went over towards them, they went into a near by empty office and began to discuss the case. Natalie stood at her desk for a few moments and then was curious, well she knew they were talking about her but she wanted to hear what exactly they were looking for form her, and what importance Izzy Foley was to them. She went closer to the room and started to listen in thru the thin walls as she heard them begin to speak.

"John, we understand you want to protect her and from where we stand it's understandable but, we need to find out what she knows and if she's seen Matinio in the bar. "

"I understand we need the information and I know she will help to the best of her ability but she's been thru so much last night and this morning. I know the way you get when you're trying to get info from people, you're harsh, I'll do it"

"Not possible John and you know why, as a matter of fact once the chief hears that your personally involved in this you'll be off the case."

"And who might he hear that from? I'm positive he won't be hearing it from anyone in this room now will he?"

"John, you know I have to tell him"

"That's funny, that day back on the Sneider case when you thought you'd cut out early and go have some fun with the blonde, I don't remember anyone telling or even threatening to tell the chief, you know that wasn't that long ago"

"That case is over and it didn't jeopardize the case, the chief won't care."

"You're right, he probably wouldn't' but your wife, Sharon, she might be interested in hearing about it."

"Fine, no one tells the chief anything, nothing."

"Natalie's told me what she remembers from last night, I'll explain it to the two of you and then we can show her some pictures."

John told the other Agents all about what Nat said happened, it was very difficult for him at some points but he just explained those points and didn't show an ounce of emotion. Although it wanted to make him puke, the beating Izzy had given her and the thought that he might have raped her, Thank God that wasn't what happened, he thought as he continued to explain Nat's story to his colleague's. But Why? He again thought 'why didn't he finish it?' It wasn't adding up, things weren't adding up, she wasn't able to fight back and he leaves, goes somewhere or did someone else see something, why?

Natalie was outside of the office listening to John explain to the other agents about what happened to her last night, she was getting a little upset listening to John account for it when she turned briefly away from the room almost ready to be sick when she saw Harry approaching her.

"Hey" Harry said softly in an ashamed voice, he looked at her bruises on the face and he was getting more and more guilt ridden.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay, I've been better, but than again I've been worse" Natalie said with a small smirk.

"Nat, I'm really sorry, really, really sorry. I fucked up; I was supposed to be your partner and I.. I.., I have no excuse"

"Harry, stop beating yourself up about it, it went wrong and well... it.. well.. It could have been worse."

"Natalie, if you need anything, I mean anything, just ask"

"I don't need anything but time, a little time to process everything"

"Does that mean you're not coming back to work right away?"

"Even if she wants to, she's not," Bo said as he walked up behind the two as they were talking

"How are you feeling Honey?" Bo asked and he kissed her cheek

"I'm fine, I really wish everyone would stop asking me how I am. I'm not a doll, I won't break"

"Alright, alright we are just concerned are the two of you ready to give your statements?"

Bo asked, Nat and Harry nodded yes and walked inside to his office.

While in Bo's office John had come out from talking to the other agents, he looked around the room for Natalie and at first he didn't see her, then he noticed she and Harry in speaking with Bo. He knew she was obviously giving Bo her statement. He watched thru the window facing in to Bo's office. He noticed she started twirling her hair around her finger and he had observed that as a trait of her being Nervous. He knew she must have been telling them about the beating Izzy had given her and he wanted nothing more than to go in there and grab her, hold her and make all the pain go away, but he knew it wasn't as easy as that, although she wasn't raped, this would leave scars, maybe not physical ones but scars.

John watched for a few more minutes as Agent Hower, Tony his friend and colleague approached him. Tony saw John caught up in watching the Red Head intently thru the window.

"How long have you known her?" Tony asked John, as he never looked away from Natalie thru the window.

"Not long" John answered

"Really? Not like you to fall in Love so fast, actually now that I think about it not like you to fall at all." Tony told him, as John didn't say a word. Tony noted his silence and knew he was right, about the being in Love part, John was most definitely in Love with this woman, he had never seen the great FBI agent John Mcbain under anyone's spell, never seen him willing to bent the rules, even break the rules for anyone, but here John stood, mesmerized, in her, in helping her.

"John, you do know this isn't good right? you feeling like this about someone like that"

"What is that suppose to mean?" John asked as he finally turned to look at him

"Well... she's a cop John, and you are you... I mean I've never seen you act the way you've been acting and I heard the officers around the station talking, it seems you've been busy roughing people up because of her."

"Those are just rumors Tony, still don't understand what it has to do with her not being good for me"

"She's not good for your career John, nor for your emotional state."

"Don't be ridiculous Tony."

"John, were close so I feel I can say this, how are you going to be able to work this case, I mean we need to find Foley so he can lead us to Matinar. When we find him, you and I, how easy would it be for you to...well.. To maybe rough him up a bit, maybe more than a bit because of her, because of how you feel about her, for her. Think about it John, maybe you should let us handle things without you, take yourself off the case."

"No way, Izzy Foley, is mine, when I find him... I'm ..."

"John that's what I mean. When you find him you won't be able to separate what he's done to her and what we need to get from him. You will be too clouded to do your job successfully " Tony told him

"You just worry about yourself and let me worry about me, I know what I have to do" John told him as they both saw Nat and Harry walk out of Bo's office. John walked over to her.

"You alright?"

"Will everyone please stop asking me that, I'm fine!"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell, I'm just getting tired of everyone asking

"I got that impression," John said with a small smile and they both laughed a little.

"Since your fine the FBI has some questions and some photos we need to show you."

"You mean you do, don't you, you're still working the case aren't you?" Natalie asked and he nodded yes. John escorted her into the other office, Tony followed behind them noting how tender John was with her, again this was something he had never seen from John, he still wondered how John was going to be able to do his job when it came down to Izzy Foley.

Natalie answered John's questions as the other two agents listened but knew better than to open up their mouths, John wanted to handle this and he did. Natalie answered all the questions prevented to her from John noting that he must have informed them of what she had previously told him cause that never came up, last nights occurrences never came up. John pushed a few pictures in front of her face and she looked at them.

"Do you recognize any of these men from the bar?" John asked as she looked at the photos. There were at least six different men; one by one Natalie moved the pictures away from the others.

She held up the first photo and faced it towards John and the Agents that were sitting across from her.

"This guy was in the bar three times last week, Tuesday night from ten to about midnight, Thursday from eleven to twelve and on Saturday from twelve to closing, we closed at three that day. He was talking with this guy," Natalie said as she held up the next photo and went on to explain for how long they were talking and what they were doing in the Bar.

Natalie went thru all six photo's as the three men sat in amazement taking notes and never asking questions, she was so through that see answered their questions even before they had a chance to ask them, even before they had a chance to think of them. Natalie totally ran the whole show as the three of them just stared at her, it was amazing, the memory on her, right down to the last detail, to what the men at the bar were wearing, they shook there heads realizing their was a reason she was a cop.

John watched her as she continued to take hold of the investigation with her remembrance of everything, every little word she heard them speak, whether important to the case or not she told them it. He caught himself smiling a few times as she was talking, she was one of a kind, how could she remember all those things in that beautiful head of hers, some may facts and details, if he wasn't already falling for her this would definitely have caused him to be, he shook his and shook his smile off of it when he saw Tony give him a look of disapproval.

About an hour later Natalie finished telling them everything she knew which happened to be a lot. Without realizing it she knew more than she suspected. Natalie told them that was everything and she asked if she was done, John told her yes and she excused herself and left. Natalie got out in the hall; she was walking towards her desk when John ran up behind her calling her name.

"What John?" Natalie said as she turned to see him

"Have you always had that kind of memory? I mean, I've never heard or seen someone remember so much, I can't even remember what I had for breakfast today" John told her and Natalie smiled a small smile

"That's because you had nothing for breakfast this morning, remember we were at the hospital, you took me to the hospital, to be checked out" Natalie said as her smile turned a little as she didn't realize it and she mentioned the hospital, she quickly tired to cover her falling smile but John had already noticed it. He walked a little closer to put his arm around her shoulder when all of a sudden they heard someone Irate behind them.

John turned to look to see who it was and was knocked to the floor with a punch across his face.


	15. Chapter 15

ABC owns them

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**Chapter 15**

"John, are you alright?" Natalie asked John as she bent down to help him up off the floor.

"Chris, are you nuts! What the hell was that for?" Natalie said yelling at a red in the face Vega, an obsessive red in the face Vega.

"That's cause of what happened to you, he shouldn't have let that happen to you, get beat up and all. Where the hell was he when this was happening to your pretty face and body. Huh? Where the hell was everyone?" Chris yelled back at her. Natalie helped John stand up and steady himself.

"Chris you can't just go around hitting people, your going to end up getting arrested for it sooner or later, do you know who John is? He's FBI Chris, you stupid ass you just decked a Federal agent, do you understand what that means you fool, I can't get you out of this one because we use to be married." Natalie told him shaking her head in disgust

"I don't give a rats ass who he is Natty, they were suppose to be protecting you and they didn't, you're my property, My wife, this is why I didn't want you being a cop"

John was about to say something to this moron of an ex husband of Natalie when he heard Chris' last words to Natalie, John decided to stay quiet he knew with the look on Natalie's face that jail would be an easy thing for this guy right now. H watched as she approached Chris and ripped into him.

"You're what! That's what this is all about someone damaged your damn livestock, I'm going to throw you in that cell myself, you're such a stupid ass and repeat after me Chris, do you think You can handle it! You and I are no longer married; I am none of your damn business! Not get the hell out of the station before I personally throw you in one of those cells!" Natalie told Chris and John couldn't help but smirk, the guy was an ass, he could understand why, because he had only known her for a few short weeks and he had already punched a guy for dancing with her but this guy was a jerk.

Chris was about to open his stupid mouth when he looked at how mad she was, he thought best he didn't and he left. As soon as Chris was out of the station Natalie turned back towards John.

"Are you sure you are alright?" she asked him coming down from her rage

"Yeah, I'm alright and I can sort of see where he's coming from" John told her and he saw she didn't look good all of a sudden.

"I've gotta go, I'll see ya" Natalie said as she started walking towards the door to the station

"Wait, what's going on?" John asked as he stopped her from leaving

"Nothing, I...I.. I just can't take this today, being here anymore, I'm going home" Natalie told him

"You do look wiped, maybe it was to much for you today, I'll take you home"

"No, that's okay, I know my way, anyway don't you have to work on the case?"

"No, Tony and Kenny are just putting the their information together for today, tomorrow we look for Izzy and Matinio"

"Matinio Huh? I've heard that name, that guy is up for some heavy stuff? He's linked to Izzy?" she asked and John nodded

"Was he one of the guys in the photo's you showed me, I never have seen a picture of him."

"Natalie, I really can't get into the case with you, you know that"

"He was one of the guys, I bet he was the one with the mustache, and do you guys think he has Izzy or Izzy is with him"

"Natalie, I think I know where you're brain is going with this, and don't. Let us find him, them, let me find Izzy. "

"I wasn't up to anything, I was just curious, I mean I am allowed to be curious aren't I, the guy just did all this to me" Natalie told him and he gave her a face saying he didn't believe her.

"Go out with me tonight?" John asked out of the blue

"What? Like a date?" Natalie asked confused that he'd ask after all they went thru this morning

"Yeah, a date, dinner" John told her as he smiled

"John, we went thru this already, I don't think so"

"Come on, it's just dinner, we won't call it a date then, two friends hanging out, come on you know you want to, you have to eat. Maybe I'll let you win at pool."

" I don't know"

"Come on, please?" John begged a little more and he saw her giving in.

"Okay, dinner and maybe a game or two of pool as friends" Natalie told him and they headed out the door.

It was late afternoon and they both weren't that hungry yet so they went to Rodi's to play pool, when they were about to walk in Natalie looked into the bar thru the front window and she saw most of Llanview inside, well at least five to ten people she knew, she stopped before they walked in the door.

"What?" he asked as he saw her stop and get uncomfortable, he watched her twirl her hair in her fingers, and then she touched her face where she still was sporting a huge purple bruise.

"There's too many people in there, it's to crowd and I...I.. Don't feel like answering any more questions today, I'm just gonna go home" she said as she started to walk away, he walked after her before she got to far.

"Natalie ... wait up. This can't be the only pool table in town, is it?" John asked after she stopped walking away for him.

"No, it's not"

"Do you think the other bar would be less crowded this time of day?" John asked and Natalie smirked a little.

"Yeah, the other bar would be a lot less crowded" she told him and they proceeded to leave Rodi's'

Twenty minutes later John and Natalie got out of John's car. And walked towards Crossroads

"I don't understand why we had to stop for a six pack before we got here, doesn't this place serve beer?" John asked as he started to look around the place and noticed there weren't any other cars in the lot.

"Nope, it doesn't sell beer any more since it lost it's Alcohol license well actually they never renewed it" Natalie said as they approached the front door, John now knew why they stopped for beer and why there weren't any cars in the lot. He smiled and watched as she unlocked the door with a key she had on her key ring.

"You got a key to this closed down place?"

"Yeah, the old owner was sort of my pool coach and when he moved he asked me to watch it for him, I like to come here sometimes and play pool when Rodi's has too many people at it." Natalie said as they walked in the place and she flicked on the lights, the lights didn't come on.

"Oops I forgot the electric is turned off, I usually come earlier in the day" Natalie told him as she saw him start to think.

"It'll still be light out for a few more hours and do you think there are any candles or flashlights in the back?" John said and Natalie got a strange look on her face, candles she thought, sort of romantic, she shook her head quickly and got that thought out of it. They both went in the back and actually found some candles and a flashlight, it was kind of weird and if she didn't know better she would have thought he'd planned this.

John and Natalie played pool for hours, they drank beer, had a few snacks they picked up with the beer and they played, finally it started to get really dark in the place, Natalie set the candles up all along the bar, John came behind her and lit them as she placed them.

When all the candles were lit John turned to see her standing there, he didn't know what it was but something about the way the flames of the candles were glowing made her look even more beautiful. He was mesmerized by her, just like the first time he saw her; he couldn't take his eyes off of her.

Natalie watched him staring at her, right into her eye' it was the most intense stare they had shared yet, he looked into her eye's as if seeing into her soul, she all she was, all she wanted, her dreams, her ambitions, even her fears. She wanted to so desperately look away from his eye's but she just couldn't bring herself to do so, it was like they were hypnotizing her, she watched him start to walk forward towards her, he took a few steps never wavering his eye's never looking away and she tired so hard to think friends, to say friends but then he kissed her, he kissed her and the word friends was lost to her forever, when it came to John Mcbain, her heart would no longer be able to feel the word friend.


	16. Chapter 16 Smut

ABC Owns Them

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**Chapter 16 (NC-17)**

John walked closer to her as he saw her eyes start to close, he brought his hand up to her cheek and he touched it as she opened them seeing him. He looked back into her eyes when she opened them and he knew, he knew by the look in them that it was over, the friends armor she was so desperately trying to shield herself with was down, it was gone. She was letting herself feel, he slowly brought his lips forward and kissed hers, she returned his gentle kiss with one of her own as when he started to pull his lips away.

Their kisses were soft and gentle and then John brought his hands to the back of her head and pulled her head in as close as possible to deepen them, their kisses, they were starting to get urgent for each other, Natalie's hands went to his waist and she pulled his body towards her, one of John's hands made it's way down her back to the middle of it, they continued to kiss for a few more minutes when John backed up a bit. He looked into her eyes before he spoke, before he made sure this wasn't going to be too much for her.

"Are you alright with this? I mean .. Be sure before we start cause this is more to me Natalie than sex and if that's all you want, I need to know now, there's no turning back for me if we do this, I want to be able to hold you afterwards to, I want all of it Natalie" John said as he held his breath waiting for an answer

"I'm sure John, I want this, I want you to make love to me, I wanna feel your strength around me when we're done" Natalie told him and she saw him take a breath and start to breathe again, he put his hand on her cheek as he looked into her eye's.

"How do you know? How do you know you're sure?" John asked as he continued to hold her cheek in his hand as he saw her eye's change another shade of blue.

"My heart John, it doesn't lie" Natalie said the words and then she smiled at him, John wasted no time moving his hand off her face on to the bottom of her shirt and he lifted it up and off of her, he noticed a few of her bruises and again asked.

" Is this going to be uncomfortable for you? You've been thru a lot"

"No, this is going to make me feel better, you make me feel better and I'm still on pain meds so I really feel good" she said and she laughed, he laughed and then he took his lips and started kissing the black and blue bruises on her arms, her neck and then his lips made their way down to her cleavage, he reached on hand behind her and unhooked her bra as he brought kisses to the top of her breast while her bra started to fall to the ground.

Natalie felt his lips on her sensitive bruises and felt as if he was healing them with his touch, he brought his lips lower to her breasts as her bra fell off of her, his tongue made it's way to her nipple and she arched her back up slightly giving him easier access. Natalie was getting caught up in what his mouth was doing to her breasts as she took her hands and pulled his shirt out of his pants, she tried to reach for the buttons but he was still leaning down suckling on her left nipple when she sighed and moved her hands down to where she could reach, down to his jeans, she pulled on the button of his jeans till it came undone, then she unzipped it slowly, she pushed the two ends of the material wide apart and she put her hand inside his boxers, feeling him stop teasing her nipple for a second to acknowledge that she had taken a hold of him, she smiled to herself and started stroking him up and down till see felt him return to the acts of pleasure on her nipples.

One warm lick at a time his tongue accomplished, slowly and agonizingly he continued to lick around her hardened point till he felt it was time to move on to the other nipple with the same slow torture, he heard Natalie let out a few whimpering moans and at first he wasn't sure if it was from all the pleasure or she was in pain, she felt him tense slightly when she moaned.

"It's alright, I'm fine, that was a good moan babe, a really good one" she said with her eye's shut as he relaxed again but this time he decided to move his lips down her body lowered, his hands met his mouth near the button of her jeans as he got down on his knees, he unbuttoned her jeans and gently pulled them and her black lace panties down her legs and on to the floor, when they were successfully off her looked up at her. Natalie saw him look at her after he took of the remainder of her clothes and she gave him a look of desire and need so he knew she wanted him to continue.

John leaned his mouth close to her core as he was still on his knees, he widened her legs with his fingers and lingered a few of them on her sensitive area, he slowly inserted his tongue into and started moving it back and forth as he started to feel her walls tighten. He took one of his fingers and found her clit and massaged gently around it while he felt it drive her crazy. This only lasted for a few seconds until she took her fingers and raked them across his back and pulled on his arms telling him she had had enough of this torture.

John slowly guided his body back up hers as she couldn't take it anymore, she leaned down as he was moving up bringing her lips frantically to his, over and over she took his lips urgently as he started to move them backwards towards the pool table, he pushed her up against the pool table and gently laid her down on it, he saw her look up from it at him, her naked body laying up against the green felt with her beautiful red hair spread out on it almost made him lose control right then and there, but he pushed it back and again took control, he pushed his jeans and boxers off of him and then laid himself on top on him.

As he laid on top of her he brought his lips to hers for a kiss and then back down to her nipples once more till he finally heard her say what he was so anxiously awaiting from her.

"I'm so close John, make love to me" Natalie said and within a matter of seconds he was inside of her and pushing himself in deeper and deeper with every thrust, every back an forth action causing her walls to tighten and then release it's grip around his member till finally she reached her body up to met his and she took his lips passionately, she wrapped her legs around him and the extra motion her body movement caused, caused her to start bucking up and down faster and harder than she had expected to, she quivered as she felt him push her with one last push, knowing it was going to be the one to take them both to paradise, and it was, it did, suddenly they joined their juices and watched the each other as they did.

As Natalie's wall stopped contracting she reached her hand to his face and wiped away some sweat that was forming on it. She smiled at him and he at her. He gently pulled himself out of her reluctantly, he wanted to stay in her forever, it felt as if he could, then he rolled on to the side of the pool table and she moved over a few inches so he could put his arms around her and hold her, he pulled her even closer with his arms as they came around her back as she rested her head on his chest. After a few minutes Natalie spoke as she ran circles on his chest with her fingers.

"I can't believe how weak I am," Natalie told him and John got confused

"You're not weak Natalie you are the strongest person I know" John told her letting his fingers play with the back of her hair.

"I don't mean that, I mean I was just telling you earlier, insisting actually that we be friends and now look what happened I just can't believe I wasn't strong enough to deny my heart." Natalie said and John thought he understood what she was getting at, he moved up causing her to fall off of him, he started to get completely up when she stopped him.

"John," she said his name softly and she put her hand on his shoulder.

"Look at me," She told him and he turned to see her face.


	17. Chapter 17

ABC owns them

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**Chapter 17**

"John" Natalie said again as she continued to hold his arm with her hand.

"No, Nat, I'm not gonna look at you, I asked you, I asked you several times to be sure cause I didn't want it that way again, I didn't want for either of us to regret it and now you are." John told her as he got up completely, he started looking all over for his clothes.

"You think I'm regretting it?" Natalie asked confused by how he could jump to that conclusion. She started to get off the pool table and walk closer to him.

"Well you are, aren't you?' he asked as she found his shirt that he was so desperately looking for, she handed it to him and their hands touched briefly, she let her fingers linger touching his. Again she asked him

"Look at me John, really look at me, I've been thru so much in the last day and a half and this is the only thing that has felt right, us, us making love" Natalie said as he finally turned and looked at her, he listened as she continued.

"I think I may be falling as fast as you are, No, I know I'm falling faster than you, I've known all along and it scared me, just be patient with me alright? I don't always do this trust thing so good," Natalie told him as he interlocked their fingers that had been touching. He moved back towards her and he went in for a soft kiss. After their tender soft kiss, John leaned his forehead against hers and they both stood that way with their eyes closed for a few minutes.

"Wanna go back to my place?" Natalie asked softly as they pulled their heads apart and started to gather their clothes.

"I thought you'd never ask" John said with a smirk as he found her bra for her and helped her on with it. They both finished getting dressed. They drove back to Nat's apartment in silence until he wanted to know more, more about her, he remembered some of the stuff Bo had told him about her but he wanted to learn about it, about her, from her.

"Your uncle told me you grew up in Atlantic City like me" John told her

"Yep, not the nice part of town, the part you don't walk alone at night"

" And you weren't always a Buchanan?"

"Well actually I've always been a Buchanan I'm actually the only female true Buchanan blood line, I have a brother in England and he is also a true blood Buchanan, I have several other brothers and even a twin sister"

"Excuse me, how can you be the only true blood if you have a twin sister"

Natalie laughed at his question and gave him the technical answer, not that he understood it, not that she understood it but he did a good job faking his understanding of it. They continued to talk about their childhoods and the things that they liked to do, their favorite things and then they arrived at Nat's apartment.

"You're coming up aren't you?" Natalie asked him as she saw him sit still in the seat while she got out of the car.

"Yeah, I'm coming up, wanna race?" he said and he raced her up the stairs

"Hey, you can't do that, you're blocking my path" she told him as she ran up the stairs trying to beat him to the her apartment, he playfully put himself in her way so she couldn't get by him as she caught back up to him after he ran passed her the first time.

"I can do what ever I want remember you're falling for me"

"That doesn't mean you're allowed to cheat"

"Who's cheating, I'm not," John said as she opened the door with her key

"Oh, you cheated alright, cheater" Natalie said as she closed the door behind both of them after they walked into the apartment.

"Cheater Huh? I'll give you cheater" John said as he kissed her roughly, he picked her up and walked them inside to her bedroom, he put her down on the bed gently and they made love again, softly and tenderly, taking their time and enjoying the sensation of each other and their togetherness, afterwards they laid tangled up in each other as they held on tight to each other not wanting to ever let go.

John was half asleep when he ran his finger over a sensitive spot on the back of her neck; she jumped by the quick jolt of pain.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know it was so sensitive back there, let me take a look at it." John said as he moved her hair from away from the place and noticed a circular red burn type mark.

"Natalie, what the hell is that?"

" I don't know but it's sensitive, it hurts a little, what does it look like?"

"It looks like a cigarette burn, like someone burned you with a cigarette on the back of your neck, right at the hair line."

"What? Why? Oh, My God!" Natalie said and she ran inside to the extra bedroom that she used for an office, she came out with a few files. She was flipping thru the pages as she walked back over to him.

"What is it?" John asked

"Does it look like this?" Natalie asked him as she showed him a picture of the autopsy of one of the women they suspected Izzy killed.

"That son of a bitch!" John said realizing what this was he was looking at, it was the files on the girls Izzy killed, the murders they couldn't tie him to legally but everyone knew he was responsible for.

"He must have done it to me when I was out, I can't believe I couldn't feel something like that, that's odd but I guess I was really out of it"

"You do know what this means right? "

"Yup, now we can tie him in to the murders of those girls, it should be enough to get an arrest warrant, if we could only find him to arrest him that is" Natalie said and John knew all that but he also knew what else it meant.

"That, but it also meant... well, that he was most likely going to kill you and something happened to him, something went wrong." John said and she shivered a bit. John put the file down, he took her hand and led her back into bed, and he laid her on his chest.

"Go back to sleep, we'll figure out the rest in the morning, you really need to try and rest some" John told her knowing this was getting to be a little to much for her right now, he could tell with the way he saw her shiver a bit.

The next morning John woke to feel her gone, he got out of her bed and called out for her but she didn't answered he had a feeling he knew where she went and then when he saw the note on her dresser he knew.

John walked into the police station about seven am, he walked right over to her desk and sat across from her at her desk without her even knowing, she was so wrapped up in her files that she didn't even see him or even hear him at first, not till he said her name a little louder.

" I'm sorry, I guess you saw my note" Natalie said after he said good morning to her, she smiled hoping he wasn't mad about her leaving so early.

"Are you mad?" she asked him as she saw he didn't smile back at her.

"No, not really but... you do know you shouldn't be working on this case, actually not any case, Bo made it perfectly clear that you are on a leave of absence for awhile, till your all healed both physically and emotionally."

"I'm fine John, I can do this, I'm feeling good, we just got this break in the case, I'm alright really, thanks for the concern"

"Natalie you 're not fine, you may insist you are, you may think you are but you 're not, I can tell"

"John"

"Natalie, you shivered last night when his name came up and... and well it doesn't matter anyways, this is the FBI's case now and you are off of it."

"Excuse me!"

"You heard me, it's my case now kindly hand over the files and your findings"

"No way buddy, why are you doing this to me?"

"Because I care about you, I don't want to see you get hurt again, stay out of it"

"Please Natalie, just stay away from it, "

"John, I have to do this, he took so much away from me, I'm afraid now, I feel powerless, not in control and I need to find him and put him away to make myself feel better."

"I can do that for you, trust me, I'll take care of Izzy Foley, he'll be getting what he deserves"


	18. Chapter 18

ABC owns them not I

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**Chapter 18**

"John"

" No, Nat, hand over the files, I'll take care of Izzy don't you worry that pretty little face about it, I'll find him and he'll pay for the hell he put you thru" John told her as she handed over the files still a bit reluctantly.

"Thank you" John said and he looked around to make sure no one was around and he kissed her quickly but softly on the lips.

"I've gotta go meet agent Hower and Smith, can we meet up later?" John asked as he took her hand for a second

"Maybe" she said playfully

"Maybe Huh?" John questioned enjoying her playfulness

"Yeah, maybe that is if you're up for another date" Natalie told him with a smirk on her face

"Oh, I could go for another date, especially one that ends like last nights did" John said playfully and as he got a twinkle in his eye.

"I'll call you later, why don't you go and get out of this place, Bo's not gonna let you do anything here today"

"Yeah, I guess I will, maybe I'll go see my mom" Natalie told him and John walked away going into an office to meet with Hower and Smith.

Natalie waited for John to out of hearing distance and she picked up her phone.

"Hey, it's me, I need your help and don't say no cause you owe me and you know it" Natalie said and she told Harry on the other end to meet her at Rodi's in ten minutes.

Natalie walked into Rodi's and saw that Harry was already there, she took a seat after saying hello and got right to it, right to what she needed from him.

"I want you to help me find Izzy Foley, before you saying anything, I know you're on leave pending review and I'm not suppose to be working on this case, well actually the LPD isn't suppose to be working on this case but, the way I see it your owe me"

"Natalie, do you really think this is a good idea?"

"I don't care if it's a good idea or not, that man, caused me lots of pain, that was our case, Foley was our case and I'm not going to just let the Feds come in here and take over, I need this Harry, I need to find him myself, confront him and then maybe I'll feel like I can be a good cop again, good as new or even better from the experience" Natalie told Harry as she continued to tell him what it was she needed help with, Harry agreed to help her, he too wanted to put Foley behind bars, they ordered lunch, they were in the middle of eating and laughing when they hadn't noticed John and Tony walk in.

John heard her laugh as soon as he walked into Rodi's, she was laughing and that was a good sign, he looked to see who she was with and it was her partner Harry, a feeling of jealousy came over him, out of no where, he was her partner, he shouldn't be jealous of her partner but he was.

John and Tony walked over to the bar and ordered food and a beer, John turned around several times to watch her as she was so freely talking to Harry.

"Hello John, earth to John" Tony said as he saw him looking over his shoulder to look at Natalie

"See, I told you she isn't good for you, she and her Partner seem close, are they sleeping together?" Tony asked and John just about jumped out of his skin.

"What the hell would make you say something like that?" John told Tony hostile

"Nothing man, I'm sorry, they just look intimate that's all"

"Are you trying to piss me off?" John told him as he looked back at Nat quickly to see her walking towards the bar, she still hadn't seen him, or at least he didn't think she had seen him. He faced his eye's straight ahead looking at the glasses on the wall, behind the bar.

"Hey" Natalie said as she approached them, John nonchalantly turned to look at her.

"Hey, I didn't know you were here, I thought you went to see your mom"

"John, are you lying again?" Natalie asked him softly but seriously

"Yeah, I saw you" John told her as he took his beer and escorted her over to the side for a minute to talk privately.

"I'm sorry, I... was actually getting a little jealous of Harry, I know it's ridiculous he's your partner and all but then Tony said something about you to looking intimate like you slept together or something and well, I got weirded out by it." John told her and she smiled, John took a slug of his beer

"Thanks for telling me the truth, and Tony was right, Harry and I have slept together" Natalie said and John spit his beer out across the room. Natalie laughed at his response to her lie.

"Natalie"

"I was just telling my own little lie, doesn't feel good does it?" she said and he smirked at her. Harry walked over to them.

"I've gotta go, Nat. I'll be in touch" Harry said as he said good-bye to her and nodded bye to John.

"I've gotta get back to Tony we're going over paperwork, "

"Call ya later, we can go out maybe?" John told her as he leaned into her cheek and kissed it.

"I'm going home after my mom's if you just want to come over when you're done with work?"

"Okay, I can do that" John said with a huge smile on his face, he turned and walked away. John and Tony discussed the case and how in a few days they would set up surveillance at the location an informant told them that Izzy might be at.

A few hours later John knocked on her door, it was almost dinnertime and he hadn't spoken to her since lunchtime at Rodi's. He had missed her, he couldn't believe it, he hadn't spoke to her in a few hours and it was like he couldn't go another minute without talking to her, he continued to knock on the door, but she didn't answer, he got an uneasy feeling but it was gone the minute she answered the door.

"Have you been here long? I was blow-drying my hair and didn't here you" Natalie told him as she opened the door and let him in.

"Nope, just got here" John said as he walked into her apartment and shyly kissed her cheek as he passed her standing by the door. John took a seat on the couch and she came and sat next to him, Natalie pulled a pillow and held I close to her chest, they looked at each other for a few minutes before Natalie spoke.

"So, What do ya wanna do?" she asked and she saw a wide grin form across his face. She smacked him with the pillow gently and smiled back at him.

"You know what I meant. Do you want to go out, or maybe watch a movie, cards, I don't know a lot about you, what is it you like to do when you're not working?" she asked and she saw him trying really hard to think about her question.

"Other than play pool once an awhile, I really don't know, I don't usually have any time other than work, and what time I have I usually don't have anyone to spend it with, so I usually just watch TV and sleep."

"Really? That's it? All these years, you've been about the job and nothing else?"

"Well, there was my fiancée for a few years many years ago but I still worked a lot, she didn't seem to care to much about that, she had her own stuff"

"Well, I could see how she ended up with someone else, if all you ever did was watch TV, sleep, and work. Not much fun for a woman"

"Yeah" he said and he smiled

"Alright then. Like my brother the CEO says I'm gonna make an executive Decision" Natalie said and she went into the kitchen and grabbed the phone, she dialed, then she leaned her head out of the kitchen while on the fun briefly.

"Pepperoni or sausage?"

"What?"

"On your pizza, pepperoni or sausage?" she said and he smiled

"Pepperoni" he screamed back at her

"Good answer" she said and she finished placing the order for pizza. Natalie came back into the living room with two beers in her hands and she sat back on the couch next to him.

Natalie turned to him.

"The pizza will be here in twenty minutes, maybe we... should. That's if you want to.. Maybe learn a little more about each other, maybe we could just ask each other questions so neither of us has to feel uncomfortable about just openly talking about ourselves." she said a little nervous, she wanted to know more about him but she knew by what she had seen of him so far that it wasn't easy for him, so she decided this would be the best way to get him to open up, so she could find out more about the man behind the Agent Mcbain exterior.

John smiled when he heard her say they should get to know each other better, that was what he had wanted but wasn't sure how to go about it, then she said they could ask questions and he couldn't help but smile, she was so damn smart, she had already known how to make something he didn't like to do, something that was like having a tooth pulled be easier on him, she definitely could read him and she definitely knew just what to do to play him.

"You first?" Natalie said as she watched him think things thru in his head.

John thought for a few minutes then he just asked the question that was on the tip of his tongue even if it was one that should maybe wait till later.

"How many men have you ever been in Love with?"

"Wow! You go right to the good stuff don't you? No beating around or wasting time on nonsense" Natalie said with a slight smile

"FBI agents have no time for nonsense," John said matching her smile with his own. He saw her trying to figure out what and how to honestly answer his question.

"I'll rephrase it if you like, have you been involved with a lot of men" John asked softly not sure if he really wanted to know the answer to that one

"Like that one is any better, no It hasn't been a lot, two or three, it depends on what you consider involved." Natalie told him

"I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable"

"Your not, I.. I just don't want you to think bad about me, I've.. I've made some pretty stupid mistakes with men." Natalie told him as she looked into his eyes

"I couldn't think bad about you if I tried" John said as he watched her face, she looked almost as if she was blushing, just getting slightly pink in the face, he shook his head and laughed for he thought it was something so cute.

"Thanks for that, Okay, I'll start from the beginning, a few stupid guys in Hs, then there was Seth, big mistake but I'll get into that more later, then Chris sort of, then my first husband the marriage was annulled, then Chris again, I told you about my marriage to him. So I guess maybe five really like four, my sort of first husband shouldn't count"

"You've been married twice?" John asked her softly but in a serious tone

"Unfortunately yes, Mitch Lawrence"

"The Mitch Lawrence, as in the cult leader"

"Yep, that's was my sort of first husband, thank God that mistake was annulled and he's dead" Natalie said as she looked into his eye's. His curious eyes.

"Okay, my turn, same question"

"A few fast girls from HS" John smirked and he laughed when he saw her laugh.

"Two, I've only been in love twice, once with Caitlyn and then now" John said softly, he reached his hand over to her face that was facing him while they were still sitting on the couch, he touched her cheek gently, as they stared into each others eye's.

Natalie heard him hint to being in Love with her, it wasn't a secret cause he had hint to it before, said he was falling for her and she knew he meant falling in Love with her but he had never actually said the words, she shook her head as she continued to look into his eye's as he caressed her cheek. She knew she couldn't expect the words so soon, she knew although they were going down that road it was to soon, too soon to pledge an I love You to, to either of them, from either of them. She smiled after a few minutes and then she leaned in and softly took his lips.

Natalie kissed him with such tenderness and longing, she was in Love with him already and she knew it, she had been trying so hard to fight it and then they made Love, beautiful Love and there was nothing, she had never experienced anything like it, her heart already belonged to him, it was already his and when her heart came to something like this, it just didn't lie.


	19. Chapter 19

ABC owns them

* * *

**Chapter 19**

John and Natalie continued to kiss on the couch for the next fifteen minutes, they were getting hot and bothered, John moved himself so he could guide her back down on the couch as they continued to kiss, he took one hand and put it behind her neck and pulled her mouth up even closer to his to deepen their already passionate kisses. Natalie let her hand move to the erection in his pants and she started running her hand up and down on him till they both jumped and broke apart at hearing someone knock at the door. They jumped up as if being caught doing something wrong and they looked at each other with desire still filling their eye's.

"It's the pizza" Natalie said as John got up to straighten his obvious erection, Natalie fixed herself quickly and answered the door, she reached into her pants for money and paid the deliveryman. Natalie turned to close the door with the pizza in her hands when before she could say a word, he grabbed the box from her, threw it on the sofa table and then he proceeded to quickly move his body tightly up against hers, his lips landed on top of hers.

John's hands went to her waist and he pulled her back towards the couch with him, they fell on the couch as he started to urgently take her lips, over and over he couldn't seem to get enough of her taste when he started to bring his lips down her neck, kissing her eagerly as he moved his lips even lower till he came to her breasts, he brought his hands up to unbutton the buttons of her shirt and as he did his task he brought his mouth closer and closer to her bra.

"John" Natalie managed to get his name out in between he breathing heavy.

"The pizza's getting cold," she said still breathing extremely heavy

"I like cold pizza " John said as he stopped his actions for a minute, he stood up and held out his hand for her to take, she did and they looked into each others eye's as he lead her to the bedroom. Natalie held his hand and walked with him into the bedroom, she stopped briefly and took the pizza box off the table. He looked at her with a strange look on his face.

"We might get hungry," she said and he smiled.

John and Natalie made love for hours, only stopping briefly for a few minutes in between to eat some cold pizza. It was almost midnight when they both laid awake holding each other, Natalie ran her hands up and down his large muscular arms and John tenderly ran his fingers down her back.

" I guess we didn't learn to much more about each other tonight did we?" Natalie said softly

"Yeah, we did, we learned that neither of us wants to ever let go. I'm never letting you go, not ever" John said and he held her a little tighter, he leaned his mouth down and kissed the top of her head.

"Ditto" Natalie said and within a few minutes they fell asleep.

The next morning arrived and Nat's alarm clock rang at six am. Natalie jumped up exhausted, she hit the snooze and rested her head back down on his chest. John never even heard the clock, the snooze went off a few more times and eventually Nat just turned it off and went back to sleep. Some where around nine there was a loud knocking on Nat's door, Natalie woke but didn't move, she just continued to hold on to John and she tried to go back to sleep. John too heard someone at her door but he like her refused to budge, they didn't want to move, to leave this place, they didn't want to let go of each other yet. John, like Natalie, closed his eyes and tried to fall back to sleep.

About five or ten minutes later, Natalie jumped up in the bed when she heard it, heard someone calling thru her house for her.

"OMG! It's your mom!" Natalie said excitedly but not so loud, John started to Jump up out of Nat's bed but it was too late, Eve was already entering the bedroom still calling out Nat's name.

"Nat, are you in there are you alri----" Eve said as she saw Natalie and John both standing at this point with covers draped over their naked bodies, no one said a word for a few seconds.

"I'm so sorry, oh, My gosh, I'm so sorry to barge in, your uncle gave me your spare key, Oh, My, Gosh, I'll wait in the Living room" Eve said quite embarrassed at first but then, she started to chuckle as she apologized, she even started to laugh more when she saw John's red face. She left the room and waited for them, or one of them to join he in the Living room.

Natalie was mortified, she turned to john who was pretty embarrassed to when they both looked at each other and started laughing.

"You know we are acting like teenagers right?" Natalie said and he nodded his head yes

"What's my mom doing here any way and why does your uncle have a key?" John asked, as they got dressed.

"I forgot I was suppose to meet her for breakfast this morning to discuss my uncles surprise party" Natalie said as the two of them continued to get dressed

"What surprise party?" John questioned

"It's my Uncles Birthday in a few Days, your mom wants to have a small dinner party for him, or something like that. Do you think you'll still be here in a few days, or will you be undercover trying to find Izzy and Martino?" Natalie asked as she finished putting on her pants

"Not really sure"

"I hope so, I could really use a date for that party, I'm sooooo tired of getting hit on at those things" Natalie said with a small laugh as she saw John who was now fully clothed walk over to her with a grin on his face.

"Well I'll have to make sure I'm here then, don't want anyone trying to make time with my woman" John said as he saw Nat make a weird face.

"What?" John asked as she was continuing to make weird faces

"That term, 'your woman', please don't say it again, I mean.. It kinda excites me to here you refer to me as yours but not like that, I.. mean.. that almost sounded like something that would have come from Chris' mouth.. Yuck!" Natalie told him softly and sweetly and John smiled.

"Okay, I've got it, no references to you being a woman" John said and she smiled

"You know what I mean" she said laughing, he nodded his head yes.

"So, are we going to face your mom together or one at a time?" Nat asked as John took her hand and without words led her out into the living room.

John and Natalie entered the Living room to see Eve standing by the window still wearing a huge smile on her face, John let go of Nat's hand and went over and kissed his mom's cheek.

" I've gotta get to the station, I'm late to meet Tony, I'll see ya" John told his mom as he kissed her cheek, then he turned to Natalie, knowing they were on display and he went and gave Nat a quick kiss on the lips, he mumbled to her that he'd call her later, Nat smiled slightly at him knowing they were still being watched and then John left.

When John was out of the door Eve walked over to Nat, still smiling.

"I really am sorry Nat, your uncle gave me his key, I.. I didn't know you and my son were so close, I.. mean Michael told me you to were sort of close, friends I think he said but I.. I didn't know" Eve said, as her smile got brighter.

"Eve, don't read to much into this Okay?" Natalie told her but Eve's smile never wavered.

"I won't but.. but I've never seen him look this good, I mean he seemed different when I walked in on you two, I mean.. he looked more alive than I've ever seen him, his eye's were alive, I bet his body was alive too"

"EVE!" Natalie said getting bright red in the face not believing she would say something about John's body being alive and insinuating, well she knew what Eve was insinuating, and she couldn't help but smile cause Eve seemed to be right.

"I'm sorry Nat, I just like the idea, the idea of maybe my son being happy, and you already know how much I adore you, and you seem to be different too, in the two years I've know you, you seem to be ... I'm not sure what or how I would put it"

"Happy, content, like I've found something that I've never had before, like my heart may finally be telling the truth?" Nat said finishing Eve's sentences. They both grinned at each other and started to work on Nat's Uncles party.

John arrived at the station to meet Tony, he met with him and found out it would be a few more days till they had a location on Izzy Foley, they discussed the case and Hadn't even realized that someone, Harry was keeping tabs on them.


	20. Chapter 20

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* * *

**Chapter 20**

A few days had passed when the FBI still hadn't heard from their contacts as to the whereabouts of Izzy or Martino. Natalie was still on mandatory leave and since there was very little going on in the case she and John spent most of their free time together. They were getting to know each other little by little; John was opening up to her little by little. With each day that went by Natalie was learning a lot about him, about how he lost his father at a young age and how he had gone into law enforcement to make his dad proud. How he had always longed to here those words from his dad again someday, that he was proud of him. Natalie had realized when he spoke about his dad how very much John was lost, he was a lost soul and she had hoped that with what she was feeling for him and with what he was feeling for her that those feelings could help to overcome his the loss of his dad that he seemed to keep very close to his heart. The heart that she knew she now occupied a big piece of.

John and Nat went out some over the last few days but spent a lot of time at Nat's place, John spent every night there, it was almost as if he was living there, they woke in each others arms every morning and Natalie couldn't believe how safe he made her feel, how much he made her feel, she thought she had never felt anything better than being with John Mcbain, nothing in this world felt better to her.

It was the night of Bo's surprise party; Natalie was in the bedroom getting ready when John returned back from a meeting with Tony. John let himself into her place with the extra key she gave him after nicely asking for it back from Eve. John was standing staring out the window when she came out of the bedroom dressed and ready to go.

"Hey, when did you get back?" Natalie asked as she approached him

"Wow! you clean up good don't you?" John said as he turned and saw how beautiful she looked, stunning, sexy, he shook his head trying to remember that they had somewhere to be in a few minutes cause all he wanted was to take her and make love to her, especially since he knew tonight would be it for awhile.

"John, is everything alright?" Natalie asked as she saw him get a strange look of disappointment on his face

"Yeah, It's... it's just that.. I spoke with Tony and Kenny today, they have confirmed information on Izzy's whereabouts, they think Martino's supposed to be meeting with him soon, we start to stake out the location tomorrow, so .. that means I.." John said as she approached him, John was upset it was evident, he didn't want to go, he wanted to stay right here with her.

"You have to go" Natalie said reassuring him that she knew that he had to do this, she saw how hard this seem to be for him, she went closer to him by the window while he turned back around and looked out the window, she wrapped her arms around his waist from behind.

"Yeah, I have to go, for now, you do know I'm coming back right? I mean I'm only leaving cause I have to get this guy, do this job, then I'll be back, back here in these arms of yours, in your bed, for as long as you want me to be anyways" John said as he turned in her arms and looked into her blue eye's as he told her that he wanted nothing more than to be with her, right here, right now with her.

"I know, my heart knows" Natalie told him and she kissed him tenderly on the lips, they both turned without words and walked out of the apartment to go to the party.

When they arrived at the party John's mood was a little bit better, he was still upset about having to leave her but he wanted to enjoy tonight, tonight he was with her, he was unsure of how long the stake out watching Izzy was going to take, it could take a week, a month or even months. He didn't want to think about this right now, he wanted to enjoy being with her tonight.

John had taken Nat's jacket over to be checked when he watched her from a far, she looked so beautiful, he was luckier than he had ever thought he would ever be, he was in love with this amazing thing, he knew he was fully in love with her now, there was no turning back not now and not ever. He watched her as she spoke with her mom, her smile could light up a room he thought, he saw a small little girl with blond hair wearing a pink dress go running over to her and throw herself into Nat's arms. John smiled as he watched her with the child, he knew she was Jessica's daughter, she was her niece, Natalie was her godmother and she was very close to the child, their were pictures all over her apartment of the two of them.

John continued to observe the two of them as he walked closer to them, he couldn't help but smile, she seemed so natural with the child, so relaxed, so genuine, he knew by just looking at her that she'd make a wonderful mother someday, someday she'd make a wonderful mother to their children, he thought, his smile changed to a confused look as he wondered when he had realized, realized that he was thinking these things with her, about her, when did he even think marriage and a family, and with Natalie, they didn't know each other that long, he didn't even know if she wanted those things ever again, marriage that was, and did she want children? He asked himself as he continued to watch her with her niece as he approached them.

"Hey, there you are I thought you may have gotten lost" Natalie said kidding around as she held Alissa's hands in hers as the little five yr old stood on Nat's shoes, Nat moved back and forth as if teaching the child to dance on top of her feet and she saw John smile, he said no words but he smiled.

John smiled cause he knew the answer to his thoughts, he watched her with her niece, Natalie definitely wanted children.

"I don't think you guys have met have you?" Natalie said to Alissa and looked at John.

"Alissa, this is my friend John, John this is my most favorite niece and godchild Alissa" Natalie said as Alissa turned, got off Nat's feet and shook John's hand.

"Nice to meet you" The polite child told him

"Nice to finally meet you, your aunt has told me so much about you" John told her and the child smiled at him. Alissa then turned back to Nat.

"Is he going to be my uncle someday?" Alissa asked Nat, Nat got red in the face and John laughed. Natalie tried to say something, anything but was to dumbfound at the five yr olds question. John motioned for Alissa to bring her ear close to his mouth so he could tell her a secret.

"Yes, I'm going to be your uncle someday, don't tell your aunt, she doesn't know yet" John said as he saw the child smile, the child motioned for John to bring his ear down to her mouth so she could tell him something in secret.

"Will I have cousins someday too, someday soon?" Alissa asked and John let out a small chuckle, he looked up to see curiosity growing across Nat's face.

"Yes" John quietly and softly told her as he closed his eyes briefly and could almost see it, see them with children, see them, he and Nat with a wonderful life and family. He opened his eye's back up, Alissa heard her name being called and she ran off to the other end of the room, she told them she would see them later before she ran.

"Secret right?" John said as the child continued to run off, she turned back and nodded her head with a smile. John looked at Nat, who was more than curious at this point,

'What's going on?" Nat asked

"Nothing " John said snidely taking her hand and leading her to the dance floor.

"Wanna dance?" he said as he already had her on the floor.

"You don't know how to dance, remember? "

"True, but... I do like to hold you close, so.. dance with me" he said as he pulled her body close to his and started to dance slowly with her.

John and Natalie slow danced together most of the night; they were in their own little world, not paying much attention to anyone else at the party. Finally after a few hours John had, had enough dancing, he knew he had to head out early in the morning.

"Can we go? I wanna spent a little alone time with you, I have to leave early tomorrow" John asked as he saw the answer in her eye's. They left the dance floor and went over to say goodbye to his mom and Bo, Natalie said a quick goodbye to her family and they left, they arrived back at Nat's place, they were barely in the door when John already had the back zipper to her dress unzipped, they made love not wanting it to end. Although he said he was coming back it still felt like it was going to be forever, him not being around. They were just so use to each other, so comfortable with each other.

John woke about five am, he moved carefully out of her hold on him, her hold was tighter than usual, and he knew why. He kissed her head while she still slept, and he just couldn't keep the words he was feeling for her in any longer.

"I love you Natalie," he said softly to her as she slept, he heard her mumble something and he smiled, she mumbled in her sleep that she loved him too. He got dressed, left her a note that he didn't want to wake her in fear that he wouldn't be able to leave if he did.

John left a sleeping Nat an headed out to meet Tony and be on there way to finally catch Izzy Foley, to finally make him pay for what he put her thru.


	21. Chapter 21

ABC owns them

* * *

**Chapter 21**

Natalie awoke when she heard her front door close, she knew he left, she figured with the way he was acting last night that he would just sneak out this morning, her eye's got teary thinking about him being gone, she hoped and prayed that he'd be safe and that he caught Izzy soon. She just wanted him back here with her, she got out of bed and decided to get dressed for the day, she wanted to speak with Harry and see if he knew anything new about this case as well, she knew that Harry was still keeping tabs on things for her, although if John found out she was still some what involved he would probably be pissed at her, she still needed to know, she had already decided to stay out of trying to catch him, she trusted John and when he said he'd catch him for her, put him away behind bars for her she knew he would, but she just needed to keep on top of things, things she knew he wouldn't tell her, things maybe he wasn't allowed to tell her.

Natalie met with Harry and he said he had no more information; Natalie informed Harry that John had left. That it seemed that they had some sort of lead, that was all she said cause that was all she knew.

A month had gone by and John was still on his stake out, he had called Natalie every week to check in and to hear her voice but it wasn't the same as him being here, she was missing him, really missing him, Harry hadn't given her anymore information and she was getting anxious to be with John again, anxious and impatient.

Natalie was at work again; she had been back on the job for the last few weeks, today she was finishing up paperwork when she saw Jessica walk into the station.

"Hey, just came by to see if maybe you want to have lunch with me?" Jessica said as she approached Nat

"You know what Jess, I'm not really up for eating right now, I have no appetite lately" Natalie told Jess and she saw her sister smile, her sister looked her over and smiled again. Jessica leaned into Nat's ear so no one at the station could hear.

"Are you pregnant?" Jessica said and Nat laughed

"No!"

"Are you sure?" Jess said still smiling

"What makes you think I'm pregnant?"

"You're glowing"

"Shut up! People don't really glow when they're pregnant"

"I think you are" Jess said in a sing song voice

"Are you really sure you're not, is it impossible"

"Jess, I'm not!"

"Prove me wrong then, lets go to the hospital so you can have a blood test"

"You are crazy, more crazy than you've ever been"

"Chicken, afraid of a needle"

"Jess...! Alright, fine I'll prove you wrong, I'll make you eat those chicken comments"

Jess and Natalie went to the hospital for a quick blood test. Natalie saw Michael come into her exam room while she waited for the nurse to bring back her test results; Jess was sitting in the chair next to Nat as Michael approached.

"Hey, guys what's going on?" Michael asked looking at Nat's file

"Don't you ever get a day off?" Nat questioned Michael becoming uncomfortable about him being her Dr, she shook her head knowing this was ridiculous, she wasn't pregnant, Jess was just being dippy again.

"Nat thinks she's pregnant" jess said bluntly to Michael while Natalie made a face of annoyance towards jess.

'Jess! You are the one who thinks I'm pregnant"

Michael laughed as the girls bickered back and forth while the nurse came in and gave him the results from Nat's blood tests. His smile deepened when he read the results. Michael had to clear his throat loudly to get the girls to stop talking; they hadn't even realized the nurse had come into the room.

"Nat, I've got your results"

"Good, tell Jess, tell her she's Looney cause I'm not pregnant" Nat said and she even stuck her tongue out a little at Jess, Jess laughed.

"Natalie, Jess is right, you're pregnant," Michael said and Natalie shook her head

"Funny Michael, you almost had me going there for a minute, I'll see you guys" Natalie said and she started to walk out of the room

"Natalie, I'm not joking" Michael said as he walked over to her as she closed the door to the room. Natalie stared straight ahead at the door and never looked back.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

"I need to go...I need to be by myself.. Michael you won't tell anyone, will you? And I mean anyone"

"Natalie, You're my patient I can't and I won't tell anyone, this is good news Nat, its really good news."

"I'm not so sure about that"

"Natalie, sis, are you alright? Let me go with you we can talk?'

"No, I need to be alone" Natalie said and she left Michael and Jess in the exam room

John sat in a hotel room facing a room where they had been watching Izzy Foley for a few weeks, his stomach turned every time he saw the sleazy son of a bitch, he wanted nothing more than to ring his neck but he knew it was to important, this case was to important to let his personal feelings get in the way. They had information from an informant that today Martino was finally suppose to be meeting with Izzy, something big was suppose to be going down, something really big, a drug deal or maybe even a weapons deal.

John and Tony waited in silence for Martino to show, for the meeting, John continued to watch and his mind was somewhere else, it was on Natalie, he hadn't spoke to her in a few days, he was to busy, she was working again, and that actually scared him to death, he wasn't there in case she needed his help, incase she needed someone to lean on, he knew how hard it was going to be for her to go back to work, he thought about how much he didn't want to be here at this place at the moment, how much he wanted to be back in Llanview holding her. He came to a few conclusions while he sat and waited, when this case was over, when Izzy Foley was successfully locked away and was punished for what he did to her he would quit, quit the FBI and go back to her and stay there forever. He wasn't sure what he would do, maybe he could become a PI or even ask Bo for a job, but it didn't matter, all he wanted was to be with her and be happy.

"Hey, what's going on in that pea brain of yours" Tony asked as he saw John caught up in serious thought.

"Nothin"

"Yeah, right! I know you're thinking about her, about the wonderful, amazing Red head you've got back in Llanview"

"You know the one that could stop traffic with her body and I'm sure she has"

"Watch it Tony! You're beginning to piss me off again"

"Don't get your boxers in a bunch.. I'm just stating the obvious, I still can't understand how a guy like you got a fine looking specimen like that"

"And what is that suppose to mean?"

"Nothing, it's just.. well.. you're, brooding, serious all the time, I guess she just likes that"

"I'm not discussing this with you Tony, and I'm not brooding, not anymore anyways, not when I'm with her"

"Yeah, I know, I just like to give you a hard time about things, I was wrong"

"About what?"

"When I said she wasn't good for you, she is, I've never seen you happy, and you may not be aware of it but you're happy."

"I know I am, I can't help but be, she's quickly become everything to me"

"Yeah, with that body and face, and lets not forget the hair, I could see how" Tony said as he laughed, John knew he was joking around and he too laughed.

Llanview

Natalie walked into the station, Michael had just told her she was pregnant, pregnant she thought, how? Why? She was extremely confused, she was pregnant with John's baby and although she should be happy she wasn't quite sure why she wasn't. She tried to think some more about it, she wasn't really sure how she felt about it. She went to her desk and sat down to do paperwork and she would think about it later, about the baby, she would figure out why she was in so much shock later.

About an hour later she saw Harry walk in and go to his desk, she wondered if he had any new info on Izzy, she was about to go over and talk to him when Michael approached her.

"Why did you run Nat?" he asked her point blank

"Michael, I don't want to get into this now"

"Natalie, are you going to tell my brother? Tell him that you're carrying his baby" Michael told her and she looked at him. She wasn't the only one that looked at him, Harry had seen Nat's face when Michael started to talk to her, she looked upset so he was on his way over when he heard that she was pregnant with John's baby. While trying to hear more of their conversation Harry got a phone call on his cell phone. He moved away from Michael and Nat so they couldn't hear him and he took his call.

"I understand perfectly, yes, I know I owe you, I'm not sure I know how to get them off your back, wait... I do have a way, expect me later around five, with insurance that the feds back off" Harry said as he watched Natalie and Michael still deep in conversation.


	22. Chapter 22

ABC owns them

* * *

**Chapter 22**

"Michael please, I need time to process this, I don't even know if your brother will be happy about me having his baby, I'm unsure of a lot of things, I'm not even sure if I'm happy about this yet"

"Natalie, you're not considering getting rid of it are you?"

"Michael, do you know anything about me? Do you think I would do something like that? I just need time to process that's all, to think about it, to figure out how a baby would work in with my job, with my life, I've worked so hard to get here, where I am, and I just have to figure out how I can do this same job and be a mother also, it's a lot to figure out in a few hours"

Natalie told him and Michael realized he was being unfair and he backed off, Harry walked over to them.

"Nat, can I talk to you, it's important" Harry told her and she walked to the side with him, Michael watched Harry and he got an uneasy feeling come over him, he wasn't sure what it was, but it was strange.

"I've got an informant in Jersey and he wants to meet with us about some info on Izzy, tonight at five, are you in?" Harry told her and she nodded her head yes. Natalie walked back over to Michael

"Natalie what's going on?"

"Nothing"

"Natalie, I know you, what's going on?"

"I said nothing!"

"I'm sorry I yelled Michael but I'm a little on edge, okay? I mean, John has been gone for a month, I miss him and now I just find out I'm having his baby. A baby I didn't plan on having, I don't know why I'm not happier about it and... and .. I 'm worried about him alright? I'm worried about your brother, about him finding Izzy and about what might happen, I just want all of this over with"

"I understand kid, I'm sorry about putting pressure on you, just be careful what ever you do, be careful"

"I will thanks," Natalie said and she smiled at him, Michael left the station.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Natalie and Harry drove to Jersey almost the whole way in silence.

"What's up? You're not normally this quiet" Harry told her

"Got a lot on my mind that's all" Natalie told him

"Are we almost there?" she asked and Harry told her yes.

Harry pulled into the parking lot of a hotel on Route six, he drove to the back on the hotel and they got out. Harry knocked on the back door of the hotel and he asked Natalie to go around to the front to just keep a look out for his informant that was obviously not there. Natalie walked to the front of the hotel, her hand on her gun holstered on her waist, she was getting a queasy feeling coming on, she wasn't sure why, was it nerves or morning sickness or was it something else.

John was in the hotel room eating, Agent Hower was looking out the window with binoculars when he saw her, Ms. Buchanan, he thought about telling John but he wasn't sure what she was doing there, was she on the take, he wondered, was she working John over to get info. He watched for a few more minutes and then he saw something else, someone stepped out of Izzy's hotel room, that person grabbed her from behind and yanked her in t he room as she seem to try to grab for her gun.

"John!" Agent Hower screamed as John heard his urgency and ran to the window to see nothing but a door to Izzy's room being slammed shut.

"What's going on? Is it Martino?"

"No, but your girl, Buchanan, she's here, she's in the room"

"What! What are you talking about?"

"I saw her for a few minutes, I... thought maybe she was on the take and then someone grabbed her and pulled her inside the room, she obviously wasn't expecting it"

John got panicky, he started to open the door to go after her when he stopped himself, he had to think, he had to focus, she was smart she could handle herself somewhat and keep herself alive, what the hell was she doing here? He asked himself as he got out of the room and went into the back alley, just in time to see Harry talking to someone, someone that he had seen go into Izzy's room a few times. "That son of a bitch!" he said to himself as he watched carefully. He pulled out his phone and called another agent from up the block in a van to follow Harry and have him arrested when he saw Harry drive off.

Inside the room

"What the hell do you want from me?" Natalie screamed at Izzy as one of his men took her gun away, they took her and tied her to a chair in the room.

"You're insurance, I need to meet the big man and you are my insurance that the feds don't follow me, that they don't do a thing"

"The Feds?"

"My, you really are a slow one aren't you, sexy but a slow learner"

"See your pal Harry, he owed me, big time, I could've caused all sort of problems for him, especially after he stopped me from, from well, actually you owe him too, if it wasn't for him you would've been face down in the river somewhere by now, of course that would have been after I had my fun with you" Izzy said touching her arms with his hands, Natalie was repulsed an spit in his face.

"Get away from me you son of a bitch, and I don't understand how you are going to use me to get the feds off your back"

"I should smack you for that one but since you are with child I'll let it slide this time, your baby's daddy, he's been snooping around thru those windows across the way, he's right over there princess and he won't be able to help you, unless of course he decides to just give in to my demands"

"And what might that be?"

" I need to get out of here, I need to get away with out being detected or followed to meet some important people all he has to do is look away, get the other agents to look a way, that's it. That's all, just turn the other cheek and the red head he's so crazy about and his child will be fine, he really does have fabulous taste" Izzy said and he roughly took a kiss from her

"Get the hell off of me!" She bit down on his lip and then screamed at him.

"Whoa! Knew you were a wild one!"

"You know, he's not gonna do it right? He isn't gonna let you just walk away from here to keep me safe, he's not that interested in me, I'm not that interested in him, he was just some guy to well.. You know.. And unfortunately we weren't careful, me being pregnant won't get you anywhere cause he doesn't care, I already told him and he's fine with me getting rid of it"

"Do you think I'm that dumb? You think I should fall for that?"

FBI's room

John walked back into the room, he went over to Kenny and told him what he observed and told him he was going in thru the back of Izzy's room to get her.

"No! I will not allow you to jeopardize this case for a woman, sorry John but what ever he's doing with her, I don't care, we will be playing this by the book, we're here to do our job, do you understand me Agent Mcbain, you are expected to do your job! We wait for Martino." Hower told John and then John got pissed, he took a hold of his collar by his hands and threw him up against the wall just as Tony walked in from the adjoining hotel room

"What the hell is going on in here?" Tony yelled at the two of them

"Johnny's about to kill his career for a woman and I can't let him do that"

"From where I stand you are in no position to stop me"

"John what the hell is going on and let go of him" Tony told John, john let go of Hower and left the room

"I'll get her out of there myself," John said and he slammed the door

Agent Hower explained to Tony what was going on, Tony shook his head and headed out the door to find John.

John calmly walked up to Izzy's room, he had to do this, he had to just give himself up to them, maybe then he could trade himself for her. He knocked on the door. One of Izzy's goons came to the door.

"Where's Izzy? I need to talk to him," John told the goon

"Federal Agent Mcbain, what can I do for you?"

"You've got something for me, what do you want for it?"

"See, now I knew you would figure out what was going on, you really are a lot smarter than you look, too bad your girl over there isn't" Izzy said as he opened the door wider so John could get a quick glance at Natalie, he saw she was tied up, he was surprised she wasn't screaming but he realized she was being calm and trying to figure things out, figure away out of this.

"Come in Agent Mcbain, let's talk, frisk him"

"She's yours, you can have her back, both of them, safe and sound, no harm done for a price, not a large price actually something very small, just a turn of the cheek, a head start of sorts, walk away right now, take your FBI friends with you, I'll go to my meeting and well.. Then I'll let them go.."

"Them?"

"Yeah, you'll find out about it soon enough, I don't want to spoil the surprise."


	23. Chapter 23

ABC Owns Them

* * *

**Chapter 23**

"John don't," was all Natalie said.

Agent Hower was trying so desperately to salvage this operation and was unsure how to do it when he saw John walk back into the room.

"John, what's going on?"

"I need you to look away for a few minutes, don't follow him"

"I already told you, we can't do that"

"I know but I have a plan, have Agent Roberts bring in Harry for questioning, find out where Foley is meeting Martino. Have him beat it out of him if he has to or I'll beat it out of him myself, do it right now, just make the call."

John explained the plan to Hower. That they get the info from Harry, forcibly if they had to, then John would go back and tell Izzy that he had a deal. The only problem was that he knew Izzy wouldn't just let her go once he knew he was free and clear. He was hoping that Natalie had her own plan in motion for trying to get away from him. John went back to Izzy's room and told him he had a deal, none of them would be following him, to his meeting, and then Izzy told John he would let her go after his meeting went successfully, he reassured John that if he thought he was being followed he would kill her.

They shook on the deal as Natalie looked on trying not to show any emotion as she watched John's stone cold face. She shook her head as a tear threatened to fall but pushed it back knowing she needed to be at her best.

John stood not to far from Izzy's car and watched as Izzy and one of his men got into a car, then they brought Natalie out and shoved her into it. He noticed that her hands were no longer tied together and he watched her eyes. Natalie knew that he had some sort of plan, she could read it in his eyes.

John prayed the plan would work as Izzy, after telling John that he would call and tell him where to pick Natalie up once they confirmed that they were not followed, drove off with the woman he loved.

Agent Roberts interrogated Harry for only a few minutes before Harry gave up the information that they needed. Roberts called John with the info. John waited a few minutes to make sure he wasn't being watched and then he took off in his car to the location Harry had given him. Agent Hower and Agent Smith stayed at the Hotel waiting to make sure still all wasn't some kind of ploy to get everyone from the hotel. John raced to the location Harry had given him, he raced as if his life depended on it, and it did. Natalie's life depended on it, she was his heart and his love; with out her he knew he would be dead inside. John radioed in to Bo, it seemed Izzy was heading back towards Llanview for this meeting with Martino. The meeting was supposed to happen down by the docks and although this was FBI business John knew the LPD would be at his disposable. He knew that everyone there would be willing to give their all to have Natalie return to them in one piece, she was one of them and they respected her.

Bo agreed to have men standing by. He didn't ask to many questions and he understood the urgency of the situation.

As Izzy's car drove towards the docks Izzy's driver assured them they weren't followed.

"Good, it seems your boyfriend has kept his promise," Izzy said as Natalie sat next to him in the back seat. The car parked at the lot by the docks and waited for Martino to show so he and Izzy could finish the business they had started before the FBI found out about it.

"So, what do you and Martino got going, You might as well tell me. You're probably gonna kill me anyway, so... tell me. At least I won't die curious. Unless... unless of course you want to make some type of arrangement, a deal of sorts," Natalie told him as she looked into his eye's with a sinful grin.

"You don't stop do you?" he said, enjoying the sudden attention she was showing him. Although he wasn't stupid he played along. It wouldn't hurt he thought, why the hell not, she was gorgeous and built.

"No, I don't," she said as she took a hand and forced herself to run it down his arm. Izzy smiled and took his own hand and was about to pull her head in for a rough kiss when his driver interrupted him.

"Martino's here," the driver told Izzy. Izzy licked his lips then gave her a quick harsh kiss and got out of the car.

"I'll be back after my business and we'll finish things between us once and for all," he said as he got out of the car.

Natalie watched as Izzy conducted his business with Martino. She knew she had to try anything to get away from them. She checked the car doors but the driver had her locked in, so she started flirting with the driver. She started to try and work her charms with him, she even climbed over the seat to sit in the front with him to try and persuade him up close and personal but he wasn't going for it.

From a distance Bo and a few Detectives watched as Izzy and Martino talked and then exchange a briefcase for a large duffel bag. As soon as Bo witnessed the exchange he and his men moved in. Just as they were moving in to arrest them Izzy spotted them and ran for his car. Bo screamed at him to stop but Izzy continued to run. When he got to the car his driver quickly unlocked the door so he could jump in. Natalie saw the driver unlock the door for Izzy and tried her hardest and fastest to get out while the door was open but couldn't and the driver sped off as Bo fired a few bullets hitting the side of the car.

John was still racing to the Llanview Docks when he saw Izzy's car being followed by several police cars. He spun his car around in a quick move and joined in the chase. Following behind he was right on Izzy's tail and he could see Natalie in the front seat with the driver. Natalie saw John chasing behind the car and she knew she knew she was going to have to do something to stop this chase. Noting earlier that the car was equipped with front passenger side air bags and forgetting for a few minutes that she was pregnant and shouldn't be taking such risks she surveyed the area.

Heading towards the quarry Natalie decided she couldn't stay idle any longer, she slide closer to the driver little by little as she saw Izzy watching John's car and the other cop cars out the back window. As she waited for the right moment she looked out to her side and timed it perfectly. Elbowing the driver in the face, grabbing the wheel and pulling it to the left she crashed them into a large pile of gravel. The car made its way half way thru the pile of gravel before it came to a stop. The airbags went off in the front and the force of the air bags combined with the sudden stop caused both Natalie and the driver to be knocked unconscious.

Izzy had turned back to see what Natalie had done but it was too late, the car was already in a large gravel pile. So he grabbed his gun and started to climb out of the car thru the window.

John saw the car swerve and his heart stopped; he felt better when he saw it crash into a pile of gravel rather than a concrete wall that was on the right side of the car. Not knowing who was hurt he brought his car to a screeching halt and jumped out. Running over to Izzy's car with his gun drawn he saw Izzy running frantically away from the car.

"Stop!" John screamed, "FBI !" When Izzy didn't listen and instead aimed his gun at John, ready to take a shot, John crouched down and leapt at him before he could fire. Crashing down in pile Izzy lost his gun and the 2 men began to fight for John's. As they continued to struggle for the gun Izzy knew he wasn't going to get out of this alive. The other officers screamed for Izzy to stop or they would shoot. As they continued to fight for the gun suddenly the gun went off.

Izzy stood up covered in blood and Johns gun in his hand. Bo didn't say a word as Izzy raised the gun and aimed it sideways ready to fire, instead firing three shots into Izzy's chest.

Izzy's body jerked as the slugs tore through his body then collapsed into a bloody heap onto the ground. Bo ran to John as one of the other officers called for an ambulance not even noticing that Tony and Agent Hower until Tony knelt down next to John. As they waited for the ambulance John, who could barely talk, pulled on Tony's hand indicating he want to say something.

"Natalie," John gasped out then sunk into oblivion. Tony held on to his friend as he heard an officer scream for Bo.

"Commissioner, how long before the ambulance gets here? Natalie won't wake up!"


	24. Chapter 24

ABC Owns them

* * *

**Chapter 24**

Almost five minutes later the ambulance arrived and quickly loaded John onto a gurney and raced him to the hospital, as a second ambulance loaded Natalie and raced her too to Llanview Hospital.

Michael was on duty when the both gurneys almost collided coming into the ER, Michael saw both gurneys, he looked back and forth between the two of them and didn't know what to do first, he assessed that John was more serious so he went with him into the exam room to help the attending physician care for him, to try and get the bleeding under control. After being told by several nurses and being ordered out of the room because of protocol with family members Michael went to find out about Natalie, he avoided the nurses station as he saw His Mom and some of Nat's family starting to gather.

Michael walked into the exam room where a doctor was examining Nat, he spoke with the doctor, he informed him that she was pregnant, the doctor tried to wake her, but she wasn't waking, they started to perform tests, Michael called for the OBG on duty to come down to the ER to do an ultrasound on the baby. All of a sudden out of the blue out of nowhere, with no explanation Natalie's blood pressure dropped and she flat lined, Michael automatically started helping the Dr. with compressions, knowing that if she was out to long it could cause damage to the baby.

Down the hall the doctors worked on John, they seem to be controlling the bleeding and was about to send him to the operating room when his blood pressure dropped drastically and he flat lined.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"John" Natalie said looking through a cloud of fog

"I'm right here babe, follow my voice," he told her as they saw each other thru the disappearing fog. They smiled at each other, and joined hands.


	25. Chapter 25

ABC Owns them

* * *

**Chapter 25**

" John, what are we doing here, what is this place?"

"I don't know" John said as they looked around, they both looked thru what seem to be a cloud of fog and saw the back of a man's head.

Natalie approached the man, as she spoke the man turned around.

"Excuse me sir, where are we?"

"Dad?" John said as the man walked closer to him and reached a hand out to touch John's face.

"Johnny, it's been along time son" John's dad said

"Dad, is it really you?"

"Yeah, it's me son, but we don't have much time, you and your pretty red head need to go back, so we need to make this quick."

"I don't understand, what? Why are we here?" John asked confused

"I need to tell you, to tell you that I love you son, that I'm proud of you"

"But dad" John said as he closed his eye's for a moment

"Why is she here too?" John asked as he reopened his eyes

"Cause son, I needed your heart to be here, so you could hear me and since she holds it, I thought I should meet her. Meet the woman who will give you the wonderful life that you deserve " Thomas told John as he looked towards Natalie who was quiet this whole time.

"Now, introduce me to your heart John, you both need to get back and quickly, your future depends on it, your child depends on it" Thomas told John as John got a confused look on his face

" What?" John said as Natalie stepped forward

"I'm Natalie, it's nice to meet you" Natalie said as she put her hand out to Thomas to shake, he didn't shake it, he pulled her into a hug, he whispered for her to take care of John, for them to take care of each other.

Natalie turned to John and she felt a pounding on her chest. Her pressure jumped up quickly and she was starting to gain conciseness.

A nurse ran into Nat's room and whispered something to Michael about John, Natalie was still to out of it to know what was going on, Michael ran into the room with John, just in time to see him slightly gain consciences, his pressure was normal and they were again wheeling him out over to the operating room to remove the bullet and stop the bleeding the bullet caused. John held his hand out for Michael.

"I'm having a child" John said softly, Michael stood back as they took John out and shook his head. It was the weirdest thing; it seemed they both crashed at once, and came back at the same time. He wasn't as alarmed about John knowing about the Baby, he just figured Nat must have told him.

Twenty minutes later the Buchanan's were all in the hallway along with the McBain's praying an waiting for news on John's surgery, Michael had informed them that Natalie was going to be fine, he had gone back in to be with her as the OBG was there performing an ultrasound to make sure the baby was alright.

"Michael how is he?" she asked as the Dr. set up her equipment

"I don't know Nat, he's still in surgery"

"I... I..."

"Ms. Buchanan, we are going to get started now"

"No, not yet, Michael I can't do this till I know he's alright, I don't want to see my child till I know his or her fathers going to be alright"

"Natalie, you need to get the baby checked out, if there's something wrong it may be possible to try and fix it now, my brother would kill me if I didn't give the two of the very best care, now lay back down and let the doctor tell you my niece or nephew is fine"

"You know, you look a lot more like your dad than John does" Natalie said as she laid down on the table and let the Dr start the ultrasound. Michael looked at Natalie confused, he couldn't quite figure out how she knew what his dad looked like; he shook his confusion off and helped the other Dr with Nat's ultrasound.

First Nat heard a strong heart beat, without realizing it she smiled widely, it was music to her ears, and then she saw something on the screen the Dr. said it was the baby. Although it didn't look like much to her, it was the most beautiful thing she had seen. Finally the ultrasound was over, the Dr informed Natalie that everything was fine with the baby, he or she was healthy and that the both of them were lucky, very lucky that someone up there must have been looking out for them, Natalie again smiled knowing who it was watching over them. The Dr left Michael and Natalie alone.

"Is he still in surgery Michael?" she asked and Michael nodded yes.

"I'm going by the OR" Natalie said as she started to stand up.

"No, Nat you need to rest"

"Michael I'm getting up and I'm going to the OR, to stand outside that door till someone comes out and tells me he's alright, and you can not stop me!" Natalie said loud enough for all the family in the hall to hear, they turned to themselves and chuckled knowing and thanking God she was alright, they also knew Michael didn't stand a chance with getting Natalie to stay in that room, when Natalie was determined nothing stood in her way.

A few minutes later Michael came out wheeling Natalie in a wheel chair, they stopped briefly to see her family.

"Honey, are you alright?" Vicky asked her as she approached her in the wheel chair

"Physically I'm fine, but emotionally I'm a wreck, I'll be better once John's out of surgery "

"Excuse me, Michael told me he'd take me near the operating room to wait"

"Well, actually you told me I was taking you to the operating room to wait" Michael said giving her a small smirk. Natalie glared back at him.

"Okay, Okay, we're going" Michael said as he saw he face glaring at him, he pushed her over outside the operating room, the two of them stood waiting for a few minutes when Eve too walked over to the operating room to be closer to John, Eve had two cups of coffee in her hands, Michael took them from her.

"Give Natalie the decaf, she shouldn't have the caffeine" Eve told Michael and Natalie gave Michael another glare.

"Michael!" Natalie said testy

"I didn't say anything Nat, I swear, I didn't" Michael said as he put his hands up in defense from her angry glares

"I guess John's gonna be the last to know" Natalie said shaking her head

"What?" Michael said confused

"John doesn't know?"

"Of course he doesn't know yet, I've been a little bit busy Michael incase you haven't noticed"

"This isn't making any sense, Mom how did you know?"

"I ... this is going to sound strange but.. I closed my eye's a little while ago and I.. I saw your dad, he told me, I wasn't sure it was true but it was a feeling I had"

"You mean you saw him too?"

"What?"

"Never mind it's not important," Natalie said with a smile on her face

"It's not important, John's what's important right now and he's going to be fine," Natalie said with confidence as if knowing it to be true.

About a half hour passed as the three of them waited, waited for the good news that Natalie knew was on its way. The surgeon walked out of the Operating room and walked over to them.

"What room are you moving him to, I'd like to be there when he wakes up" Natalie told the Dr as the Dr looked confused and dumbfounded by her question.

"I haven't even told you He's going to be alright yet," the Dr said not knowing what else to say

"Well, if it makes you feel better to say than say it and then tell me what room he'll be in and when I should expect him to wake" Natalie told him and the Dr looked at her and slightly laughed.

"Room 421, and he should be waking in about an hour or so" Natalie heard him and got herself out of the wheel chair and proceeded to walk down the hall when the Dr called after her.

"I guess it wouldn't do me any good to tell you he shouldn't have visitors," the Dr said still smiling at her as she walked away

"Nope" Natalie said as she continued to walk towards his room


	26. Chapter 26

ABC Owns them

* * *

**Chapter 26**

Natalie made her way to the elevator, as she waited for it to take her to the fourth floor things hit her, she hadn't really had anytime till now to just decompress, to just think about all that had happened today, first she found out she was pregnant with his child, then she thought she was just getting information to catch Izzy for his crimes, and for what he did to her last month, next thing she knew Izzy had her again, he was striking a deal with John so he could go meet Martino without being followed, she shook her head as the elevator doors opened and she stepped inside.

Natalie began to shake, for no apparent reason she felt her body shake, she continued to think about what else happened tonight, about what could've happened tonight, how she almost lost it, and lost it all, lost what she felt she had just found, John and ... and a baby. She was having a baby and although when Michael first told her it was true she seemed taken back a bit, she was excited about it, she seemed to be content with the idea of being pregnant, and with John's baby. She really didn't know how else to describe what she was feeling about having his baby, it was.. it was just.. it just .. just felt right, good, her heart felt content with it. And although this wasn't the plan, a baby wasn't in the plan, yeah, maybe when she was married to Chris, but now, now with John. She was happy about it; she touched her stomach gently and smiled as the elevator came to a stop and the door opened to let her off.

Natalie walked towards his room and she began to think about the kind of life they could have together, John, the baby and herself, what an amazing life the three of them could have, that was... that was if, he wanted this, a baby, she started getting insecure about it for a few minutes, what if John didn't want a baby? To have a child? Children even? What if he didn't even want a commitment or want them to be more? She shook her head trying so desperately to clear her doubts that were forming in her head, she just couldn't, she hadn't known him long enough to know about these things, to even know what kind of father he would be.

Natalie approached his room and stopped before going into it, she stood up against the wall by the door and closed her eyes tightly, tightly to try and imagine what John would be like as a father, as the father of her child. When she closed her eye's she saw it, she remembered it, what she saw when she seem to be between to places, his dad. She sighed a sigh of relief as she began to feel content again. She opened her eyes, pulled herself off the wall and walked into his room ready, ready to give him the news, the blessed news of them sharing a child together, something beautiful that was conceived out of them sharing their hearts with each other.

Natalie walked into his room, as she saw a nurse by his bed checking him as she walked in.

"I'm sorry Ms. he's not to have any visitors yet, not till he wakes" the nurse told Nat and Nat ignored her, Natalie laid herself next to him in the bed, in the little space that his body didn't occupy. The nurse was getting rather angry at this point at Nat's defiance of the rules.

"Ms. you can't do that, no one, and I mean No one is allowed in here none the less in his bed" the nurse said staring at Natalie as she continued to totally ignore the woman, the nurse started getting more and more angry.

"If you don't get out of that bed and out of this room, I'll have you thrown out" the nurse said and Natalie finally acknowledged her words.

"Do what you gotta do, but there's no one getting me out of this bed" Natalie told the nurse as the nurse pushed the call button for security, the nurse started tapping her foot as she waited a few minutes for security. After a few minutes the nurse left the room to go find security herself, Natalie looked out of the door and saw Michael talking to the nurse and they both looked at her briefly. The nurse walked away steamed and Michael laughed, he walked into John's room.

"Seems your starting more trouble again" Michael told Nat as he looked over at a still sleeping John

"I don't try and start trouble," Natalie said as they heard a voice

"It just finds her," John said softly as he woke ahead of schedule.

Natalie heard him and she couldn't help but get teary eyed, he was awake, she looked at him as he still looked very weak, his eyes couldn't stay open yet and they kept fluttering closed, he tried so hard to keep them open so he could look at her but he was still some what under the anesthesia, he wasn't completely out of it yet.

"Hey" Natalie said as she saw him weakly pick his hand up for her to hold.

"I've woken up to see you and all you can say is Hey" John told her and he smiled slightly while his eye's still fluttered open and closed.

Natalie saw how anxious he was to try and keep his eyes open so he could see her, see for himself she was okay. Natalie took his hand and brought it to her face, she placed his hand on her face and held it in place on her cheek.

"Keep them closed John, don't fight it, I'm fine, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, you need to rest now while you still can" Natalie told him as she felt his hand take over control on her face. He felt her warmth and he closed his eye's knowing she was all right.

"That's right, I won't have any time to rest once the baby comes" John said groggy and Natalie smiled, John traced her lips with his fingers and felt her smile. Natalie leaned her head down slightly resting on his.

"That's right John, neither of us will be getting any sleep once our baby comes along" Natalie said as she closed her eye's and tried to rest herself.


	27. Chapter 27

ABC Owns them

* * *

**Chapter 27**

John lay awake in the hospital bed unable to move, he was extremely uncomfortable from the surgery he had, had a just a few hours ago, he turned his head to the right slightly to an opened up his eye's, to see the most beautiful site he thought he had ever seen, she was on the bed next to him sound asleep, she was all bunched up with barely any room and he wondered how comfortable she really was, he slowly tried to move to give her more room but barely could. He took his hand and gently ran it down her beautiful messed up hair, he smiled slightly at just the feel of it, the site of her, a sight he was so nervous that he wouldn't see alive again.

John shook his head knowing it had been a long day, a very long day, he was thinking of her this morning, as he usually did, since she seemed to be all that occupied his mind since meeting her, the day was going as usual, no different than yesterday, waiting for Martino to show, waiting for that sleaze Izzy to do something stupid, and then.. Then she was there, he shook his head still not believing it, her partner, the idiot that she trusted with her life, sold her out, he was on the take, and he took her and offered her up, to be killed, to be used as leverage. John's hand that wasn't touching her hair formed a tight fist, he was pissed, today could've caused her more grief, caused him to lose something, something that became so dear to him, so dear to who he was to be in life, even something so dear to his future, he could've lost them.

Them he thought, his mood changed a bit, he softened at the thought of her having his baby, he remembered his dream, or was it something else he thought, either way, it turned out to be true, she was pregnant, they were pregnant, she was going to give him an amazing gift, another gift he thought, she had already given him something he thought he'd never have, and now, this, a baby, a child, he just couldn't help but smile and ignore all the pain and all the fear that he had felt today.

Natalie opened up her eye's slowly to see him awake and watching her, she smiled at him and he smiled back.

"This is real right? It's not.. It's not something else," Natalie asked and he knew she was referring to the same dream he had, had, the one with his dad in it.

"Oh, it's real Natalie, it's so real, that's it's almost scary" John told her as they continued to look into each others eyes

"John, do you remember anything, I mean anything about when you were brought in here, some weird stuff happened, I think it happened to the both of us"

"I know what you are referring to and yes, it happened, and yes it was weird but.. but it was good too, you know, I mean..."

"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean" she said and she leaned over gently and kissed him. John's hand moved from where it had been lingering on her side and went on top of her stomach. Natalie felt his hand on her stomach and she placed hers on top of his.

"Are you alright with this? I mean.. I don't even know how you feel about babies and children and stuff, there's still so much we don't know about each other"

"Alright with this, you mean with you giving me a child, are you kidding? If I wasn't in this bed I would probably be out telling the whole world about it, and how happy I am about it, how lucky I am, lucky to have you, to be in love with you, to have actually found love with you" John said and he brought his hand to her face.

"I don't think I've told you yet, well not when you were awake to hear it, I know we've danced around the words but.. I Love You Natalie, so much" John told her and she leaned in for another gentle kiss. Natalei smiled brighty after their kiss, she bit down on her bottom lip .

"I can't believe I'm saying this, feeling this after only knowing you such a short period of time, but.. I've known from the beginning, probably from our first kiss, I Love You John Mcbain" Natalie told him and he smiled at hearing her words.

"Do you think you could say that again, I mean, I'm not sure I really heard it the first time?" John said as he let out a small chuckle, Natalie laughed

"I Love you, you John Mcbain, you" Natalie told him as Michael walked in the room while they were softly kissing on the bed, they didn't hear or see him, they were wrapped up in themselves, finally after standing there and becoming uncomfortable Michael cleared his throat to get their attention.

"Excuse me, I'm really sorry to interrupt but I need to check John out, make sure he's working properly" Michael told them as Natalie started to move off the bed.

"No, problem Michael, we wouldn't want John not to work properly" Natalie said as she flashed a bright devious smile and stole a quick kiss from John before heading towards the door to give them some privacy.

"Yuck, Nat! Do you think you could keep those little innuendo's for the bedroom?" Michael said and he laughed.

"Wait! Wait! Are you going out to see your family and my mom?" Michael asked and she nodded yes.

"Well, I should warn you, things aren't a secret anymore, and before you yell at me.. I didn't do it, my mom told Marcie and well... well Marcie told..."

"Everyone" Natalie finished his sentence and they both laughed.

"Hey, Mikey knew before me?" John asked kidding around, Natalie walked back over towards him before she spoke.

"Yep, he was my doctor, he even did my internal exam" Natalie said and she saw John's face change, he looked at her serious face before she kissed him and then over at Michael who had a pretty serious face on to. He thought maybe she was kidding but he just wasn't sure. He shook his head a few times before he asked.

"Your what, your internal exam, like my brother saw ... down there...I..."

"I am a Doctor John" Michael said and he and Nat couldn't keep a serious face any longer. They started to laugh. John caught on to there little joke and smirked at them.

"Very funny, very funny you two" John said as Nat left the room, she told him she'd be back in a few minutes when Michael was done examining him.

Michael checked over john's stitches and his vitals

"Do you know how Lucky you are? You could've died John, actually Nat or the baby could've died too"

" I know Mikey, I don't need you to remind me of that"

"I'm just saying John, I mean your job is dangerous and her job is dangerous and I.. I don't want my niece or nephew to ever have to go thru what we went thru losing dad"

"Mike, just say what's on your mind, what are you getting at?"

" I just think maybe what happened tonight, what happened last month to her should be a wake up call, to the both of you, maybe you should both think about career changes, especially Nat in her condition"

"Michael, your my brother and I understand you care for me and even that you care for Nat but this really isn't your place to say, it really isn't any of your business, anyways, now that Nat's pregnant she won't be working any more"

"I won't be what!" Natalie asked as she walked in to hear John just assume she would give up being a cop cause she was with child.

"I think I better go" Michael said and he left the room knowing this might get heated. Natalie walked calmly over to John, sat in the seat next to him in the bed.

"John, I think when you're all healed we have a lot of things to discuss"

"We can discuss them now, I'm up to it"

"They can wait a little longer"

"No, Nat, I don't want anything with us to wait any longer, just say what you've gotta say"

"Alright then, I never said I was going to give up being a cop because I'm having a baby, plenty of woman cops have babies, I may have to take it easy, maybe take different type assignments, till after the baby is born but..."

"Natalie I just... just assumed you want to stay home and take care of yourself and our baby you're carrying, and maybe even... even stay home afterwards too."

"See, this is just something about each other we don't know, is that what you want from me? To stay home and take care of our child, to be the little woman," Natalie asked him and she saw him think about it.

"I.. do.. I think I do... this child, you, you're both very important to me and I want you somewhere safe, not running around trying to catch criminals.

"John, I think we are going to have a problem"


	28. Chapter 28

**ABC Owns them**

* * *

**Chapter 28**

"I think maybe you and I need to discuss things more, more after you're better, I think then we'll both know what we want and how we want to go about things with the way we feel for each other and with the baby"

"Natalie, I know what I want know, I want you to marry me, to be my wife"

"Marry me Natalie, we can have our baby and be a family"

"John, I... I don't know"

"What! You love me, we love each other"

"Yeah, that's right"

"So, what's the problem?"

"I would love nothing more than to Marry you John, have our baby be a family but... but"

"But What?"

"I don't know if I'm willing to give up being a cop, maybe, but I think before we do anything, I mean before we decide to get married we need to know more about each other"

'There you go again with the 'we don't each other well enough' stuff. Our hearts know each other well enough, our bodies knew each other well enough to make a baby, and we know enough about each other to get married"

"Listen, don't get mad, I'm not trying to give you a hard time, I just feel if we are going to get married we need to know a little more about each other first. I've been married before John, I really want to do it right this time, I don't want to make any mistakes this time around, and I want it to last forever, can you just understand that, please?"

" Yeah, I can see your point, but... when, when will we be able to get married, when are we going to know enough about each other, how will we know. I really want us to be married before our baby is born"

"We will be, and as for when will we know enough, we can just wing it, we'll know when we've learned enough, for god's sake John, you haven't even met my brothers or even my father.

" Well I know Bo, doesn't that count for something?" John said and he smiled,

"Yeah, that counts for a lot, but we need to know more"

"Alright, please? I want this to work out as much as you do, lets just be patient a little longer, get to know each other and then we'll know when the time is right to get married and build a family."

"Okay, but as soon as we feel it's time, that we know enough about each other" Natalie nodded yes and she kissed him. She got an idea.

"Why don't we go away some where? I mean when you're all healed, a trip, so we can get to know each other better, no distractions or anything"

"Like a honeymoon?" John said with a sexy smile as he leaned over with his hand an squeezed her boob in his hand

"John! Your brother could walk in or your mom, or..."

"My brothers a Dr remember and well as for my mom.. she's already caught us almost naked so this would be nothing new to her"

"Very funny, no not a honeymoon, a trip, a vacation,"

"Come on It'll be fun, just the two of us, no case, no family to walk in on us"

"You mean the three of us" he said with a smile and touched her stomach,

"Yeah, I mean the three of us" John said and Natalie touched his cheek with her hand, they both smiled at each other.

Four days went by and John was being released from the Hospital, Natalie had spent almost every moment with him over the last few days, she even spent every night next to him scrunched up in his hospital bed. She got yelled at a few times, even got threatened with being thrown out but used the Buchanan name to get her way, she had smiled after throwing it around so freely, that name sure did come in handy for some things, and with little luck she wasn't going to have it for much longer. She would be changing it yet again, but this time, this time she knew once she changed it, it would be forever, she would be Natalie Mcbain, or Mrs. John Mcbain, forever, just how she wanted it, just how just was planning on it, that was after, after they got to know each other better.

Natalie had left him early this morning, the morning of his release to get a few things ready for him coming home, home with him, he really didn't have a home here in Llanview but she considered where ever she was, where ever they were together, it would be home.

Natalie walked over towards his room with a bag with some clothes for him and smiled at her uncle waiting outside his room.

"Hey, what's going on? Why are you out here?" Natalie said as she kissed his cheek.

"Eve's in with John, they needed a little privacy" Bo told her as she got a curious look on her face, she walked over by the window to the room to see in but only saw Eve kissing her son goodbye.

"Looks like they're done, lets go see what that was all about," Natalie said as she opened his door with a smile.

"Hey, you finally made it back" John said as he looked guilty about something, Natalie just gave him a curious look and leaned in and kissed him, she went over and kissed Eve hello also.

"So, what's going on that My Uncle has to wait in the hall about?"

"Nothing, nothing at all" Eve said

"Hmmmmm.." Natalie said not believing her

"Did your uncle tell you?" John said changing the subject quickly

"Tell me what?" Natalie asked still curious

"I've been hired"

"What?" Natalie said with a huge smile forming on her face

"Yeah, John is going to start as my new Chief of Detectives in a few weeks"

"Really?" Natalie asked starting to beam, she knew he said he wouldn't leave her if they started this, if they fell in love with each other, and now with the baby but they hadn't discussed it over these last few days, she was so excited by it. She walked closer to him, she forgot anyone else was in the room and she leaned in and gave him a deep kiss.

Bo and Eve both looked at each other and smiled, then they realized that the two of them forgot they were even in the room, they left quietly when they heard Natalie call out behind them as they left.

"Don't forget, Dinner at seven" she told them and they screamed back that they remembered. John looked at her.

"What was that all about?" he asked confused

"How do you feel?" Natalie asked ignoring the question

"I'm fine, but answer my question"

"They're coming to our place for dinner tonight, along with the rest of my family"

John was beaming, she said there place, as in his and hers, he was so excited about hearing her say that, that he didn't realize she said her whole family till a few minutes had passed.

"Did you say the rest of your family too?" John asked a little shell shocked, he just remembered how many of them there was. There were a lot of them

"Yup, you know so we can get to know each other better"


	29. Chapter 29

ABC Owns them

* * *

**Chapter 29**

"Hey, this isn't the way to your apartment" John stated, as he didn't recognize where they were going.

"I never said I'd be taking us to my apartment"

"I just assumed that was what you meant by taking us home"

"Well, it wasn't, actually I've moved, moved again, you'll see, just be quiet and rest that handsome head of yours"

"Anybody ever tell you you're bossy?"

"Yup, heard it a few times" she said and she laughed, he rested his head for a few minutes and they arrived, she got out of the car and tried to go over and help him out when he had already gotten out of the car by the time she had gotten over there.

"Where are we? What is this place?" He asked as she went to the front door and opened it.

"It's my home, it's my cottage, it's the only place I've ever really loved"

"Yeah? I can see why, it's warm"

"Yeah, that it is, I use to... well.. I lived here with Chris, this was actually where I caught him.. well. you know about that. I left that night and felt it was to difficult to be here again, but I missed the place, the apartment just never felt good to me, so I... felt it was time to come home, I wanted you to come home with me, that is if, you like it, if you want to be home with me, home in this house" Natalie said as she saw him smile, he walked closer to her and kissed her.

"Yeah, I think it feels like home to me too" He said and he kissed her again only deeper this time.

"John" she said as he was getting carried away

"I know, the Dr says no excitement, hey does that mean I can bail on meeting your family tonight?" he asked laughing

"No!"

" It was worth a shot wasn't it?"

"Are you alright to walk the stairs, I wanna show you the bedrooms"

"Okay, now you're talking"

"Get your mind out of the gutter Mcbain, you're still recovering" she said and led him up stairs towards the bedroom

"Is this one our room?" he asked and she nodded yes

"I'm not sure how to say this... but... is that the same bed you shared with your ex husband? Don't get me wrong, I don't mind making our own memories in this place but, I don't want to ever get the image of you and that guy in my head, I don't want to think about it ever, it gives my the willy gillies and -----"

" John, it's a new bed, look, it still has the tags on"

"Good, you do know it's illegal to remove those things don't you" he said and he laughed. John walked back into the hall and into the bedroom next to their room.

"This will be the baby's room?" he asked and she smiled, it was nice she thought he seemed to be so excited about the baby. She certainly didn't expect him to be like this, she didn't really think he would be unhappy about it, but he seem to truly be happy with it, and it showed, she just didn't think he would show it to people, to strangers as much, leaving the hospital today, he had made her laugh cause he was so excited he had told two nurses, a deliveryman and the clerk at the front entrance. Natalie continued to smile, lost in her own thoughts.

"Would you like to let me in on the joke?" he asked smiling at her face, she was thinking to herself and it was amusing, she was so amusing to watch, she smiled and let out a small laugh.

"No, joke, just thinking how cute you are"

"Of course you are, everyone thinks that," he said cockily and she went over and slapped him lightly.

" Now, back to our kids room, Blue, I think we should paint it blue, not a light blue color but a medium tone"

"Wait a minute buddy, my daughter ain't having a blue room"

" You're mistaken again babe, the blue room is for you son, when he's born"

"Are you trying to tell me you want our baby to be a boy?" she said and she looked at him with a curious face not knowing if he was kidding or not.

"Honey, what ever it is, boy or girl, it's fine with me, I was only kidding" he said and he kissed her

'As long as it's healthy'

"Yes, as long as it's healthy" he said and he slowly moved her back towards the wall as he started taking her mouth. She pushed him off.

"No! Doctors orders, and we don't have time anyways, you need to rest my family will be here in a few hours for dinner"

"Ugh... you had to remind me"

John rested for a few hours before he woke to a house full of people, he sat up in bed and prepared himself, tried to anyways, tried to prepare himself for a whole lot of looks and questions, questions about personal stuff to boot, stuff he didn't like to talk about, stuff he just started to talk to her about, he hated talking about that kind of stuff, but he knew her family would want answers, would want to see for themselves what she was getting into, not that it mattered what they thought, Natalie wasn't the type to have her family dictate her life, he just wanted things to go smooth for them, for her, she deserved this, tonight to go easy, uneventful. John heard a knocking on the door.

"John" he heard her niece Alissa say, well it would be his niece someday soon, soon he hoped.

"Aunt Natalie asked me to make sure you were awake, she left your clothes on the nightstand" Alissa said and John answered the door.

"Hey, honey how are you?" John leaned down to Alissa and asked

"I'm fine, oh, you're already dressed, Aunt Natalie I'll be happy, great Grandpa's been steam up the place annoying her wanting to know when you were coming down"

"He's giving her a hard time Huh?"

"Yup, but Aunt Natalie gave it right back, she don't take his ish like everyone else, he yells, she yells right back, my mommy says that's cause they the same."

"They are, are they?"

"Yep, mommy says they both have a lot of hot air at times and they're real pork headed" Alissa said and John laughed

"I think its Pigheaded"

"Can you do me a favor and tell your aunt I'll be down in ten minutes" he told Alissa

"Hey, you were telling the truth, you might end up being my uncle after all Huh?" Alissa said before she headed down the stairs

"Yup, you might even be getting that cousin you wanted after all" John said and he smiled at her

"I know, Mommy already told me but it's a secret so don't tell Aunt Natalie I already know"

John laughed and got himself dressed, he walked down the stairs, he stuck his hand in his pocket and felt it, the ring, his mom's ring, he thought about if he could do this tonight, if it would make things better for her tonight, if she would mind being asked with her family around, he just didn't know, it was one of the things he didn't know about her yet, did she like big scenes, or did she like things more private, he pushed the ring back all the way down in his pocket and decided tonight wouldn't be the right time, she didn't come across as someone who liked a public display and either was he, he shook his head hoping he wasn't wrong as he came to the bottom of the stairs, he saw her from across the room, she was most definitely glowing, he started to make his way towards her when a older gentleman make his way by him.

"John, I would imagine" Clint said as he approached John by the stairs

"Yes, sir"

"I'm Natalie father, we need to have a few words in private" Clint told John; John nodded and went outside the front door with him for a few minutes.

The two men were silent for a few minutes till they got outside.

"We need to discuss my daughter, I want to know about your intentions"

"Well...I... we..."

"Just spit it out son, don't pussy foot around the words, just speak"

"We plan on getting to know each other better and then I want to marry her, I'd marry her now but your daughter is a bit stubborn and wants us to know each other better, and since there is no talking to her when she is obviously like that, I'm going along with it, I love her very much and plan on raising our child together in a loving family." John told him quickly and nervously, Clint let out a small laugh

"Is that it?" Clint asked trying not to smile but be stern, he knew this was a bit intimidating for the guy, all these people, all this family but he still needed him to understand something.

"No that's not it, your name, your first name or should I call you Mr. Buchanan?" john said starting to get his courage back up again, he was amazing he thought, he could handle himself so well under all sorts of pressure with the job but with something like this, something important to her, he felt like mush.

"Clint, you can call me Clint, and it's very nice to meet you john" Clint said as he put out his hand for John to shake, john shook his hand and told him it was nice to meet him too.

"One thing I've gotta tell ya John before we go back inside, if you hurt her, do anything to her, she won't be able to stop me, or her brothers, or her granddad from taking care of business, she didn't let us help handle things with that jerk of an Ex but if you hurt my girl, you better run, and fast"

"Sir, I won't ever do anything to hurt your daughter I love her too much, she means too much to me"

"Can't say I haven't heard that before, but I think I believe you son, not like ... well I never really liked him, he was an artist type, not really manly if you know what I mean"

John and Clint went back inside for the party, Natalie saw them walk back and in and she walked over to john as Clint walked away. She leaned into his ear, and whispered.

"Did he give you the father speech?"

"What father speech?" John asked grinning

"You know the father speech that he'll kill you if you do anything to me, you know the one I'm sure you'll use when our daughter has a man in her life." Natalie said and he smiled at her.

"It's gonna be a boy babe, I can tell" he said as he laughed at her face.

'We'll see' she said and they started to mingle.


	30. Chapter 30

ABC Owns them

* * *

**Chapter 30**

The rest of the dinner party went off uneventful; John met everyone, all of Natalie's family and even a few family friends. It was a long night and everyone went home, John had told Natalie that he was tired so she insisted he go up to sleep as she finished cleaning up the kitchen.

About twenty minutes later Natalie walked towards the bedroom when she heard music coming from it, she shook her head and opened the bedroom door, a smile started to form on her face as all she saw were candles lit all over her bedroom, their bedroom. She walked in and saw a small radio in the corner of the room, there was some slow music playing on it and she looked around the room for him, she didn't see him. Finally after a few minutes he came out of the bathroom with two filed Champagne glasses in his hands.

"I thought you would've been a few minutes longer" John said as he put the glasses down on a small table she had by the window.

"What's going on? What's all this?" she asked as he started to walk closer to her.

"Lets dance" he told her as he took her hand and slowly danced with her, up against her

"Are you sure you should be doing this?"

"Of course, the Dr didn't say anything about not Dancing" he said and he smiled. He looked into her blue eye's and knew now was the right time, this was their style, her style, private, just the two of them.

"Really John, what's going on?" she asked with a bit of a smirk on her face knowing he was up to something

" Well... I debated about doing this earlier and ..."

"Doing this earlier with my family here?"

"Babe, can you just keep the questions till I'm done, this isn't the easiest thing for me" He said and he saw her make a motion of locking her lips and throwing away the key, he laughed as they continued to slow dance.

" I wasn't sure.. wasn't sure how to do this, to go about it, I mean, you .. well I know you like stuff private, so I decided this would be the best way"

"The best way for what?"

"Natalie, your mouth, remember?"

"Sorry, go on it's your show"

"I'm... I'm just gonna do it" John said realizing he had to just go for it, ask her, and ask her now, he was so anxious to ask her all day and now was his chance. He let go of her hand, and got down on one knee. Natalie gasped when she saw him on his knee.

"Natalie Buchanan, will you marry me?" John said and then he held his breath for a few minutes as he held out a ring for her. After she didn't say anything for a few minutes he got nervous and spoke again.

"We can be engaged for how ever long you want to be, till we know each other better, I just wanted you to have a commitment of some sorts, I just want us to commit to each other" John said as he saw her eye's get glassy.

"Say something Natalie, anything" John begged her, as she wasn't saying a word

"I didn't know I was aloud to speak yet" She said softly as she saw him laugh, she smiled as she gave him her hand, John took her hand, put the ring on it. Natalie looked away from his eyes for a minute and just stared at the ring.

"It's beautiful" She said still looking at it, John stood to his feet and touched her hand as he too started to look at it.

"It was my mom's. My dad gave it to her, he didn't have much money when they first got engaged, she brought it to me this morning at the hospital asked me if I'd like to give it to you, she said she was pretty sure you'd like it." he said as he stared out from the ring and into her eye's.

" She was right, I do" Natalie told him as she watched his eye's as he got a little insecure

"You know, if the stone isn't big enough, I can have it replaced with a bigger one," he told her

"Are you kidding? This stone is perfect, this ring is perfect," she said as she leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips.

"Thank you for making this perfect" She told him as they broke apart

"Perfect huh? You don't think maybe I should've waited till I was all healed and we could've made love after all this?"

"No, this is what we are, and we are so much more than just that" she told him.

"Come on, lets change and go to bed" she said as they both changed and got under the covers, Natalie laid her head on his chest and brought her hands on to his chest. He pulled her in as close as possible and they started to snuggle in for the night.

"This is who we are John, this is it" she said as she kissed his chest with her lips, she closed her eye's.

"I love you John Mcbain, and yes I'll Marry you," she said before falling into a content sleep.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next few Days went by fast, John had his checkup with his Doctor and was told everything was fine, today they would be leaving on there trip, there trip to get to know each other better.

John and Natalie were undecided on where to go for their trip so they decided where better to get to know each other than where they both grew up, they took the train to AC, reserved a room at one of the casino's for a few nights.

Natalie took John all around to her favorite spots in AC and some of the places she loved were also favorites of his. They were having such a great time that they hated for it to end, but they knew it would, they didn't discuss serious stuff like work and never touched the subject of Nat quitting her job while she was pregnant, or even quitting after the baby was born. The few times that it had come up she got stubborn and told him point blank it was her decision and only hers, which wasn't completely true but John was learning a lot about Nat's stubbornness.

It was about an hour before they were going to head back to Llanview, back to real life, and Nat just wasn't ready to go back yet.

"Can we go walk on the beach one more time before we go?" she asked him as they were on their way to the train station.

"Yeah, you really want to, It's really cold out today, it is the beginning of December remember?" he asked her as they drove

"I know, I... I just want to hold on, hold on to these past few days a little longer, Please, we won't stay long, I promise, I just want to walk a little "

Natalie and John walked on the cold beach when John could see she was getting a little misty.

"Hey, what's wrong, are you that upset about going back?"

"No, it's not that, I thing it's just my hormones"

"Yeah, are you sure?"

"I don't know what else it could possibility be, I mean ... here I am with you, the man that I've so quickly come to love and I'm having a baby, something I've wanted for a while, there isn't anything to be unhappy about." she told him and he saw her face their was definitely something missing, something going on, he pulled her to his chest and held her tight.

"You know you can tell me anything right, anything"

"I know, I just ...maybe it's just everything over the last couple months catching up to me. Being undercover at the Red Pelican, being beat up by Izzy, taken by Izzy, you almost dying, falling in love with you, getting pregnant, I mean... none of this was planned, and now... now I feel like I'm sure if I want to continue to be a cop, or work even."

"See, I grew up feeling worthless, I didn't have anything, Roxy, although she and I are over it, she was drunk most of the time and she would always tell me how worthless I was, how I would never amount to anything, I grew up feeling as if I would never be important or do anything important in life, and well, I went into the academy for that reason, so it's bothering me now to think about quitting it, as if quitting would make me unimportant again, I'm sorry, I know you can't understand this, lets just forget it alright?"

"Natalie, you are important, you're important to your family, to me, to our child, I just wish you could see that, understand that."

" I know John, I know, it's just a lot for me right now to know what I want and now being pregnant and with us on the verge of us getting Married I..."

" Well that's a good thing right, us getting married, you do still want to marry me don't you?"

"Of course I do, I mean.. I really.. really do"

"Alright then, I know what might make you feel better...lets set a date, we've gotten to know each other, we went on our little trip, lets just do it Natalie, It'll make you feel better,"

"Yeah, I think you may be right" she smiled.

"So when, when do you want to get married"

"How about right before Christmas?"

"Really? You do know Christmas is only three weeks away?"

"Yup, I know, I think I'd like for us to be married for Christmas, that way this year it'll be real special, I could use a real special Christmas, Mine have never been real special before"


	31. Chapter 31

ABC Owns them

* * *

**Chapter 31**

John and Natalie went home from AC and got started on planning their wedding, they had two weeks, they wanted to be married the week before Christmas, they planned a small wedding at Llanfair with a small reception to follow.

Natalie was still working at the station, John was there too as Bo's right hand man in the station, John adapted quickly and comfortably to working as a cop again, he enjoyed it, there was none of the political bullshit that went along with being a FBI agent. He really enjoyed that he could be around her even during the day while at work, although they never let things get in the way he enjoyed just being able to see her passing in the halls, having lunch with her and even talking over cases with her, he really liked the idea that he could be here incase she needed something, she was now almost four months pregnant and she was showing just a little, well he noticed it anyways, but he was still afraid she would get hurt with something, anything, and she and the baby would be hurt or God forbid lost to him forever.

Natalie was still being stubborn on the subject of her quitting or even taking a leave of absence for awhile, he knew it all came back to what she told him on the beach when they left AC but he couldn't push her, this was her decision and he trusted that she would come to the right conclusion in time.

It was two days before the wedding and Natalie was sitting at her desk looking over some files when she felt hands come around her eyes from behind. First thing she noticed was the texture of them, they weren't John's she knew exactly whose they were.

"Get your hands off my eye's" she told Chris as she stood and faced him.

"You used to always love for me to come up behind you and cover your eye's, you use to love all sorts of things from behind," He said as she gave him a repulsed look, she shook her head and decided not to engage in a fight with him.

'Is there something you need a police officer for?" Natalie asked him coldly

" Yeah, I can think of a few things" he said and she noticed his breath smelt like alcohol.

"Chris, you're drunk, do you want me to have one of the officers drive you home?" Natalie asked as he moved towards her quickly fumbling a little and grabbed her lips roughly and kissed them, John was coming out of his office when he saw her being handled by Chris, he charged towards him and thru him up against the wall.

"John, John, he's drunk, he doesn't know what he's doing, don't hurt him" Natalie told John as she walked closer to them, John didn't release Chris yet, he still had him pinned up against the wall.

"John"

"Yeah, listen John, my wife that you knocked up is talking to you" Chris said thinking he was being amusing when John pulled him off the wall a few feet and banged him back against it.

"John!" Natalie yelled a little to loud, John turned to see her face and he let Chris drop.

"You know what Natalie, I don't understand you, understand how or why you put up with his bullshit, since I've known you, you've been putting up with it, just throw him in a freakin cell already would ya" John told her as he glared at him

"It's not that easy John, and you know that" Natalie said softly

"I don't know anything, do what you want to do" John said steamed and he went back into his office. Natalie turned to Chris, helped him up off the floor.

"Seems he's mad at you, I'll marry you again, we can raise your baby together" Chris said and she shook her head.

"Don't be ridiculous, not if you were the last man on earth would I marry you again and let you help me raise mine and John's child." Natalie told him bluntly

Chris sobered a little and fast, he looked at her with a look of hate and he walked crookedly to the station doors and left, Natalie called an young officer over and told him to make sure Chris didn't drive his car home, since he was clearly drunk.

Natalie went to John's office to speak with him after their disagreement but he wasn't there, Gloria told Natalie that John was called out on something. Natalie went back to work feeling bad about what happened. She worked until it was time to go home.

Natalie arrived home sometime after seven to see him sitting on the couch waiting for her. Natalie took a seat next to him and pulled a throw pillow to her chest.

"Hey" she said softly as he turned to look at her, he had a beer in his hand and he took a sip.

"I didn't mean to yell at you," she said as they continued to look at each other

"I didn't mean to yell back at you either," he said as he brought his free hand to her face, she saw he had something on his mind

"What is it John, I know there's something you want to say, say it"

"Okay, I will, I.. I want to know how, why you put up with his shit all the time, why do you protect him"

"I don't protect him John" Natalie answered back defensively

"Yes, you do, he does something and you don't throw him in a cell for it, I'm not saying put him in there long term but scare him a little with it"

"What am I suppose to arrest him for, put him in there for, for still being in Love with me, for kissing me" Natalie told him as she threw the pillow down on the couch

"What! He kissed you!" John shouted, he saw him to close to her, his arms on her but he didn't see the kiss

"John, don't make this a big deal, it isn't, it's... it's.. just Chris" Natalie told him as she saw him still mad, John got up off the couch and started to pace the floor, he ran his hands thru his hair and then looked at her as he felt he was able to speak.

"No, big deal Nat, him going around kissing you, it's no big deal, him thinking or feeling that you are still his wife"

"John"

"No, No, there is something wrong with him Nat, and you not putting a stop to it just makes him worse."

"What! What do you mean me not putting a stop to it, he was drunk tonight"

"Drunk or not he still thinks you to are married or should be married."

"What's gonna happen when we get married, when you're my wife, cause I can tell you now sweetheart he won't be getting away with putting his lips or anything else for that matter on you"

"John, where is this coming from, tell me"

"I've told you, there has to be a reason why? Why you put up with his shit"

"John, I don't know! Okay, alright maybe because we were married once, maybe because when I came to Llanview I was a screw up and he helped me to be who I am today, maybe cause he made me feel like I wasn't that scared worthless girl I was when I was in AC, I don't know"

"You don't owe him Natalie, you don't"

"I know that but.. but if it wasn't for Chris, if it wasn't for him helping me to find myself back then... I ... wouldn't be here with you, I probably wouldn't be able to love you like I do, as much as I do, so... I think I do owe him something, don't you?" Natalie told him as he looked at her as he heard her, his anger was gone, and he took his hand and caressed her cheek

"He still shouldn't be allowed to put his hands on you"

"He's not and he won't do it again, if he does, you can throw him into a cell with one of the biggest perp's we've got, Okay?" she said as she smiled at him. John stayed silent for a few minutes.

"I don't want us to fight, we're getting married in less than two days, and with the baby, I think we should try to keep things calm." she told him and he pulled her into his chest.

"I know, you're right" he said as he kissed the top of her head, he still had a strange feeling about him, there was just something more to Chris Vega that was bothering him. John continued to hold her for a few more minutes when Nat pushed off of him and held her stomach.


	32. Chapter 32

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**Chapter 32**

Natalie held her stomach and looked up at John.

"What is it Babe? Is it the baby?" John asked concern growing inside of him till he saw her smile

"Yeah, it's the baby, I think.. I think I just felt her move, not really a movement but a flutter"

" A what? "

" A flutter, it's sort like a movement but not real strong of one yet, not sure if you'll be able to feel anything, wanna try and feel your daughter" she asked him and he put his hand on her stomach

"You mean my son" John said with a smirk

"What ever" she said with a smile, John continued to hold his hand on her stomach for a few minutes, not being able to feel anything yet.

" Nothing, huh? It won't be long now thou, soon, you should be able to feel her move soon"

"Him" John said with a smile and took her hand, he lead her to the bedroom us they could officially make up.

The next day went by fast, it was Saturday morning, the morning that they would be married at Llanview, John had stayed at the cottage last night and Jessica had insisted that Nat stay with her at the carriage house. Nash had stayed taken Alissa and stayed somewhere else for the night, so the girls could have some alone time together, something they hadn't had in along time.

John had arrived at Llanfair about an hour before the ceremony; he and Michael were getting ready in one of the spare bedrooms.

Natalie was getting dressed in the Carriage house, Jessica had just finished helping to put her hair up and Natalie was finishing her make up, she smiled at herself as she looked at herself in the full length mirror, she touched her baby gently and continued to smile as Jessica walked back in the room.

"Hey" Jess said and she smiled

"What?" Natalie said and she looked back at her thru the mirror.

" You look beautiful, I don't thing I've ever seen you look this good before"

"Thanks, are you trying to tell me I always look bad" Natalie told her joking

"You know what I mean, this is good Nat, you've finally found it"

"Found what"

"The part of you that you've been missing"

"Your heart" Jessica told her and Natalie smiled

-

Inside Llanfair

John was walking into the living room a few minutes ahead of schedule, he saw Alissa with her coat on as she came running toward him.

"Hey" John said to Alissa as she ran almost into him

"Hi, Uncle John, I can start right? It's okay?" she said to him

"Yup, it's almost official so you can start calling me that, when did the snow start?" John asked the little girl as he saw she had snow on her shoes and then he walked closer to the French doors and noticed it was really coming down a lot.

"Awhile ago uncle Johnny" she said and smiled at him, he smiled back at the use of her again saying uncle and this time Johnny instead of John, he preferred that, it just sounded better to him. After a few minutes of them looking at the snow Alissa remembered.

" I've gotta go get Mommy, grand says she needs help with the flowers" Alissa said as she started to skip off towards the terrace

"Wait honey, wait, are you going to the carriage house?" he asked and she nodded her head yes

"Can you give Aunt Natalie a message from me" He asked her, she again nodded and he whispered it in her ear. Alissa smiled at first but then got a goofy look on her face.

"Yuck!" she said and she was off skipping out onto the terrace headed towards the carriage house.

John met up with Michael and they both stood in front of the room and spoke with the priest about the ceremony as family and friends began to take their seats.

Carriage House

" Mommy, Grandma needs you" Alissa said as she entered the Carriage House, she looked and saw Natalie and her mom finishing up with Nat's zipper on her dress.

"Wow! Your look nice Aunt Natalie, real nice" Alissa said and Natalie smiled

"So do you sweetie, so do you" Nat said as she continued to smile at the girl

"Nat you're just about ready, I'll meet you in the kitchen by the back door as we planned." Jess told her and then she grabbed Alissa hand before putting on her coat.

" Alissa honey lets get you all set with your flowers at the house" Jess said and she and Alissa left the room to go to the House.

A few minutes later on the path to the house Alissa remembered she had to give her Aunt the message from John, she told her mom she'd catch back up to her and headed towards the carriage house.

Natalie was again watching herself in the mirror, trying to imagine how handsome John must be looking in his tux, she laughed a little remembering how she thought he'd give her a hard time about wearing one but he surprised her and didn't. She was continuing with her thoughts as this time she did really think she felt the baby move, she leaned her head down and looked at her stomach as her hand tried to feel the kick, she didn't even realize it when someone put their hand over her mouth with a rag, a rag that obviously had something on it to make her sleep, Natalie feel limp into his arms, she was being carried out thru the back French doors of the carriage house.

Fifteen minutes later the ceremony was going to be starting and Jessica had just finished helping with the flower problem, she headed back towards the Carriage house surprised that Natalie wasn't at the back door yet as she should have been by now.

Jessica entered the carriage house and didn't see anyone

"Nat, Natalie" she called out and she looked all around the house but couldn't find her, she didn't even see Alissa, they were probably at the house somewhere and she just missed them. She walked back up to the house.

Jessica entered the house thru the kitchen again, she opened the door slightly and saw John standing in the front of the living room looking around, they were ten minutes behind schedule, Jessica went up the kitchen stairs to look for Natalie and even Alissa, but they were no where to be found, finally she came down the stairs in the foyer and she saw Alissa sitting on the bench kicking her feet around kicking off the snow from her shoes.

"Alissa Honey, were have you been? Do your know where your aunt is?" Jessica asked the girl as the girl paused for a few minutes. Alissa just looked down to her shoes.

In the living room

John was curious to what was going on, he was getting a little bit nervous, Natalie should have been down the aisle and holding his arm by now, something didn't feel right. He excused himself from the priest and walked into the foyer to hear Alissa finally tell her mom about Natalie.

"She left with Uncle Chris" The kid said upset when Jessica turned to see John standing behind her.


	33. Chapter 33

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**Chapter 33**

" Alissa, what did you just say?" John asked anxiously, not wanting to frighten the child, she was obviously upset enough, but wanting answers none the less.

"I .. I went back, to tell her, cause I forgot, and.. I saw Uncle Chris he was holding her. He said she didn't feel good, said she asked him to help her feel better, that he was gonna help her, she'd be at the house in time to get married, said that I shouldn't tell anyone, that he'd have her back before it began" Alissa said sounding upset

"But she's not back, he said she'd be back right away, I waited here and she's not here, I looked for her but, she's not h---" Alissa said starting to cry, Jessica leaned in and held her to her chest and told her it would be alright, Jessica looked up at John as she leaned down to her child.

"You do know she wouldn't just go with him right?" Jessica told John softly not to alarm Alissa

"Yeah, I know" John said as he headed into the Living room to speak with Bo.

After John explained things to they went into the living room where John took out his cell phone and called the station. Telling every one to be on the look out for Chris's car he ran to the carriage house hoping to find a clue as to what Cris did to Natalie and where he might have taken her. He ran so fast out of the door of the house that he almost slipped and fell on the snow coated ground on the path to the carriage house. The snow was really piling up outside, this was another thing starting to worry him now, the snow, it was coming down so fast it was becoming dangerous.

John ran into the carriage house and saw the back French doors open. Knowing that must have been how he took her out, he thought about what Alissa said, about Chris saying Nat didn't feel good. He looked around on the ground and saw something; it was her veil, picking it up gently as he began to lose his calm exterior. He pushed it back, the anger, the pain, all the worry, the guilt that was right at the surface for him. He had known something was off about Chris when it came to Nat and right now he was mentally trying to keep his cool, so he could find her.

John held the veil and then looked to the ground again, he saw a piece of Material, he picked it, brought it to his nose, "chloroform", he said out loud.

"That Son Of a Bitch" John said losing it full force and he threw a vase that was on the near by table to the ground. He didn't see Bo and Clint walk in till after he broke the vase into a million pieces.

"John! Calm down John, I don't think he'll hurt her" Bo said as he approached him.

"He may not want to hurt her but what about the baby, he chloroformed them, where's Michael?" John asked and Clint got on his phone and called the house asking that Michael come down to the carriage house.

" Bo, where would he take her, do you have any idea's" John asked as he started to calm again

"The Cabin" Jessica said as she walked into the carriage house, Michael followed shortly behind her

"The Buchanan cabin?" John questioned Jessica

"Yep, it was always special to Chris, it... it was the first place they..., that's not important, but I'm pretty sure he'd be taking her there" Jessica told him

"That's if they make it there" they heard Clint say behind them

"The snows coming down pretty hard, it's probably worse by the cabin" Clint said and John didn't say a word back to him, he needed to leave and go find her and now, even if there was a snow storm out there.

Before John was completely out the door he grabbed Michael aside to ask him a few questions.

"Michael, chloroform, if she was chloroformed would it have any .. do any harm to the baby?" John asked almost not wanting to know if the answer was yes.

"Not sure Johnny, it all depends"

"On what?"

"On how much of it she ingested, how much it took to knock her out" he told John and John didn't say another word to him and ran out of the house, he did turn back to Bo and nod when Bo told him to check in every now and then.

" What the Hell is going on!" Natalie yelled at Chris as she woke to find herself in his car driving with him in the snow that seemed to be coming down a inch a minute.

"Just go back to sleep Nat, we'll be there soon" Chris told her calmly as he tried to see thru all the falling snow

"Chris, stop the car, stop it right now!"

"Can't do that pumpkin"

"Christian, I'm not going anywhere with you, turn the damn car around and take me back to Llanfair, I'm suppose to be marrying John!"

"You're not going back and you're not marrying anyone, you belong to me!" Chris said losing his calmness.

Natalie saw the rage in his face, and she looked outside the car, the snow was getting worse. Noticing how hard it was for him to drive in it, as mad as she was right now, as angry and confused as she was right now she needed to keep him calm. Driving conditions were pretty bad and she knew if he wasn't concentrating on the road they could get hurt.

"Okay, Chris, Okay, where are you taking us?" Natalie asked calmly

"To our place, the place where we made things right, the place where we first made love" Chris told her

"The cabin?" Natalie asked and then Chris smiled at her and nodded

"That sounds great Honey, but the snow it's really coming down fast, I'm not sure we'll make it to the cabin if it keeps up like this. Maybe we could stop somewhere, Oh, wait at the hotel right before Rt 9. Remember that old hotel?" Natalie again said everything calmly, not wanting t o upset him and cause an accident. She mentioned that hotel hoping he'd take them there instead, knowing that was the last bit of civilization before the mountains.

"That old Hotel?" Chris questioned

"Yeah, just for now, just till the snow stops and we can make it up to the cabin" Natalie told him and she saw he was about to go for it, then the baby kicked her and she moved her hand automatically to her stomach. Chris noticed what she just did and his temperament changed.

"No! We're going to the cabin," Chris said furiously as he jerked the steering wheel with out realizing it and ran off the road into a high pile of packed snow that the car couldn't drive thru.

It was fast but Natalie saw what happened. She didn't think about anything, not her, not the baby, not the snow, only that he was unstable and she needed to get away from him. Jumping out of the car quickly when it wouldn't move cause of the snow, she ran. She took the blanket with her, the one that he had placed over her wedding dress when he took her from the Carriage house for she didn't have a coat.

Natalie ran as fast as she could in the packed snow as she saw him jump out of his car, leaving the car door opened. He started to run after her and she continued to run approaching a few trees and tried hiding in between them, so he wouldn't see her.


	34. Chapter 34

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**Chapter 34**

John was racing towards the Cabin, he wasn't sure how much of a head start Chris had gotten with her, maybe thirty minutes, maybe forty, he was just so unsure as he looked out of the front windshield at the snow that seem to be never ending, he saw the whiteness of the flakes and wondered if this was it, if today would be the day that he lost it, lost his future, lost her, their child, would this snow, would Christian Vega take away everything to him.

He tried, he tried so hard to push away those feelings, the feeling of gloom as he continued to drive fast thru the packing snow, the thoughts weren't leaving his head, and if they didn't soon, he would be to immobile to find her, to find them. He almost felt it coming on, felt the lose when for some reason he looked out the side door window, he saw something, he shook his head no believing what he saw, his mind was playing tricks on him again, or was it another one of those, memories, dreams, even. He could've sworn he saw a Man and a son having a snowball fight in the snow, he again shook his head thinking about it, as he never stopped driving.

As if that sight, which John had no explanation for since he was driving out in the middle of nowhere in a snow storm, was sent to him, to help him keep it together, and that's just what it did, kept him together, he got him to remember all the times he and his dad had snowball fights in the snow.

John became calm instantly as he remember and he turned his full attention back to the road.

"Natalie, you can't hide from me, you have nowhere to hide babe, you might as well come out" Natalie heard Chris say as she was hiding a few feet away in some trees.

"She knew he was right, she had nowhere to go, to hide, he would eventually find her, she thought about what she could do, how she could get him and do something so he wouldn't get her back into that car and take her up to the cabin, she now knew he was sick, he needed help.

Natalie put her hand on her belly and hoped, she prayed, that she could do this without causing any harm to her child, she just had to time it right, she dug her hands into the cold, icy snow, searching for something underneath it, anything, a branch, a rock, anything when she found something, a thick not so large but a decent size branch, she held the branch in her right hand and she gathered snow for a snow ball in the other hand, she heard him coming closer.

Just as Chris was upon her hiding spot she threw a snowball at him hitting him in the face, Chris jerked his head away from where she was hiding as he felt the ball of snow and ice hit him, he held his face, he stopped moving just long enough for her to come up behind him and hit him over the back of the head with the tree branch. Natalie hit him so hard with everything she had and he fell to the snow knocked out.

Natalie started to run towards the car, when she reached the car, she noticed the light inside the car was out; something she noticed was on a few minutes ago when they jumped out.

"Damn!" she said realizing the battery must be dead, she sat down on the seat of the car for just a minute, trying to think of what was the best thing to do, she knew he would be waking soon, the battery on the car was dead, she had to try and get as far away from there as she could before he woke, he was so unstable she thought, she had never known him to be this way, she didn't know what he would do to her if he woke and got his hands on her. Natalie searched the car quickly for more blankets or a jacket but found none. She wrapped herself up in the one blanket she had draped over her wedding dress and she started to cry, she cried as she walked as fast as she could thru the snowstorm.

John was making such good timing he thought until he got stuck behind a snow plow, he tried to go along side the plow and tell him it was police business but he wasn't able to, he was getting impatient, his nerves were starting in again when he saw the plow move over to the side and let him pass.

Natalie was still walking thru the snow, she was freezing, she cursed herself for listening to the saleswoman from the bridal store, the one that told her it was alright to wear a sleeveless wedding dress for a winter wedding, she continued to walk and her feet felt numb, her hands were already numb because she had dug thru the snow, she wasn't quite sure how much longer she could go on, she wasn't even sure if she was walking in the right direction, she wanted to walk back the way they had drove so when John figured things out, he would be coming this way, when he figured things out, she thought , she closed her eye's briefly hoping he didn't believe she would just leave him at the alter.

Natalie continued to walk as she was having a hard time of it but she knew if she stopped, she wouldn't be able to start again, she was walking weakly when her foot hit something buried underneath the snow and she fall, she fall and laid there for a few minutes till she drifted off, till she became unconscious.


	35. Chapter 35

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**Chapter 35**

John continued to drive as fast as he could; he finally got around all the snowplows and was headed towards the cabin. John stopped his car, grabbed his gun from the glove compartment and jumped out when he saw a car on the side of the road, from what he could see under all the snow that was piling on it, it fit the description of Chris' car, his nerves set in when he looked inside it thru the open car door and didn't see her, he did however see a piece of white fabric that must have ripped off of her wedding dress, he heard a rustling in the trees, not a rustling from the wind or from the storm it sounded like a person coming thru the trees, he pulled out his gun and he saw him, the Son of a Bitch who took her.

Chris was holding the back of his head as he almost blindly walked towards his car, he didn't see John there till he heard his voice.

"Where is she!" John yelled at him, as he got closer with his gun "What the hell did you do with her?" John again questioned, Chris seemed to be hurt but John just didn't give a shit. He pulled at Chris' arms and Chris didn't put up a fight.

"I said where is she?" John yelled into Chris's face, hitting him in the stomach with the butt of his gun.

"I don't know, she hit me with something " Chris told John and John wasn't sure if he should believe him or not. John grabbed Chris and dragged him over to Chris's car. Grabbing the handcuffs from his own car and he cuffed one of Chris's hands and then brought him over to his car and he handcuffed him to the steering wheel leaving him there as he started back to his car so he could go look for her.

"You can't leave me here, I'll freeze to death"

"That's what you deserve, you bastard" John said hitting Chris in the face, then got in his car and started to drive again. He didn't know where to look for her, which direction to go so he stopped the car briefly for a second, closed his eyes, and thought about their baby, he opened them back up and he drove the car in the direction he felt was right, the direction his body was leading him, as if leading him back to his heart.

A few minutes later, not knowing why, but he stopped his car abruptly. He got out of it and started to look around. He closed his eyes hoping it would work again, hoping he would get a feeling to where she was. When he didn't, he opened his eyes, unsettled, then he saw it again, the man and the boy having a snowball fight, this had to be it, he thought, no, he knew. He ran over to the spot where he had just seen it, the snowball fight, he looked down and all he saw was white with strands of red hair mixed in. he instantly without thought picked her up out of the snow, he pulled her body close to his trying to give her his warmth as he carried her to his car.

John laid her in the front seat flat next to him as he raced back towards Llanview.

John drove even faster heading back than he had getting here, he was moving quicker. The plows had done their job and the snow seemed to be letting up. He put his hand on her face and felt that she was still ice cold. He had felt her pulse when he picked her up and it had been weak. She was just so cold and she hadn't woken yet, he had thrown his coat over her when he placed her in the car, he thought about aiming the heating vents from the car all towards her but remembered that, that forced hot air at this point wasn't a good thing. John kept trying to get a call out from his cell phone but for the longest time he couldn't get a signal, he tried again and this time his call went thru, he called Bo, told him he had her and that he was racing her to the hospital, although it would have served Chris right to be left out to die in the snow, he informed Bo where he could find him.

John got off the phone with Bo and he started to pray again, pray that he found her in time, he looked over at her and she still was unresponsive, her lips weren't even chattering, she wasn't moving, he remembered what he had learned years ago when he was at Quantico, that this wasn't a good thing, he touched her cold face with one hand as he drove as fast as possible to get her to the hospital.

"Natalie, Natalie babe, can you hear me, I'm taking you to the hospital, you're going to be alright, you'll be fine, they'll get you warm" John told her softly as he pushed the tears that were forming in his eye's away. Now wasn't the time for them, it wasn't the time to lose hope.

John arrived at the hospital in what could have been record timing considering there was a snow storm occurring, he picked her up out of his car gently and ran her inside to the emergency room, a few nurses saw him run in with her and they grabbed a gurney and rolled her quickly into an exam room as they scrambled to find a Doctor to check her, John tried to follow but one of the nurses told him to stay put for a few minutes so he didn't get in the way of the Doctors, John was about to protest but he didn't, all he did do was call out to the nurses as they whisked her away into a room.

"She's pregnant" He called out loudly so they could hear, one nurse turned to him and asked how far a long she was and he told her a little over four months.

John was standing motionless and breathing heavy when Nat's family arrived at the hospital, Michael and his family were also with them and they approached John, Michael thought it best to approach him first, Michael walked up to John, who seem to be zoning out to everyone around.

"John how is she?" Michael asked then he saw his brother's face. It wasn't good, he didn't look good, was in shock, or was it something more. After a few minutes of motionless silence John spoke but only a few words.

"Not sure, not sure she and the baby are coming out of this Mike" he said softly as he just stared down the hall at the room they had taken Natalie into.

"She was so cold, she wasn't dressed for it, sh--" John said as he started to walk away, Michael grabbed his wrist to get his attention.

"Was she unconscious?" Mikey asked and John nodded yes. "How long John, how long was she out for?"

"I don't know Mikey, I just don't know"

"I'll go see what I can find out" Michael told him

"I'll be in the chapel, come and get me when you know something" John told him as they both turned to walk in different directions, John walked passed the Buchanan's without words and was walking towards the chapel when he saw a gurney being pushed into the Emergency room.

John looked on the gurney and it was Chris, he was awake and they had him strapped to the gurney, Bo was following closely behind the gurney.

Chris was shivering but he was awake, of course he was, he had a coat. John saw his shivering awake face and lost it, he turned to Chris on the gurney and started to pound on him.

"You Son of a Bitch, you're the one that deserves to die, you did this. You!" he screamed at Chris getting in a few good punches before Bo had a chance to pull him off. John retreated back as soon as Bo pulled him off of Chris; he walked again without any other words to the Chapel.

John sat in the front of the chapel, he wasn't sure how else to ask, how else to pray, how else to beg for her to be alright, he had been praying and begging for God to take care of her since he realized she was gone, to take care of them, to bring them back to him, safe and sound. As he sat and looked around the chapel he actually started to get mad, mad at his dad, the dream they had, the one they seem to have at the same time as they both died to speak, he told them it would be alright, everything would be alright.

"You promised Dad, you promised, if you've got any pull up there, any at all, Please, please let them be alright, please dad, please" John said as his knees feel off the chair and he was kneeling down on the floor in front of the alter. His tears came, they all came, the ones he had been pushing back today, and even the ones he never shed, not ever, not even when his dad died.

That was how Clint had found him, when he came into the chapel, he went right up to him, and he abruptly pulled him up off the ground.

"What the heck do you think you are doing!" Clint yelled at him sternly as he pulled him up off the floor.

"My daughter doesn't need a weakling, she definitely doesn't deserve one, get your act together son, and lets see your strength my daughter talks so much about" John stood dumbfounded by his words, he said nothing back

"Pull yourself together, cause you losing it now isn't gonna help Natalie or your baby" Clint told him and he left the chapel


	36. Chapter 36

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**Chapter 36**

John heard her father's words and he pulled himself together, he wiped whatever tears were evident on his face away and he left the chapel. He marched right up to the exam room to see Michael standing inside the room while she was being worked on. She was hooked up to all sorts of machines, there was so many lines and tubes going into her body, he hated seeing her like this. John shook his head knowing this was what had to be done to her, and if she needed all those tubes, all those lines, all those machines, she would have them.

John turned briefly to hear Asa, her grandfather barking orders into his phone, something about having a specialist here right away for her, he smiled weakly and remembered what Alissa said about them being alike, Natalie and her Grandfather, pork-headed, he said to himself and he refocused his attention to Natalie thru the window of the exam room.

Michael noticed John was back from the chapel and he came out of the exam room to speak with him.

"Michael, please tell me what's going on?" John asked him softly

"I'm not gonna candy coat this for you John, she's got... borderline moderate to severe hypothermia, the Doctors... well they aren't sure if she's gonna wake, she... may stay asleep for awhile"

"What does that mean Michael? Does that mean she might be in a coma?"

"Yes, John she could be, we aren't quite sure yet, she hasn't woken yet but it could just be her body restoring herself, or ... she ... could already be in a comatose state, it's just to early to know"

"And the baby" John choked out the words

"She doesn't seem to be affected by all of this, they did an ultrasound and an amino to check for malfunctions, your daughter seems to be fine, they are going to monitor her closely but so far she's fine"

"We're having a little girl?" John asked and a weak smile formed on his lips as Mikey nodded yes.

"Yes, John, I'm sorry I found out by the amino, I...I wasn't thinking, I never should have said anything to you, about your baby's sex. I'm a little messed up about this too."

"I know you are Mikey, it's okay." John said and then he thought about what Michael told him, they were having a little girl. He shook his head, and formed a small weak smile.

"A girl Huh? We've been joking each other... I've been insisting it was a boy and...Natalie... she was insisting that she knew it was a girl, I guess she was right" John said as he stopped himself from getting teary eye's.

"Do you want to tell the Buchanan's about Natalie or should I?"

"You can tell them, I'd like to go in and sit by her or at least be in the room with her, could you maybe arrange it" John asked Michael almost afraid he'd tell him it wasn't possible

"It should be alright, just give them a few minutes to finish up what they are doing in there"

A few minutes went by and then John was allowed to go in an sit with her, he pulled a chair up as close as he could get to her, he sat in the chair, leaned in and touched her face with his hand. John was happy to feel the warmth of her face, it was so cold when he found her, and he held his hand on her face for a few minutes as he just stared at her.

She was so pale; she looked so fragile, John thought as he shook his head knowing. Knowing she wasn't, she wasn't weak, or fragile, not Natalie, she had some kind of inner strength people only dreamed about. it was funny, he thought, her uncle had once told him about how strong a person she was, he had told him once before she and John were even involved. Bo had told him how much she had overcome in her life and still she bounced back, and better than ever, well, this would definitely be one of those times, she would bounce her stubborn self out of what ever state she was in, whether it be a comatose one or just a rebuilding one, she would do it, and she would do it for herself, for their child and for him.

John brought his hand down from her face and placed it on her stomach, he closed his eyes and could see it, them, the three of them for now, but then more, maybe two or even three more, all the girls would have red hair like her, long and curly and the boys would look like him, except they wouldn't be brooding, all their kids would have her personality, he was just to serious, he wanted them to be full of life like she was, he wanted them to bring light and life to everything they did the way she did. He opened his eyes slowly and looked at her.

"I can see it Nat, I can see it all, see it too, and come back to me, so we can have it all." John said as he leaned his head on the bed next to her as he sat in the chair, he closed his eyes to try and see more, see more of their bright future together.

Almost a week had passed and she still hadn't woken up yet, the baby was still doing fine, and John hadn't given up hope; although it was taking a toll on him physically cause he never left the hospital, he still never gave up hope.

Tomorrow would be Christmas and it was real hard for anyone to feel like celebrating the holiday, Vicky was in sitting with Natalie while John got coffee and waited out in the hall.

John had asked the doctors over and over the last week if they knew if this was permanent and they kept giving him the same answer. They just didn't know, they did mention that it was not uncommon for someone like Natalie, someone who had been thru so much in such a short period of time, to put themselves into a coma, to keep themselves in one for they could heal, both mentally and physically, that it was possible she just needed this time to heal, to heal from all that she had overcome of late and all that she had overcome in life.

John looked around the halls and saw all the nurses with Santa hats on and he smiled a little remembering what she said about getting married, why she wanted to so close to Christmas, she wanted a special Christmas, one that they celebrated together. She hadn't ever had one special before. he thought about something and then he made sure with Vicky that she would stay with Nat till he got back.

Two hours later John returned to Natalie's room carrying a burlap bag full of stuff, he could barely open the door to her room when Bo who was out in the hall saw him and helped him open it and carry the stuff in.

"Thanks Bo" John said as he walked into the open door

"What's all this?" Bo asked as he walked into the room with him, They both noticed Vicky had fallen asleep in the chair next to Nat's bed and they quieted their voices not to wake her.

"It's Christmas, you know, and well... she wanted a Christmas together this year, she's got it" John said as he started to pull stuff out of the bag, all sorts of things, a few nicely wrapped presents, some decorations.

As John was putting up some of the Decorations, Vicky had awoken, she looked around the room at all the stuff John was putting around and she smiled, thinking this was a wonderful idea. She too started to help with the stuff, after a few minutes, they all heard a bang on the door. John walked over to it and opened it, in came Michael, and he wasn't alone.

"I don't understand why I had to carry the tree and smuggle it in?" Michael asked John as he brought a five foot tall Christmas tree in.

"Cause you work here Mikey, they wouldn't have let me bring it up" John said and he gave him a small smirk.

"That and my arms were full" John said and he joked for the first time since the day they were suppose to get married.

They all helped decorate her room and the tree, and then Vicky and Bo excused themselves and told them they'd be by tomorrow to see her. Michael was standing in the back of her room watching John closely.

Michael watched as he saw his brother look around the decorated room for a few minutes, he saw John caught up in his own thoughts and then he saw John smile a weak smile. It was weak but it was a smile.

"What?" John said as he saw Michael watching him

"Nothing"

"Just say it Mikey, say it" John told him not believing that it was nothing

"I...I just almost don't recognize you..you're so..so much "

"In love" John said finishing his sentence

"Yeah, that but.. it's like.. you've found something, something you've never had or were missing a ... piece of your..."

"Heart" John said remembering his dad's words

"Yeah, Johnny that's it, your heart, I guess I just never realized it before, or saw it so up close before" Michael said and his pager went off, he told John he had to go he'd see him tomorrow, which was Christmas.

John walked over by Natalie and took his hand and smoothed back her hair, he held his hand on her face for a minute, and leaned down, he gently kissed her lips as he took a seat in the chair next to the bed.

"I thought he'd never leave" John told her with a slight smirk as he again touched her face with his hand

"You know what tonight is don't cha? It's Christmas Eve, yeah, it's our first Christmas together, and... well I was going to hold on to your presents and make you open them tomorrow but... well.. since your family says they are coming back tomorrow, I'm kind of afraid we won't have any alone time, so, I think I'll give them to you now" John said as he got up and grabbed the few wrapped presents that he had left on the window ledge earlier.


	37. Chapter 37

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**Chapter 37**

"This one is from the baby, I know, it sounds stupid but I bought it before the wedding ... I mean before we were suppose to get married and I was going to give it to you then," John sat again in the chair next to her and he opened the paper on the small box, he moved the paper out of the way as he revealed a gold locket on a chain. John opened the locket with his finger.

"It's a locket, I already put a picture of us, a tiny picture and you don't even want to know what I had to go thru to get a picture that small none the less put it in this thing, anyway.. it has a picture of us on one side and the other side is waiting for a picture of our baby." John told her as he closed the locket, un-did the clasp and put it around her neck, re-clasped it and let it hang on her neck. He felt himself start to tear and he rubbed his eyes a bit pushing them back, the tears.

"Okay, there's more presents, this one I actually bought for the baby" John opened up another nicely wrapped present and it was a teddy bear with a blue velvet bow on it.

"I think this one will have to go back, I forgot it had a blue bow on it, and our daughter probably wouldn't like it very much"

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"I'm still so tired, what's going on? Am I home yet, John, John, honey when will I be home? What am I doing here?" Natalie said as she looked around and she was in some kind of park, there were children running and playing, there was a swing set, she loved swings, ever since she was a little girl,. Natalie had been drawn to the swings, she watched as a small girl with red hair ran up to the swing and sat down on it.

"Push me daddy, push me" she heard the little girl say and Natalie watched as John walked over behind the girl and started pushing her. She stood frozen watching them as they laughed and joked, as John pushed the girl higher and higher. Then she heard the little girl speak again.

"Now you mommy, push me, higher, high up to the sky, please?" Natalie didn't move, she just watched the little girls face as she pleaded for her mom to come push her. She even heard John.

"Come on, your turn to push her, she wants you to"

Natalie shook her head, then she felt a hand on her shoulder. She didn't turn to see who it was, she knew.

"Their waiting Natalie, go to them"

" I can't I'm so tired, I need to rest more"

"No you don't, you only need them, they only need you, go Natalie, go Now"

Natalie watched the picture in front of her for another minute and then she heard the girl again

"Mommy, please push me" Natalie started to walk towards the girl on the swing, towards John behind the girl, she smiled, she wasn't tired any longer.

"I know I didn't tell you yet, but... you know Michael he has a big mouth and he found out the baby was a girl so it turns out you were right after all, we are having a girl, I really wanted to tell you when you woke up but I---"

"I am awake, John" Natalie said as her eye's fluttered open

John looked at her as he heard the words, beautiful words coming from her mouth. Any words would have been beautiful music to his ears at this point. John tried to speak but got choked up at seeing her eye's open, he tried to smile but couldn't form anything on his face but a slight smirk, suddenly feeling like maybe he was imagining things he pushed the call button on the wall. Again he tried to speak but couldn't, he just watched her for a minute when Michael came running into the room.

"John, I was at the nurses station when the button went off, what's going on" Michael asked as he walked into the room, Natalie's eyes had fluttered closed again, and she wasn't speaking.

"She woke up Mikey" John said and he pointed towards Natalie.

"I..I don't know what happened.. she was awake a minute ago" John said getting upset as he went real close to her, he put his hand on her face. He could have sworn she was awake; Michael took his little flashlight and started towards her eyes, when they opened, they blinked a little first but they opened up wide, John's grin spread wide and Michael looked at her curious.

"Playing possum Natalie, so maybe I would leave and you could have this big guy all to yourself"

"I guess you aren't as dumb as you look then" she said with a slight smile on her face, as her eye's adapted to the light in the room.

"Good to have you back Kid" Michael told her as he glanced at her machines, everything was fine, more the fine she and the baby were perfect. Michael walked passed John who looked stunned for a few seconds.

"I can't believe you 're awake" John said as he pulled his chair close to the bed, he sat down in it, and he brought his face and his hands to her. He rested a hand on her stomach and the other on her cheek.

"I had to wake, someone's got to take care of you and I need to push our daughter on the swings"


	38. Chapter 38

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**Chapter 38**

"What?" John asked being confused by her comment about pushing their daughter on the swings.

"Nothing, it' not important, I'm.. I'm just happy to be awake, I've got a job to do"

"You do, do you?"

"Yeah, someone's gotta take care of you Mcbain"

"Someone does huh? And you're volunteering for the job?"

"Yep, I'd love to do it, I love you" Natalie told him as he leaned in close and kissed her lips

"I love you too, I love you so much, don't ever do that to me again, okay? We could have lost you, our little girl and I, we could've lost you"

"John"

"I know Natalie, I know this one had nothing to do with work or even related to work, but .., never mind, it 's not important now, all that's important is your awake, and in time for Christmas."

"It's Christmas?"

"In a few hours it will be" John told her as he saw her pick up the bear he bought for the baby, he had left it on the bed when he got so excited that she was awake.

"You do know the blue bow's gotta go right?" Natalie said and he nodded his head yes, as he laughed, Natalie made room for him in the bed next to her, he laid next to her and brought her head to his chest.

"Lets rest, it's late, tomorrow will be a long day"

"I couldn't possibility sleep any more," She said as she saw his eyes fluttering closed

"Well I can" he barely got the words out of his mouth and he was sound asleep. She watched him sleep and knew, she knew he must not have gotten much sleep since she was brought in. she took her hand and reached up and touched his face, she was lucky, so very lucky and she knew it.

Natalie laid awake in his arms for a few hours just thinking, thinking about what to do, she had been avoiding quitting her job because she thought if she did, if she quit she would feel worthless again, like she did when she was younger, she looked at John asleep within her arms and she knew, she knew for the first time in her life that, that wasn't the truth, she would never feel worthless again.

Natalie made a few decisions as she laid awake, decisions she wanted to act on, and she didn't want to waste anymore time, she carefully pulled herself out of his grip, she opened the door to her room and walked out of it, she saw Michael and he came running over to her.

"Nat, you shouldn't be out of bed so soon, at least not by yourself, where's John?"

"He fell asleep, something tells me he didn't get much sleep while I got mine"

"That's true, he was devoted to you, he was here almost the whole time, of course he left so he could get stuff to decorate for you, which I helped him with" Michael said giving himself a pat on the back.

"Thanks Michael, the decorations looked really nice, I appreciate it, can you help me with something, it's important"

"Sure kid anything, anything," Michael said and he smiled as she borrowed his phone and told him what she had planned.

The Next morning came quick when John woke by Michael nudging to get him up.

"What Michael, leave me alone"

"John you need to wake up now, get up!"

"What, hey, where's Nat?"

"She's in the chapel for Christmas service, she sent me to get you" Michael told him as he handed him some clothes, "you're a mess, go change into fresh clothes, maybe brush your teeth or something, comb your hair, you don't want to scare all the children at mass do ya"

John went into the bathroom, changed and washed up, about fifteen minutes later Michael was waiting for him and when John was ready they both walked to the chapel.

John came upon the chapel doors; he opened them gently expecting to be walking into the middle of mass when he saw her.

Natalie stood in the front of the alter, she wasn't wearing her nightgown or hospital gown, she had on a simple white dress, her beautiful pregnant belly stuck out a little and she looked amazing, Jessica was standing next to her, John looked around the chapel and all their immediate family members were there, there was even a priest.

Michael nudged John with his shoulder and John took the hint and walked forward to met Natalie in the front of the alter, he smiled at her as he stood next to her.

"You're late" Natalie told him with a smirk

"He had to brush his teeth" Michael said chuckling as he stood behind the two of them as they pledged their love to God, as they were married on Christmas day.


End file.
